Ok, like seriously, how long do you expect a woman to wait around for you to marry her?
Five years is way too long but hey that’s just my opinion since I was dumb enough to do it.
As 2014 is fast approaching; I decided to end whatever it is we had for so long.
Most folks that I asked to give their opinion on this mess, said,”Why should it matter as long as you are happy”?
Well, that’s exactly it, I am not happy knowing that he got all this milk and cookies for FREE!
There are details that can’t be shared in a public forum however there were SEVERAL factors that assisted me with making this final decision.
In order for me to discuss the topics on my blog guess what? I had to go through it myself!!!!! Hated it…but hope that my life experiences will STOP someone else from making a HUGE mistake.
Is it dreadful to be in a long-term relationship if both parties aren’t considering marriage heck NO but it has to be mutual?
Dude! Don’t pull the “Will you marry me?” when I have one butt cheek out the door…that is just WRONG in all sorts of ways.
Being married for 10 years previously sort of makes me not in a rush to run towards the Alter but if I am playing house for 5 years hmmm? IDK just does not seem right.
No, I will not change my mind nor my heart…my mind is made up. Being an old maid does not scare me…being alone does not scare me although; I am totally too hot for that. LOL
I will not date anyone that isn’t a potential husband considering I am 43 not 23…
Patrice McCullough 
You said some very nice things about him in your comment. As a lady in your age group I want to say he’s a keeper. I may not know all the facts but you have a lot in him that’s great. None of us are perfect but he has good quality along with your quality that can built a strong foundation in life. I hope you stay and work it out. I can promise whatever the other issues are can be fixed. You and this give have five years together now let’s say you leave it’s going to be about a year before you date again. Two years your 45 and say this guy isn’t ready to get married now that another two years gone and let’s say after that you run into the players and the ones that say they want to be your husband but are only trying to get in your panties now you another two years that’s pass and now before you know it your like wow I could of stay with him get married and that would be four years you and him could be married and 9 years together as a couple. Sister if he wants to marry you give him that chance and make it right. I even saw in your comments you have your degree congrats on that. I know that was a stressful period in your life. I bet you said the same thing I said when I was in college I wish I had right after high school but hey better late than never. I know he was stressed when you were stress doing your school days also. Can’t wait to hear from you.
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He is a work in progress but if he’s trying give him that helping hand and you two make it right.
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Great Minds,
I want to take a moment to thank you for reading my blog and most importantly responding…You are appreciated…
Don’t take this the wrong way please but some things are better said with directness. You and others who suggested that I stay don’t have much to work on so I understand that part. I just wish that you and everyone else would try to understand that I believe it is wrong to have a woman perform wifely duties for SEVERAL years and not marry her. I feel stupid, used and disrespected…Now if most woman have low standards and don’t mind playing house for a decade or more; that’s good for them but not for me. I learned from my situation and will NEVER allow any man to keep me around for several years and not marry me.
So what if he wants to marry me now…I threatened to leave him that is the only reason why he opened his eyes. Never mind the years of all the other things endured that hurt my heart and I took it like a solider.
A history means nothing to me if it’s filled with holes that we can’t build a strong foundation on.
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Patrice I agree with you. Yes you perform wife duties as well. I’m pretty sure he perform husband duties also. If he didn’t you would not have stick around for five years. We may not have much to work on but I can give you some of my experience from my 46 years on earth I played the same role as you for six years so I know where your coming from. With this guy I had to deal with not be satisfied sexually and I had to deal with him not keeping a job I had to deal with him not wanting to attend church. The lies he told. He was a drinker a smoker the list goes on but I had a heart to heart with him. Thru all that this man cherish the ground I walked on. A lot of us have forgot how to communicate as humans. I told him all the the things I wanted and if he can’t change his ways it’s over. Yes sister I been there and that list of his wrongs go far and deeper. I can attest to you in a lot of ways. If you have a man that wants to make it work work with him and make it right. How does he feel about a divorce? Have you ever told him if we don’t get married I leaving you. I hate to say it but some men don’t be thinking most of the time 😉 I saw your comment you said your next marriage there will be no divorce. How about you meet a man get married and he wants a divorce? But remember your not getting one in your words. This guy you have now he cherish the ground you walk on how do I know because he called you perfect. I bet he’s the type that doesn’t believe in a divorce. I married that man he change and got hisself together. There are so many classes out there that can help you and him grow and become closer. Before you close or think about closing that chapter have a heart to heart. I’m pretty sure your like me talk to him look him in the eyes we don’t text to communicate we have face to face talks we are grown adults. To my old self I never knew they has sex improvement classes and I will tell you it works. The church help him with the lies now I can even pay him to lie 🙂 please don’t take this the wrong way girlly but I’ve been there done that. It’s not easy but who wants it easy when you struggle together and have heart ach and pain that makes you stronger as a couple . Can’t wait to hear from you.
