Dating Games

When you are dating someone and you somehow come up with this verbal contract that you will not do this or that, unfortunately, that will not hold up in a court of law.

I am trying to figure out why people think they have the right to “own” you in a sense but never fully commit by either proposing or actually marrying you. I’ve heard many times that in order for you to move on to the next level you have to start somewhere. That’s fair, however; do you really know for certain the other party is on the same page as you are? We all know marriage is no guarantee of commitment these days!

Are they saying or doing “just enough” to appease you? Can I get a freaking promise ring or something?

They know exactly what to do to keep you dangling and your feelings grow deeper for them never knowing they are not really that into you. The sex is good they have your mind, have you coming back every time.

In reality, you are single and should be free to do what you please within reason and remaining as respectful as possible. Instead, we give our all when in fact the other party has no intention of ever fully committing which actually sucks when you think about it.

People will lie just to have two pieces of pie. They want to gamble and string you along until they decide who they want to settle down with if they ever do. You are either in this or not there is no in-between life is too short to play games.

My Baby is Growing Up…

This morning I drove up next to my baby girl who is now driving and noticed she was looking down in her lap. I figured she was looking at her phone perhaps texting? She never noticed my car next to her at the red light.

I wanted to roll my window down, didn’t think to blow my horn or call to get her attention before the light turned green. She drove off pretty fast and my motherly fears came down on me hard. I did manage to send her a text asking her to put down the phone while driving praying she took heed to the warning. I watched her drive away until I couldn’t see her anymore as she veered off to the right taking the beltway.

My baby is all grown up now and it’s hard to let her go and not worry so much. I used to say that everybody thinks that their child is beautiful and perfect because they created (with God’s Help) them…but she is really beautiful and perfect. As I examine her little cute features and observe her behavior she is my little Master Piece.

What Regina doesn’t understand is that I am not trying to be a control freak or boss her around when she’s not in my presence it’s just that I CARE. I love her far too much to have her be hurt because of text messaging. If she only knew that my world would cease to exist if anything happened to her. This child was born a bundle of joy and love from the start. I am so happy that God blessed me with such a wonderful beautiful child.

My children are the ONLY reason why I want to continue to walk on this earth and without them I have no other purpose until God reveals it to me. I yell at her, we argue but she knows that I love her. Last night, I told her to get out of my room and now that I think about it she only wanted to be around her Mommy.

She may be growing up but she will always be my baby.

You Never Met Me But You Don’t Like Me?

There are some folks that do everything in their power to make you not like them.

There have been people that I actually liked but for whatever reason they despised me.
If I never met you how in the world can I determine that I don’t like you?

Well, it’s done to me all the dang time. They see me and judge me without getting to know who I am and they don’t like me? Honestly, who cares besides they don’t pay my bills, feed me nor provide clothing? But it really puzzles me about how they determined that they aren’t fond of me without ever becoming acquainted. Hearsay plays a huge part most of the time. If you allow someone else to help you form an opinion about another person you never met you are a complete idiot.

In some cases the biased opinion of someone may be indeed true! However, everyone deserves a fair chance before you claim you don’t like someone. “I don’t like that bytch, I don’t know why, I just don’t” heard that many times and you know what that’s one sick puppy who says something so silly.

Why would you want enemies on purpose? When you ignore them and continue to be who you are never allowing them to make you act out of character is not an easy tasks sometimes.

You really want to curse them out but you know that ladies shouldn’t curse says Daddy :). You know that two wrongs don’t make a right says Grandma. Kill them with kindness says Mommy. Turn the other cheek says Jesus.

You must understand that people who are miserable and unhappy with themselves find some sort of satisfaction in irritating, upsetting others and gossiping.

Feel sorry for them and most importantly pray for them. Continue to be the Happy You!

Diarrhea of the Mouth…

Diarrhea of the mouth is a terrible thing and has not only hurt but ruined people’s lives!
Be very careful sharing personal sensitive matters with others.
Evil people store everything you tell them in their little pea sized brain to throw in your face later.
People like this are weak individuals with no integrity.
No matter how ugly a
disagreement/breakup is you should never use what someone told you about themselves to hurt or embarrass them.
People who behave this way make me wish I never met them and make me want to vomit.
Be leery of those that are eager to hear all the juicy or bad stuff going on in your life but tell you zero about them or just enough to keep you talking.
If you divulge information shared in confidence with others you are a piece of stinky poop and can’t be trusted.
Go crawl back under your rock you snake.

Does Love Expire?

We all have different thresholds when it comes to how much we will endure.
If the wind blows some of us in the wrong direction we give up. Fighting for love just doesn’t seem advantageous to me or maybe I am just lazy. Love to me should come easy, flow with no restrictions and happen when you least expect it never actually planning it.

