I am Leaving You…huh?

Who exactly invented divorce? If the concept of having the “option” to leave your husband or wife never existed do you believe it would be natural to reverse what you once thought was the best thing ever? People get married for many reasons but mostly love right ?
I don’t think so buddy, at least not anymore. Good sex, security and financial gain is on top of the list. You got married for love? Ok, great not gonna debate that however that does not apply to everyone.
Let’s say Sean and Lisa got married for love but decided love didn’t live in their house anymore. Fine! People fall out of love but why? They simply forget the reason they fell in love in the first freaking place and get lazy with working on the relationship side of the marriage. Another issue is they bring others into the equation which screws things up in a major way (huge diversion). Oh my! Let’s not forget about telling people about your marital problems and receiving the worst advice ever!!!! Unless, your spouse is using you for a boxing bag or is verbally abusive, work your problems out amongst the TWO of you. The only other person you should involve is a marriage counselor or use whatever your religious system is to reinforce the vows you took. It’s a jungle out here so if you have a decent thing going better hold on to it. Only you know what’s best. Besides, if your spouse turns out to be a complete idiot when things get rough they pretty much were an idiot before you got married…hmmmm? That’s another post.

Hate Sucks!

When you know for certain not by what you were told that a person hates you for no apparent reason or for something you did to them BUT you have no idea what you have done…at the very least, that person should tell you what you did or better yet concentrate on loving themselves then they won’t have time nor the desire to hate anyone else. Before you decide to practice hate look in the mirror first. I wanted to hate someone for telling lies about me or breaking my heart. I was more hurt then anything.
I forgave them all and understood that people who hate and people who hurt others have not yet discovered love.

False Nails Gone Bad

There is nothing wrong with false nails if you keep them clean and at a reasonable length. Some are shaped like a sharp knife, super thick or look like they can be used as a mini shovel. The worst is when you see the dirt embedded under or stuck between where the false nail and real nail meet. The super long claws with those crazy flamboyant colors is a clear indicator of someone wanting to be “noticed”. My nail tech talked me into getting one finger dazzled up since all ten done up with a design would have made me dizzy. I couldn’t keep my eyes off that one obnoxious design that I went back the next day to have it removed. I wear active length solid colors and that works fine and keep my nails grime free. Besides how in the heck can you wash your personal parts or wipe your backside after a dump when you have claws for nails? Never mind I will make my own sandwich but thanks for offering.


I will admit there have been times being Black was embarrassing. The metro rides with the young kids shouting obscenities at each other and screaming at the white folks on the train made me want to kick all them in the buttocks until my foot came through their mouths!
If I spoke up would it have helped? No indeed, they would have all jumped on me and beat me to a pulp. Flip side of that, say I whipped their a** then charges as they are under age, would hunt me forever!
It gets worse, no matter how awful the heathens behave the parents will defend them!
I consider myself pretty tough BUT even I am afraid of my own people sometimes. I can only imagine how other races feel. I bite my tongue and pray that others will not categorize all of us because we are not all the same. You would think others would know this but racism still exist and stereotypes. Honestly, when you shout or even think in your mind “I hate n*ggers!” We do the same thing with as much conviction. But guess what ? N*ggers come in all colors!!!!
It’s not appearance it’s behavior.

They Used Me!

We all are guilty of allowing ourselves to be used. What amuses me is we get angry at the person we allowed to use us when we finally realize we have been manipulated in the worst way. We are aware of the intent from the other person but are we expecting them to reciprocate? That’s where the problem begins! If you decide to help someone or give them your heart don’t expect the same in return because that’s a choice you made. Be angry with yourself especially if you never told them how you felt, what you wanted in return or whether they were on the same page. If they don’t feel the same as you or at least see a future with you do not waste your time. You are not a cat therefore you do not have nine lives.

Busy Body or Not Interested?

I don’t care how busy a person is if they want to make time for you they simply will.  I recall attending school part-time, working a part-time gig and holding down a full time job. To make matters even more complicated I had an exciting social life! When it came time to me calling my honey the one I cared about the most with out any doubt I made time to pick up that phone to show him love.  I would lose sleep to spend some quality time with my sugar plum because he meant that much to me. There was no time for cheating or having a line up during the most hectic time of my life. Because I know first hand what it  meant to be crazy busy out of  your mind that I hardly got 4 hours of sleep; is why I REFUSE to believe that a person is too busy to pick up that dang phone, fawk a text!

My belief is, if they aren’t  talking to you throughout the course of the day they sure as heck are talking to somebody! It may be Todd or Tiffany but it’s someone. It really aggravates me when a man I am involved with tells me he was to0 busy to call me. What he really meant was, you are not  important enough for me to make time to call you…Yep!  My first question is did you make time to take a leak today?  For sure he made time to eye some chick walking pass in a short skirt. Well, let’s just say that’s some piss poor as excuse.