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Thank you for your response you seem to be very kind. I’ve struggled all my life and I am tired. Life is not that complex people make it complex…If I was so “perfect” I would have been his wife long ago.
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I understand there is a lot of love between you too. I’m not sure what type of man he is but I’ll tell you something my parents and grandparents told me which is true. If you love this man and he loves you the love you both have will conquer all problems that exist. Walk hand in hand any obstacle that comes in y’all way will be diminish by the power of love and god. I know your hurt but if he’s willing to step up to the plate let him. If he cheated or got another woman pregnant let his ass go. I read the things you said about him that was so sweet. He has a lot you can work with to build a strong marriage. I don’t know the whole story between you too but you and him have all the basics down take that next step and make it right you and him are built for each other.
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Patrice please don’t take my comment the wrong way 🙂 I pretty sure you experience some of my problems. Hope to hear from you soon.
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Great Minds I am very open to all comments wherever opinionated or factual. I love to know how others view things!
I learn from everyone on my blog as I hope you all learn too 😉
You made valid points and didn’t communicate anything wrong…I just have a threshold when it comes to certain things in life.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read and comment only blog.
Straight from my Heart, Patrice
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Thanks I’m glad I made some valid points and so did you. As a black woman we put a lot of pressure on our men. I hope you think about what I said. I know your smart intelligent woman. Sometimes we are so mad and numb we forget a lot how much we love that person and how good they are to us and how they treats us.
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It seems to me you and him may have had a covenant relationship. That’s the best relationship you can have. I want to see all my sisters happy. You give some great advice. I know your wonder why does everyone want me to stay with this man. Patrice I said the same thing when I was going thru my problems. I was like I can’t tell the full story because I wanted to protect his privacy. I started to think hard. Can these people be gods angel telling me to stay should I ignore what they are telling me? I said hey maybe they see or feel something I don’t since I’m so angry and numb. I stayed and to the day he is a blessing Patrice. Sometime Our blessing are right in our face but we let all the negative and numbness and anger over power us and they could end our world of happiness. You did wife duties and he did the husband duties all you have to do it make it official and he will guide you the rest of the way.
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Hello Patrice I’m a man going thru the same situation. I have a ring but haven’t finish paying for it. What can I do so she want leave me. I love this woman. I haven’t ate or got in sleep in the past week. I’m stressed and I lost my job today because I wasn’t focus. I really need some advice. I need this woman she is my world.
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Hello Ralph,
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry to hear that you have lost sleep and worst lost your job!
I pray things work out for you and you find a new job FAST!
I can’t tell you what to do but ask her to stay. If she declines there is not much you can do.
Losing your job is not a good way to keep her or get her back.
I am certain you love her but seems like you need to love yourself more my dear…please eat even if you have to force yourself.
Please never make a human being your world. Put Jesus first everything else will fall into place.
You will be in my prayers Ralph.
****Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.*****
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.
Straight from my Heart, Patrice
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Hello blogger I came across your blog from my friends computer. It amazing that so many of us have the same problems. I put my girlfriend thru the same thing 😦 just last night she came back in my life the most happiest moment in my life. As a man that has learn from his mistake we are getting married today I’m not making her wait any longer cause I don’t want to lose her. I’m pretty sure your angry but if he’s a good man and has all those good qualities I would say make it work. I’m from the outside looking in so I can understand his hurt and your pain. The bigger picture would be work on what other problems you too may have. You can be married without rings that could come later. You may feel you don’t have the desire to marry him and that understandable she told me the same thing but the love is there and love will conquer all. Make it work by the way this post was the reason she left me. But she came back I want to tell you make it work if he’s willing to work at you do the same. I’m pretty sure you did your wife duties and he did his husband duties as well. If if work than it will only get back when you reunite with him. Hope to hear from you.
