Halo Effect

From the outside looking in many relationships appear either great or
simply a disaster.

There are also relationships that are kept so private that people begin
to brew rumors. They begin to say things like “There is no way that their relationship is perfect” Whoever said it was perfect? There is no such thing as a “perfect” relationship because human beings are not perfect and never will be.

However , you have relationships that have two people who are “perfect” for each other. These types of folks are those who no longer want to argue and have a common goal they are both trying to achieve. Basically, they are both on the same page traveling in the same direction!

Is it possible for couple to have a disagreement and not argue? Of course, if they both are mature and able to control their emotions. If your boss does something to you that pushes you over the deep end you dare not yell at them or risk losing your job.

This same principle should be applied in relationships…DO NOT YELL…communicate in a calm and civil manner leaving out sarcasm and threats. Take a few days to think about what you would like to discuss and how you plan to deliver your message.

People tend to listen more if you treat them like a human being with respect.

On the other hand, yelling causes the receiver to shut down and start to develop a dislike towards you. This is one of the many reasons why it is also extremely important to know your partners past; to understand why certain behavior such as raising your voice triggers them to act out of character.

Chill out and act you have some sense…you would be surprised how much your relationship would grow if your partner was not afraid to speak with you about things that are troubling them about the relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seeking the Truth

The truth hurts sometimes. But it really should be more of a welcoming revelation to allow you to grow. You will have people tell you how awful you are and how great you are…how do you decide which is true or false?

People lie and that is why you must know the truth about who you are! People will tell you what you want Β to hear with hopes of some sort of benefit that you will provide for them.

To receive the truth, we must be willing to face the frightening realities about ourselves that rebel against the truth.

This takes courage.

To assimilate the truth into our lives means that we must roll up our sleeves and take a hard look at ourselves in the mirror. Never seek approval from others so much that you allow them to dictate how you live your life.

The truth doesn’t have to come from outsiders who desire to hurt and destroy you with their venomous tongue.

We must already be aware of the thoughts and actions that need to change. Our attitudes need consistent fine tuning 24/7…

We also must focus on ourselves before looking at how others should improve. Always resist the tendency to become critical and condemning of others who are still in the truth-seeking process.

This takes humility.

If I had no idea of who “Patrice” was then this world would eat me alive….

Goodbye #2016 Hello #2017

Christmas is about love and family not “What did you get me?” Oh! and the FOOD!!

It’s the thought that matters when someone gives you a gift not the value of the gift.

This year has been a VERY challenging and almost whooped my butt.

If it weren’t for my FAITh, my husband, parents and sisters… I never would have survived.

Reggie is my male BFF and he loves me no matter how strange and imperfect I am. Thanks Bro!
John who believed in me and gave me an opportunity to actually utilize my degree!
These two guys are God sent and I love them dearly…I am honored to be part of their life.

If only they knew how much they both have touched my life and made me feel like I REALLy matter in this enormous universe with no ill intent…

I promise to approach life situations more carfully and with more thought before acting.

I am always under a microscope and people misjudge me all the time! Instead of assuming it’s far better to ask…you never know what is on a persons mind or what life challenges they are facing.

I’ve learned many moons ago to accept that I can’t change how others see me.
Instead I will continue to look for the good in everything and everyone that I encounter while keeping things in perspective.

I am always in deep thought reflecting on how I could have done things differently. The fact of the matter is that my life is already written. The decisions made will either Keep me on course or veer me off my path.

Standards

I β™₯️ to write: πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I’ve noticed that so many women remain single because they have a “TYPE” of man they will only consider. There is nothing wrong with having standards when it comes to a man. However; try to make those standards less physical.

I’ll have to be honest, my husband was not what I considered my type.
I wanted a man that was 6 5″, Rock solid body, darn near wealthy, dark chocolate just to name some…my LUST was a long list. Those “types” treated me as if I meant nothing to them…I was a piece of meat.

They dogged me OUT!!! Every woman wanted them, he knew it and did not fear the LORD.

This is not the case with all men fitting the physical description. But the men I ran across were the worse πŸ˜‘πŸ˜πŸ™„

I had to be more realistic and focus on how a man treated me. What they had to offer and how they looked was less important.

Nobody wants to marry a bum….I get that. We all want an attractive face to look at but I prefer a beautiful spirit over it all.

My husband is darling and very handsome which is a plus but wasn’t a must.

Sometimes you have to cultivate your man! Plant seeds and support him….we demand and expect things that are not important.

Get back to the basics and build together, work out together and make your dreams a reality together!

Marriage

There are plenty of folks that love the concept of marriage….

Those who are determined to never get married for various reasons understand that marriage is a serious commitment.

If you marry the wrong person your life will be a living hell. Get married for all the right reasons and love being one of those….not πŸ’ΈπŸ’΅πŸ’°money…or because you have hot passionate sex.

Marry your best friend and if you’re not best friends work on cultivating a friendship first.

I strongly believe the type of love that allows you to remain happily married is love that comes after friendship.

Stop Settling…

There are so many men/women who settle because they have no idea how they really should be treated.

I am not saying you have to be married in order to experience true love-but there is a level of respect you will receive everyday that matters the most.

You will never have to wait for your call to be answered- and if your call goes unanswered you will get a call back in no time. You won’t have to wait hours!

Your needs will be anticipated and you’ll never feel like #2!!

You will never argue because you work at not making each other upset. It’s amazing!!! We put more effort in keeping a job than our relationships.

When other women/men call your phone about your partner you have really placed yourself in a bad situation.

Why should you have to compete? Then you hate and call others fake when they want the whole world to know that all that bullshyt you are going through is unnecessary.
Prepare yourself for a lifetime of misery…you have to love yourself first.

After a Bad Relationship

A bad relationship can make you feel like your whole world has come to an end when you have given this “person” your heart.

The most important thing that I will share with you is to NEVER beat yourself up. Calling yourself stupid and telling yourself a million times that you wish you had never met her/him will only make the healing process longer.

Hate and disappointment is a sure fire way to make you into a bitter scorned reject.
When you experience a set back and someone tries to destroy you don’t think about the evil that has been done to you.
Focus on the purpose. Yes, focus on the reason why this disaster of a relationship happened and what role you played. There is always a reason why situations happen nothing just happens. Life altering changes are exactly that…pray, cry, scream do whatever just open your eyes and your heart to start the healing process.

Always remember that you can’t play the blame game. It takes two to tangle even if you are allowing the person to walk all over you…Key word”allow”.