Monthly Archives: December 2013

80/20 Rule is REAL Be Careful Before You Jump Ship…

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I have messed up enough in my life to know exactly what NOT to repeat in a relationship.

Occasionally, there are issues with me knowing exactly what to do but there will always be a learning curve in every relationship.
I strongly believe in the 80/20 rule more than ever! Proceed with caution and make sure you are not leaving a relationship for a wild sex adventure that will be short lived over a relationship with substance!

We must remember that if we are lucky enough to live long enough “Senior Citizen” is lurking around the corner. Having someone we can laugh with that just makes you happy in many ways is far more important than (My humble opinion) than how long he can hop up and down on me.

The thought of another man touching me other than “MY MAN” makes me want to vomit especially if I know in my heart that all he wants is to have sex with me and nothing more. Why bother?

I want a companion for LIFE and 80% is far better than trading all that for 20%…

Fantastic Article…

http://travismagazine.wordpress.com/2009/02/10/why-we-cheat-the-8020-rule/

 

Do I Really Know You?

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How well do you really know the people you are supposed to be so close to?
Is it silly to ask things like what’s your favorite ice cream?
I have noticed by pure observation and personal experiences; that those unknown things about a person become apparent over time and remembered only if they are truly interested or intrigued by you. I’ve often heard folks say shacking up is a bad idea but how else can you truly know if you can live under the same roof without killing (not literally) each other before marriage if you don’t “shack” up?
Do you know what makes them tick, their favorite color or experiences that happened to them that shaped them into the person they are today?
What is it that caused you to bond with this person that you can’t exactly put your finger on? I strongly believe that some friendships and sexual relationships are meant to be as we take our journey through life.
Some of those relationships whether it is sexual or platonic can be hurtful learning experiences or can leave a lasting positive impression on our life forever.
I am not judging anyone you can do whatever you want with your hello kitty and beans and frank but…
The worst thing you can do and it happens every day is to sleep with someone and you don’t know their last name or worse their REAL first name. Get out of the fast lane; it can destroy your life!
Take time out to get to know someone before you falsely believe they are your BFF or someone you can trust or have “casual’ sex with. Many times people get married or have a child with someone only to find out later that they can’t stand to breathe the same air standing in the same room together. Getting to really know someone can take a lifetime but that all depends on how much they are willing to open up to you.
I am an open book, what you see is what you get and there is nothing I have to hide.
With some folks you have to wait until the truth about who they are somehow reveals itself to you. If you are lucky a red flag will appear with warning sirens or you will listen to that gut feeling telling you something isn’t right.
Then you have folks that are beyond experts when it comes to keeping a façade going.
Keep your eyes wide open, leave a small opening, (not too big) to your heart and use your brain!
Being on defense is not a way to live your life. When approaching life daily be smart about it and learn from past experiences. Life is like a game; you win some and you will lose a lot. When you lose dust yourself off and move on…life is short so let’s make it SWEET!

What we really want…

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Exactly what is it that you want in a man or woman that will make you happy and satisfied enough to settle down?  Do they have to make loads of money or can you build together?

The biggest mistake we make is having unrealistic standards; that are mostly physical.

We almost always neglect to take in account the most important aspect of a person and that’s their heart.  Looks are important but we must remember that outer appearances can fade over time.

Here today gone tomorrow holds true to many phases in our life.

 A physical attraction is what baited us; in most cases at least. But what if they have a cute laugh, or you like the way they curl their lip up when they smile?

If you had to choose three things you wanted in a person what would it be in the exact order that you list those qualities?

Think long and hard before you decide what those three qualities would be?  For example, loyalty falls under not cheating, being your best friend, will protect and defend you etc.

My first quality would be that they love themselves which allows them to be loved and to love others.

Second quality would be a person who has a spiritual foundation and respects other religious systems.

Third quality would be loyalty.  I chose these three because it’s so broad and has so many other things that fall under each category.

I don’t need him to be perfect since I am not perfect. I need my man to be just perfect for me.

You say “I am a gentleman” “I am a lady” BUT Are you Really?

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Actions! Actions!= Proof! Proof!

Never make excuses for being a piece of sh*t.

It is what it is. Who are you trying to convince?

I can’t stand when a person makes excuses for not being a gentleman or lady.

There is no situation that should push you out of your true character; stay true to yourself!

We all fall short but don’t make it a habit…

Merry CHRISTmas!

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Merry CHRISTmas!

Thank you to all those who read my blog! You have been a true blessing and very encouraging…
France, Canada, United States, Russian Federation, Indonesia, Australia, South Africa whoever you are THANK YOU for reading my blog xoxoxoxo
Whether you celebrate the holiday or not it’s a great time of the year to be with friends and family!
A new year is just around the corner and I don’t know about you but I am super excited…I have no regrets when everything is a learning experience!
I had to make some major decisions in order to somewhat ensure that my future will be less complicated and full of JOY!
Sometimes we can be our worst enemy finding faults in everything and everybody else when the real problem is within. I prayed super hard in order to finally decide on a few things and it worked…My Daddy and Mommy along with Rachel helped me out more than they will ever know.
I am grateful for each and every comment and appreciate all of you very much.
Enjoy your day no matter what you are alive and that alone is something to be happy about…

It’s The “little” things that are really HUGE that mean so much.

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Over the years of dating different men I’ve come to realize what is important to ME.

When you tell a man that you are scared and don’t know if you can survive in this world alone…If his reply is “you’ll be ok, I am almost certain you will be just fine” verses
“I am here for you don’t you worry about doing anything alone” shouldn’t that account for something?