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Simple Man,
Thank you for reading my blog. Exactly! It is amazing how so many of us share the SAME issues…that is why I don’t get caught up in “Why you put your biz all on a blog”….who cares it is called life.
Thank you for pointing that out brother :))
I was touched by your comment “I put my girfriend thru the same thing”…expand on that if you don’t mind.
She came back? That is beautiful….she thought it out that’s for sure! Good for her…
You got married oh WOW…I am soooooo happy for you both!!! Get it..Yesss! Wooohoooo! Congrats and God Bless!!!
I told him the exact thing that we could have been married without rings they could come later…I read Glenda Spencer’s story and broke down crying while in the car with TW. I wanted him to hear what love is really about.
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I didn’t think about getting married without rings until she left me. She point that out to me. I must say I’m just like TW. I hope you find it in your heart to make it work with him. Trust me I’m a work in progress. I started going to church today I join a church I confessed all my sins and I admit I need help with lying. I had no idea they have classes that will help you to stop lying. I just thank god she came back. To be honest she came back she said after she read your comment that you would stay and make it work with TW. She said that was very encouraging and a inspirational and you showed her that with a good woman beside a man he can change and become a better man. I want to thank you and TW because you both saved my relationship. Now I hope you and him get married this week. Give that man his chance at change and becoming a better person with you beside him.
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That is good news. Thank you for sharing 🙂
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Good morning Patrice I’m simple man girlfriend. This post shine a lot of light into my life and relationship I had with him. I really evaluated my relationship with him and I do love him and he’s not perfect but he is stable and willing to work out his wrongs and make changes to make me happy. How could a woman pass that up? I did all the things you did cook clean wash clothes etc. I have him all these cookies and milk for free. But he turn around and said I played your husband as well wash the car got it fix paid our rent and helped you when you need it and I was there when no one else was. He made a great point. I told him I was hurt angry. He told me whatever you need me to do so I can fix this tell me. Girl I was so numb and hurt I wasn’t trying to hear him. But I read your blog and the comments and it hit so close to home. I see how a lot of them encourage you to stay so I took about a two weeks break from him we talked and I came back in his life last night. I feel so refresh and happy we are going to focus on us and make it right. I wanted to share this story with you and I hope this bring you and him back together. You and him have built a strong foundation and that’s a huge accomplishment. Thanks for your help and hope you and him work things out. If you were in his shoes you would want that chance. Let’s get it girl.
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Please don’t take offense to my response. Pretty Please 🙂
I mean no harm but I am VERY direct at times…I have a heart of Gold…7 years is too long to just hang out with hopes of one day being his wife. Some folks are totally fine playing wife and NEVER getting married.
That is great. The woman that would pass that up is me. I am not on his clock anymore.
If you have more years to waste making things right by all means go for it. What works for you will not work for me. I have one life to live and if he can’t make his mind up then bye-bye!
Oh no, that will never do the fact that he used reverse phycology on you…LOL
He played your husband…that makes his actions right? I guess it does in your world not mine. It was up to him to stop the playing house marathon if he was serious not you unless you left.
If I were in his shoes I would never disrespect a good woman by allowing her to play house I would have made her my wife then we would not be where we are today.
Thank you for your comment I appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to respond. God Bless!
