Sense of Entitlement

Sense of entitlement can be destructive in any relationship.
When you honestly believe that people owe you something or are supposed to do certain things can become problematic.
Unless your partner is a mind reader you pretty much can expect your “expectations” to not be fulfilled.
They may have dated someone previously that was perfectly fine with them not cooking, opening the car door , not giving them a few bucks or just simply being an arse.
Some folks are high maintenance emotionally whereas some aren’t.
Basically, you have to ask for what you want and lay the law in the beginning. Once you have communicated your needs cool but don’t think the other party will deliver especially if they feel you have the sense of entitlement attitude.
Most become resistant or rebellious when they are pressured to do things or behave a certain when it’s totally not who they are.
Let’s face it, people do nice things expecting some type of reciprocation, blessings or SEX.
When you invest your money wouldn’t you expect a return on that investment?
You will hear a person say they did it from their heart which is hogwash.
People who do things from their heart don’t broadcast it.
People in relationships are infamous at keeping a tally of how much they have done for their partner/friend.
We must realize that everyone won’t think like us, love like us or give like us!
When you expect anything in return you set yourself up for disappointment.
Anything you receive extra is a plus so just chill out and continue to be you.
If you find that the individual is taking advantage of your kindness and generosity don’t become angry discuss your dissatisfaction with their lack of appreciation.
Some folks do things out of love and just want to be shown love in return. The problem with that is we can only hope that the other individual actually loves you back.
Things can get complicated in any situation dealing with a person that feels you are supposed to do certain things.
The amusing part of it all is what is expected is almost always never communicated!
Lastly, the world owes you nada so get over yourself and get your own everything.
The day you stop depending on others is the day you are free to be happy so what if people call you selfish occasionally.

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This is a sad story told with a sense of terrific humor. I am so proud of her for not allowing what she experienced to keep her down!!!

Starting Over After 50

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CHEATING AND YOUR SELF ESTEEM!!! 3.13.13

I think I need to write this piece more for myself than for anything else. When we are  not wanted, when we are told it just isn’t working out anymore,  and you go your separate ways…those ol’ wheels in that noggin start to turning. Then you may start to thinking and questioning yourself. Like, what is wrong with me.

Hopefully you are not like me. Let me tell you a little secret about myself. During the downfall of my marriage…ha! which was the entire time…I spent A LOT of time in the mirror. Looking. I would put on that make-up like I was auditioning for  Ringling Brothers. The more he cheated, the harder I looked in the mirror.

I didn’t see it as a character flaw in him, that maybe he was a lowdown-good-for-nothing-dog-in-heat. I saw me as not good enough. What can I…

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Fame & Success!

We all want to believe that success and fame can be achieved.
The only issue is we tend to want to achieve success and/or fame based on other individuals. Use others as a marker or to motivate you but never think you have failed if you don’t measure up to what others have achieved.
Their success story isn’t yours we all are destined to have our very own success story.
You can be a successful garbage man simply because you have remained gainfully employed, provide for your family and make lots of people happy removing their stinky trash.
Being rich isn’t always about what you have in your bank account.
Being famous doesn’t mean you have to sell a million records and appear on television.
You can become famous for feeding the hungry, showing humanity, having integrity or just by being true to yourself.
The only person besides yourself that should be measuring your success is Jesus. Become famous in his eyes never mind what the world decides on what it takes to be famous.
No matter how much money you have you can’t buy your way into heaven.
All those worldly things that you worked so hard for neglecting your family and even your health will remain here on earth.
Think about that for a minute. Life can be simple and happy at the same time! Provide yourself with what you need more often than what you want. Invest in your family by giving them love and your TIME!
We all can achieve both success and fame but that depends on what you believe really matters.

Unconditional Love? HA!

If you are looking for unconditional love from a man or woman…Good Luck! Is is possible? Yes, but extremely rare.

Unconditional love comes from pets, Jesus and your children…it’s hard to find unconditional love in a partner we are too busy tearing eachother apart.

People are selfish monsters and love you more for what you can do for them then actually being in love with you. That is exactly why people divorce. Things get rocky and they bail…unconditional love means you stay no matter what. However don’t be a fool and let someone dog you out and treat you like trash that’s not love it takes TWO.

“I love you BUT, I love myself more”

After years of observation, personal experience and listening to people pour their hearts out has enlightened me on matters of the heart.

The most disheartening revelation is many people are constantly looking for someone else to love them rather than loving themselves first and end up with a broken heart.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to really be in love with who you are. When you look in the mirror you should be smiling. If you aren’t then correct it by seeking a religious system or whatever it takes to seek
self-awareness and self-love.

I actually believe that people can detect it when a person basically is unhappy with whom they are and don’t love themselves. Some have this needy look in their eyes or are clingy and that can push folks away or allow them an opportunity to go in for the kill. Seekers and destroyers are folks who look for weak individuals who depend on others for their happiness and will crush you like an insect when they get tired of you.

Be independent and love yourself then you will attract others that will love you as well.
In order for a person to mistreat, abuse and misuse us means would mean we have no self-esteem and love everyone else but ourselves.

No bones about it, the first person that tries to walk over you and take you for granted you would tell them to kiss where he sun don’t shine and remove yourself immediately.

Being fed up does not mean you never loved that idiot it’s just that you love yourself more. Learn how to say, “I love you but I love myself more”. Never allow anyone to hurt you when you have a choice. Keep your eyes open, take your heart with you but don’t forget your brain.

Your standards may be unrealistic…hmmmm?

The person we should be with is never chosen on purpose it just happens that way. We just have to let it happen and not fight it. He’s too short, she’s too fat, he doesn’t make enough money, she’s boring or he’s a fashion disaster.

In most cases,the man or woman pursues the other based purely on the physcial attraction which turns into a “sexual” realtionship.
Wait a minute, I amost forgot they are also chosen based on how deep their pockets are even if they look like Freddy Krueger! Money is traded for actually being in love and is like a disease nowdays.

There may be some things about the person you may think you can’t live with but in reality you are no better! More than likely you need to be concerned with correcting your shortcomings

We all fall short in a few areas no matter how perfect we believe we are.
Stop looking for perfection especially when you are far from it. Never believe you can change a person. Either accept them for who they are or keep it moving besides shouldn’t you be falling in love with who you met anyway?

There aren’t too many tootsie (everything rolled up into one) rolls out here so just work with what you have in front of you. People either change for the best or worst. People also either improve or become stagnant. These two observations reflect in both relationships and in life.

People aren’t that hard to figure out once you determine whether they are actually being themselves or are pretending to be God knows who. Look at their heart but never fall in love with their “potential” because they may never reach their full potential. Love who they are now!