The first time a man tells me that I must not really love him because I won’t argue will make me run for the hills. You have got to be freaking kidding me? Do you think I want to live my life arguing with anyone? That’s a double negative dude and you can keep it moving bye- bye. Anything worth having is worth fighting for when it comes to relationships, no way! You are either in this or not buddy take your pick because I am not fighting or forcing anyone to be with me.

Some will fight through quicksand for years until they finally decide they have had enough. I am lover not a fighter but have been known to stick around way too longer than I should for the sake of finding love. After a while, I begin to feel like a used sucker providing perks that only a husband should be privy to.

Love expires no matter what they say about it being forever. There is indeed a thin line between love and hate as well. When people play games with your emotions it can be devastating especially when the entire relationship was never real.

How can someone FAKE a relationship that last for years? I have no idea but it has been done even when it comes to marriages. My honest opinion would be it’s nobody’s fault but my own if I don’t realize he’s a phony when the writing is almost always on the wall.

We not only know when someone is taking us seriously we can feel it but instead we choose to hope that one day their feeling will change. Lust will get you caught up every time.

Never ignore your instinct or the little feeling you get when things are not right it’s how you protect your heart. The one thing that scares me the most is that I actually may enjoy being single for the rest of my life if that means peace of mind is the prize.

Sense of Entitlement

Sense of entitlement can be destructive in any relationship.
When you honestly believe that people owe you something or are supposed to do certain things can become problematic.
Unless your partner is a mind reader you pretty much can expect your “expectations” to not be fulfilled.
They may have dated someone previously that was perfectly fine with them not cooking, opening the car door , not giving them a few bucks or just simply being an arse.
Some folks are high maintenance emotionally whereas some aren’t.
Basically, you have to ask for what you want and lay the law in the beginning. Once you have communicated your needs cool but don’t think the other party will deliver especially if they feel you have the sense of entitlement attitude.
Most become resistant or rebellious when they are pressured to do things or behave a certain when it’s totally not who they are.
Let’s face it, people do nice things expecting some type of reciprocation, blessings or SEX.
When you invest your money wouldn’t you expect a return on that investment?
You will hear a person say they did it from their heart which is hogwash.
People who do things from their heart don’t broadcast it.
People in relationships are infamous at keeping a tally of how much they have done for their partner/friend.
We must realize that everyone won’t think like us, love like us or give like us!
When you expect anything in return you set yourself up for disappointment.
Anything you receive extra is a plus so just chill out and continue to be you.
If you find that the individual is taking advantage of your kindness and generosity don’t become angry discuss your dissatisfaction with their lack of appreciation.
Some folks do things out of love and just want to be shown love in return. The problem with that is we can only hope that the other individual actually loves you back.
Things can get complicated in any situation dealing with a person that feels you are supposed to do certain things.
The amusing part of it all is what is expected is almost always never communicated!
Lastly, the world owes you nada so get over yourself and get your own everything.
The day you stop depending on others is the day you are free to be happy so what if people call you selfish occasionally.

This is a sad story told with a sense of terrific humor. I am so proud of her for not allowing what she experienced to keep her down!!!

Starting Over After 50

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CHEATING AND YOUR SELF ESTEEM!!! 3.13.13

I think I need to write this piece more for myself than for anything else. When we are  not wanted, when we are told it just isn’t working out anymore,  and you go your separate ways…those ol’ wheels in that noggin start to turning. Then you may start to thinking and questioning yourself. Like, what is wrong with me.

Hopefully you are not like me. Let me tell you a little secret about myself. During the downfall of my marriage…ha! which was the entire time…I spent A LOT of time in the mirror. Looking. I would put on that make-up like I was auditioning for  Ringling Brothers. The more he cheated, the harder I looked in the mirror.

I didn’t see it as a character flaw in him, that maybe he was a lowdown-good-for-nothing-dog-in-heat. I saw me as not good enough. What can I…

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Fame & Success!

We all want to believe that success and fame can be achieved.
The only issue is we tend to want to achieve success and/or fame based on other individuals. Use others as a marker or to motivate you but never think you have failed if you don’t measure up to what others have achieved.
Their success story isn’t yours we all are destined to have our very own success story.
You can be a successful garbage man simply because you have remained gainfully employed, provide for your family and make lots of people happy removing their stinky trash.
Being rich isn’t always about what you have in your bank account.
Being famous doesn’t mean you have to sell a million records and appear on television.
You can become famous for feeding the hungry, showing humanity, having integrity or just by being true to yourself.
The only person besides yourself that should be measuring your success is Jesus. Become famous in his eyes never mind what the world decides on what it takes to be famous.
No matter how much money you have you can’t buy your way into heaven.
All those worldly things that you worked so hard for neglecting your family and even your health will remain here on earth.
Think about that for a minute. Life can be simple and happy at the same time! Provide yourself with what you need more often than what you want. Invest in your family by giving them love and your TIME!
We all can achieve both success and fame but that depends on what you believe really matters.