Straight from my Heart, Patrice
***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.
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Hello Ms Patrice girly I love this blog OMG excellent idea to create this blog. I don’t know where to start you talked about so much that I’m going thru. This topic is so fresh in my head I have to speak on this. November of 2013 I end my relationship after seven years of being with this man. He always told me he would marry me but never took that step. Yes in my heart I know he loves me and wants to be with me but I wanted more from him. It hurt so bad Patrice because when I was leaving he asked me to marry him 😦 I was beyond hurt it’s a feeling in can’t explain. I left but he was in my mind I missed him at night I miss all the little things we did. My mom called me over to her house and we talked. She said Keisha we are emotional creatures. Your upset angry mad etc. she told Keisha you love this man and he loves you there is a strong bond you both share he’s your best friend and you are his. She mad a lot of good points and help me realize I could make it work. I couldn’t tell my mom the whole story but I called him to meet me and we talked and I told him how I really felt and what I expected from him. I asked if he could provide the changes I wanted from him. This was the first time he was ever honest with me he said it will take time but I will change because of you. He started going to church and I started to see a change I wanted to make sure that change wasn’t just a show but he has really changed. I know how you feel but I don’t know your full story but put your emotions and anger to the side and make it work girl. We all deserve and want that chance to make it right. Bless him with that chance and watch how god bless the relationship. Enjoy your weekend hope you have time to respond back. We let our emotions get the best of us we are emotional creatures keep that in mind.
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Hello Keisha 🙂
I am super excited that you love my blog! No, really I am…
I thought it was a great idea as well although some folks think it was horrible for me be an open book.
I am not ashamed of my life or who I am ….so there you have it…most importantly what others think about me…so Thank you for your support my dear.
7 years! You got me beat…LOL
They all say they want to be with you but actions speak louder than words…Why did you have to leave for him to ask?!! That burns me up…hey now that makes me angry! He said he would change for you? WOW that is deep…I like that very much!!
I am happy things worked out for you….I wish you both the best of luck.
My emotions are in check this I promise….
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What’s up Patrice please don’t take my comment the wrong way. I can understand you being mad. But you did your part as a woman and he handle his as a man if he didn’t you would been left plus you love this guy. Your angry and women are emotional calm down and make it work. Why give up on six years when you both have built a strong foundation. You said some nice thing about him so I know he didn’t cheat in you. Is there another man you want to be with are you cheating on him. Why give up on what you have with him unless he says no I don’t want to marry you.
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Hello…
I would never take any comment the wrong way but I will respond accordingly. As long as you keep it clean and respectful say what you feel my dear. I take all things written into consideration but it all boils down to my happiness.
Let me clear something up…I am not MAD. I just simply made a decision that was best for me.
I did my part as a woman you are correct; but he did not do his part or we would have been married years ago. I was not about to ask him to marry me…no way! 🙂
I am not angry nor emotional about this anymore…was that a phase that has since passed over 2 years ago. Why give up six years? Because those 6 years of MY LIFE was more than enough time for him to decide.
There are lots of nice guys out here…I don’t know what he did…but cheating is not the only deal breaker. I made my decision without another man being involved besides if he’s so great why would I allow another man in the picture? That would be stupid.
Finally, after waiting 6 long years maybe I don’t want to get married anymore.
Straight from the Heart, Patrice
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Patrice It’s hard to find someone that gets to know you on that level that he has gotten to know you on and gel with you. I think that’s why a lot of people want to see you work it out. I know it’s hard because none of us knows the full story but you have something special that could lead to something beautiful if you work things out.
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I want to start off by saying hello Patrice how are you? I see a lot of people have commented on your relationship. I will admit we don’t know know the full story of your relationship but I will give you some of my experience that I’ve gone thru. I have played house for six years and I gave it all up because I didn’t get married. He want to marry me but I was so hurt at the time I left. I dated after him ran into the players the ones that talk a great game but no action next thing I know it was another six years of dating and still not married. I regret I didn’t make it work with him being that he knew me and treated me like a queen. Yes we had other issues but we could of work it out. That’s the biggest mistake I made. I hope this sheds some light in your life and help you stay. I know just because it turn out like this for me doesn’t mean it will be the same for you. Judging by your comments about him he has a lot of positive things going and that’s a great start and foundation plus you have five years. Plus a lot of us agree you should stay and make it work. Give it another shot and make the corrections to make you and his future bright together.
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Hello Tiffany,
I am doing very well, thank you for asking. I hope you are well too.
Yes, lots of comments on my relationship; I was very surprised!