Can I stand on my own two feet?
Indeed I can!
What the heck do you think I was doing beforehand but it’s still scary out here. Diseases and the economy is worse than a horror movie…

It’s cold and rainy and you happened to park far and he asked so he knows how far you have parked, you look at his car and wait for him to offer you a ride to your car and nothing happens.

The man that truly is looking out for your best interest would offer you a ride to your car without you having to ask. It’s not a warm sunny day!!!!

You have two huge bags and he never asks whether you need assistance and never takes one of the bags just let’s you carry them…a real man that cares will tell you to hand over both bags and would never let you carry a bag when his hands are empty.

Most folks may think… “why not ask?”
That’s just the same as me asking him “why can’t you be a gentleman?”

Well, maybe this proves nothing but in my world actions are real talk is cheap.

If a man can’t open the car door for you he’s not concerned if you get in the car first and safely anything could happen.

How can you get in the car start it up and watch a woman get in?
That’s the same as me cooking dinner, fixing my plate, sitting down eating then look at him like ummmm?
You can fix your own plate.

A man that cares about you wants to spend time with you outside the bedroom and if the only time you see him is between the sheets you need a reality check.

There are so many red flags that seem minuscule but are indications of what type of man you are dealing with.

Does it mean he’s a bad person? Not at all…he’s just not what I am looking for. I need to be shown not told how much you care. Hearing it accounts for about 20% showing me which is proof accounts for 80%.

Then we find a man that does everything our heart desired BUT somehow he still doesn’t measure up?!?!

Hmmmm? Maybe we are the problem not him.

Liar…Liar Pants on Fire!

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I will never understand why people lie but I guess it’s not for me to judge them. However; if the lie directly affects me there is a problem. The twist to that is we can serve lies but can’t take it when it’s served on a plate to us.

 Besides, who am I to demand that someone not lie to me; when I may not always be the most honest person myself?

Most of the time we make a lie that someone tells us our problem when not every lie is meant to hurt us but sometimes protect us from the truth that may rip our soul apart. We think we want the truth when in reality “Can you handle the truth?”

Truth gives you options and most of all a CHOICE! Lies hold you captive and can sometimes be hurtful and selfish if a person is trying to build themselves up to be something they aren’t or lead you to believe that they love you.

Lies are awful but exactly how dreadful is a lie? Well, that all depends on the context, reason or purpose behind the lie…White lie or big fat lie a lie is a LIE!

My purpose is NOT to justify liars but try to understand exactly if there really is a valid reason to lie? Isn’t it better to just plead the 5th?

A few folks have looked me dead in my eyes and told the biggest lies you could ever imagine and the entire time I already knew the truth. What a total blower! I had hard facts but never said a word just listened in total disgust.

I could give a few examples of what I feel are justifiable lies but why when it’s so hard to prove that any lie is truly acceptable or is it?

In the end if the truth ever come to light what exactly have you proved by telling a lie?

Missed Opportunity

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A missed opportunity is exactly that nothing more or less. When you book a flight and you miss it you can never catch that flight again. You can receive a credit or reschedule the flight you missed but you will NEVER be able to catch that plan leaving that airport because it has taken flight.

Can you radio the captain and request him to turn around to come back and allow you to board the plane? I highly doubt it unless you are the POPE or the President. Life is the exact same way…you miss out on an opportunity more than likely it will never come again.

You can’t take a rain check on so many things in life but for some reason we want to believe that the world will stop for us until we are “ready”.

Don’t Waste My Time…Thank you!

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Why do most people take life for granted? Why do we allow others to hurt us and waste our time?
We get comfortable and expect things to manifest; when in fact it takes action not wishing and hoping.
If you are at a standstill long enough eventually mental dust will accumulate so you have to dust yourself off and keep it moving. Never put your life on hold for someone to “decide” that they want to be with you with no projected time frame to bounce.
Because life has a deadline you must give deadlines to yourself to achieve goals or make lifestyle changes. There is nothing wrong with telling someone that they have 60-days to get their act together or you are going to throw them out like Monday morning trash.
Anyone that feels like they have the right to waste your time playing basketball with your heart has no respect for you or your feelings.
Why can’t most people realize that life is precious and not met to gamble away as if you have 9 lives?
For some strange reason folks have in their minds that they will live FOREVER! Well, I am here to inform you that we all will expire one day that’s a FACT.
Is it morbid to talk about death? Death is a part of life and REALITY…IDK…just seems if people actually grabbed the whole death thing maybe they would take life more seriously. Who knows but it’s really annoying when someone has no problem wasting my time and it’s disgusting when I allow them to waste my time.

1 Million Thoughts…

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Today my mind was all over the place. It’s like my life flashed before me!

I have never had so many thoughts rush through my mind at once in my entire life. If I knew any better those thoughts would lead me to believe that I may die any day now.

Honestly, it feels like there is a race against time for me and there is no more time to waste to not  do whatever it is that will allow me to enjoy my life…there isn’t another moment to spare.

That’s exactly what scares me not knowing when my last days here on earth will come to an end…time wasted is not a good way for me to be fulfilled knowing that my life was in vain.

Is there anything wrong with taking responsibility for your own happiness; finally realizing that you can no longer sacrifice your happiness for the sake of others every waking hour?

My soul is drained; my eyes have shed enough tears now it’s time to enjoy me. Somehow it feels like I’ve lost myself and if I don’t take time for me, love myself more and live with no regrets; I surely will die.

I will be here physically but not mentally…