Cell phones are portable and you can easily find a quiet corner to call the one you love or care about. It only takes a few more seconds to say “Hey babe just wanted to let you I was thinking of you!”  When someone is on your mind you are compelled to call them.  I will admit there were some days I ran around like a run away slave and didn’t have time to come up for air. Crazy days are to be expected but not every damn day or else you need to revamp your life to prevent having a stroke. Isn’t it funny how everyone calls you especially folks you wish would stop calling? The main person you want to call just will not dial your number because they are too busy and you have to understand and be patient? No! I will not…On to the next is my motto 😉

In short, no one is that busy that they can’t call you if you mean anything to them. Funny how they can find time to call you when they want to jump in those sheets huh?  One would think they would be too exhausted after having such a demanding day so how do they have enough energy for screwing?  Of course, they have time to finish screwing you around they’ve been doing it all day.

Need more input on this topic pick up the national best seller “He’s Really Not that In to You” it’s something you already know but some of us have to see it in I black and white, go figure???


Should He Pay the Bill $$

You decide to have dinner with this guy who insists on taking you on a date. Once you two finish your meal the check comes. Should you offer to pay the bill? If you think because he asked you out he should automatically pay that’s the wrong attitude because he owes you nothing. You both had a meal and shared conversation. Dude, she owes you nothing either if you pay the bill. Ok, my best advice for the woman is to make sure you never go on a date without enough money to actually pay the bill and make sure you have cab money. I always drove my car and met at the place for safety reasons. Alright, if you really like the guy and plan to see him again at least offer to pay the bill. If your date refuses your attempt (hurray!) you leave the tip no matter what he says besides the waiter wins. The guy may fall in love with the fact you offered knowing you weren’t just looking for a free meal. Believe it or not, some guys love it when women offer to take them out and foot the bill. Don’t make this more complicated then it is since the first date should be fun. But remember the first date determines many things! I could be wrong but knowing someone is willing to go 50/50 would be a huge deciding factor. Everybody wants a free ride and it’s not fair to assume every guy has loads of cash willing to spoil you. His future could be bright you never know! So, with that being said be flexible, fair and have fun.

Why Is She Scratching Her Scalp Like That!?

The truth of the matter is that many, NOT ALL, women who wear a weave or braids don’t wash their hair at all or not enough. Sounds gross and some may even get offended but I don’t give a rat’s buttocks because you are nasty!

When I wore a weave my stylist washed and styled it as if it were my very own hair. Washing caused my weave to become loose but she was there with her needle and thread to tighten it up. One thing for sure my scalp, hair and the weave was squeaky clean. There are too many times on the metro women with braids are digging into their hair, examining the dirt removed from the scalp then tossing it. If you are close enough you may be grossed out even more from a nasty sour smelling aroma that smacks you in the nose.

Now if that is not enough to be considered dirty what is? The patting on the head that turns into loud pounding is very disturbing when all you have to do is wash your hair. Dry scalp may be the cause as well however you can fix that too with oil or dandruff shampoo. If that doesn’t work visit your dermatologist.

Everybody’s scalp will itch that’s normal. I just hate to “hear” then look and see someone digging for days that’s just nasty. I don’t know, maybe the long metro ride is boring so what else is there to do besides read a book, listen to music or time how long someone scratches their weave.

I always wondered if they made their scalp bleed.

He Called You A B*tch

When the man you are in a relationship with calls you a b*tch how exactly should you respond? Most women cry or scream and yell obscenities instead of really thinking about what role they played that made this man feel like he could get away with calling you out of your name. A man knows which women will allow that type of disrespectful behavior. On the other hand, a man also knows whom not to call a b*tch if he doesn’t want her to knock his teeth out or better yet erase him from her life forever. Is it really that big of a deal if he called you a b*tch? Well, it’s a huge deal to me, whether he meant it or not. That word should have never rolled off his tongue period if he ever had an ounce of respect. He may think I am a b*tch or even call me a b*tch in his mind. But hearing someone that you thought loved and respected you call you a b*tch is very painful. For the sake of fairness, we may exhibit some behavior that would make just about anyone call us a b*tch. However, there is still no justifiable reason to actually blurt out “you are a b*tch!” A stranger could care less and not think about how they would feel if someone called their mother, daughter or sister a b*tch. My point is, no matter the behavior of a female referring to her as a b*tch is wrong on every imaginable level.

Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

I have experienced one of the worst two weeks of my life. Change is inevitable however the process in which change occurs can be extremely abrupt not allowing a chance to adapt.
I lost my Aunt and a wonderful friend who was a beautiful person in the same week. My cousin told me to purchase the paper on Friday since my Aunt’s obituary was listed and I stumbled upon my friend’s picture one page over! I was already in a sad place as a result of the loss of my Aunt to cancer. But once I saw Joe’s face in the obituary along with my Aunt’s picture, I started to sob uncontrollably. Is this really happening? I took a picture of the listing with my iPhone and texted it to Tanya who confirmed it was Joe.
Accepting the fact that I lost two people in one week is painful beyond comprehension. My chest is tight and sometimes I forget to breath until I feel light headed. If only there was another chance to see him. That hug I decided to not give him would have been given without a second thought. The times my schedule was so called too hectic to visit my Auntie would have been cleared even if for just a few hours. Feeling really stupid right now wishing, hoping and praying they both knew how much I loved them. Joe died in his sleep and even from his death whether by chance or not he wanted me know that he was called home. Joe knew that his friend would have been looking for him. Death is part of life but it sure hurts something terrible!