Exactly, nobody knows the full story and to be honest never will.
I have put enough out there and will not share anything else that does not pertain to only me.
6 years you did the same? You say he wanted to marry you? I am a tad confused.
Sorry you ran into players but not sure how you wouldn’t know beforehand and never give them a chance to play you; at lease at our age 🙂
Wow! Another 6 years of dating and still not married, well; that sucks but it’s called life.
I’d rather be alone than play house for 6 years. WE were treated like second rate Queens my dear. What part can’t you understand? A man will show you are his Queen by making you his wife…being his wife means you will be treated like a Queen and be his REAL Queen.
You are correct, your story will not be my story…and if it happened to turn out that way I’d be totally fine with it.
I appreciate you taking the time out to respond and share your personal life experience very much.
The folks that suggest that we work it out do not have to nor did they endure what I had to for 6 years.
Swallowed my pride and thought to myself everyday…”Why am I not good enough to be his wife?.”
He knows me like the back of his hand and knew I was on my way out so he scrambled to get a ring for an emergency patch….I will not settle to be married to a man because he was under pressure of losing me.
Straight from my Heart, Patrice
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Thanks for your response. He got you a ring the day you left yes that’s a last minute patch. Why would throw those six years away? If he’s the type of guy you said he is. Deep down in your heart right now you don’t miss him or think about him. You connected to this man on a high level. Could this be a test from god to see if both you and him are strong enough to work it out.
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No ring. In life we make choices…it’s not throwing 6 years it’s called taking a break…or moving on. I will always care about him that’s a fact.
Test from God?…sorry love God has nothing to do with this…If God were in this we would not have been shacking up in the first place.
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Sorry are you sure he was under pressure or was it because he loves you.
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If he was not under pressure he would have asked for my hand in marriage before 2014. We met in 2008.
I didn’t care if the ring had a crumb diamond.
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I’m a 48 year old woman I left my man four years ago because I let my emotions get the best of me. I’m not going to give you a history lesson here but as woman to woman we are very emotional please don’t let your emotions ruin what could be the man that god has blessed you with. You may think he’s telling you to leave him but that’s the devil who wants to see you unhappy. Misery loves company lady along with the devil please remember that.
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Hello Tara,
What’s wrong with being emotional; afterall you are human. 4 years and you still aren’t married? I wish I had made my decision the first 2-years.
I am no spring chicken so any man that dates me needs to know it’s because he’s a potential husband.
Who the heck dates for a decade and is ok with it? NOT ME! My boyfriend at 43 sounds likes puppy love in comparison to My Husband; this is my opinion only.
If I were in my early 20’s or 30’s fine we can play but at my age; I have no more time to waste. I’d rather keep my legs closed and save myself for my future husband.
Tara, I have to share with you that my life hasn’t been a cake walk and it has nothing to do with him. I make my decisions based on FACTS. If I listened to my heart my life would be miserable!
Being emotional is something you have no control over but keeping a balance is what you do have control over.
I think “objectively” and because of this; I am a happy person.
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I can understand were you are coming from. Did you at lease try to seek counseling? There is nothing wrong like you said being emotional that’s what we do as humans but sometimes like we both know emotions cause cause us to make a huge mistake. We you seek counseling than the chance of making a mistake would be none.
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Tara,
In my heart and deep in my soul; I know that I am doing the right thing. There are things that I need and will not settle to live without for a lifetime.
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Hello Patrice I’m a woman that went thru this same problem two years ago. The only difference with my situation is he told me lies and he did not take care of home. I stayed prayed and thru the eyes and power of god he made me happy in my relationship and blessed us both in ways I thought was unimaginable. You may be unhappy and upset but you can make it work.
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Hello Tee,
We all tell lies big deal…but not taking care of home is a deal breaker for sure…What worked for you won’t work for me. I am happy things worked out for you both.
****Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.****
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.
Straight from my Heart, Patrice
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Good afternoon Patrice hope all is well your way. I had to comment on this topic. I’m just turn 50 years old and I’m only going to share my experience with you on this topic because I have gone thur it and still living thru the mistake. I dated a guy for about five years and we never go married. I was in love with this guy and he loved me as well. He didn’t make me happy. He told lies and he was not a man of god. Our sex life took a bad turn. To sum it up I has unhappy and numb. I left him it took me a year before started to date again. Dating is so hard out here in the DMV area. I came across the players the ones that was married but wanted me on the side. I came across the ones that’s living a double life you name it I came across I every type of guy. I got tricked a few times gave up the goods and that’s all they wanted. Before I knew it I was turning 50 and still unhappy. One day I was at church to my surprise my ex boyfriend was a member of the church and he was active in the church life. One day after church we had brunch we started talking to my surprise Patrice he was the man for me I was so numb that I ignored the signs that god was sending me telling me he the one. All my signals came from strangers just like I’m a stranger to you. I would tell people about my relationship and I had more people tell me to stay make it work go to church as a couple take counseling class and focus on your relationship with him. I was just saying he’s not the one for me he doesn’t make me happy I was even telling myself we are not sexual compatible but he had to make me happy in some way shape or form because I was with him for five years. Patrice I finally realize all the stuff I said I was unhappy about and had problems could of been worked out. It’s turns out leaving him was my biggest mistake. As I think about the decision I made all I need was a break to think about the relationship and find a way to fix it. We maybe strangers but if 80 or 90 percent of strangers are telling you to stay they all can’t be wrong. It’s best to get advice from a neutral party than your friends or people you think are your friends. I’m not saying because it turn out for me like this it may turn out for you the same way that’s not my point. I think you should try other ways to make it work. As humans we give up on relationship instead of seeking help to see if it can be fix. Did you or him seek professional help for the problems? Do you try getting help from your church? Did you attend church together as a couple and both prayed to god for help? My advice get a neutral party seek what the problem is and if it can be fix. God blessed five years with him now get the answers for those five years. As women in your age group promise me you will seek some help before you throw the towel in. This could be a test from god to see how strong you both are if you will give it all up with out asking for help this could be his finial test before he bless you both as husband and wife. Get a neutral party involved. Hope I did not bore you with this comment but I hope you respond back to me.
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Hello Sandy T,
Al l is well. I hope the same for you. I am happy you commented on this topic. Sorry to hear that you are living with a decision you made that did not turn out as you expected.
But if he did not make you happy how was it a mistake?
Dating is the DMV area is like playing Russian roulette so I understand exactly what you mean. But that does not mean you have to settle. When I dated in the past I tried really hard to not have sex unless they proved worthy…most kept it moving because after the 3rd month they were fed up.
I pay close attention to all signs people will SHOW you what they are all about your eyes just have to be open. Have I been fooled before? Of course!!! But not anymore….if he’s not showing action then I will leave it’s that simple.
I totally agree with you in every way…all that you said makes perfect sense…but it all boils down to what I want to do not what others think I should do.
WE did not try to get help from the church…he told me one day that he was waiting for a call back from FBCG but they NEVER called back.
Sandy, all the help we needed was right there in the house and that is us two. I communicated to him what I was unhappy about and nothing was done in years…why should I have to go through extremes for someone who isn’t at the very least my fiancée?
WE attended church together a few times but we work so much it was nearly impossible. You did not bore me with your comment my dear….in fact I really appreciate you taking time out of your day to respond.
Straight from my Heart, Patrice
***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.
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I attend that church also I just finish taken my last new members on Thursday are you both members of the church? I’m waiting on the church to get back to me also it’s been about a month I haven’t heard back from them they are very busy. Talk to him see if you both can find a meeting point in the middle or if he can step up to the plate like you want him too. It’s better late than never
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Hello Patrice how are you? Love the blog and topics. This is a hard decision cause it could be a good thing to leave or it could turn out to be the biggest mistake you have ever made. My suggestion to you would be seek counseling to make sure it’s not anger or your just you going thru your emotions. Please what ever you do don’t tell your friends get a neutral party to decide if you don’t want to pay for counseling check with your church they have classes for that.
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Good Morning,
I am doing fantastic…thanks for asking! I hope you are doing well too 🙂
Thank you for reading my blog that means the world to me and taking time out of your day to comment.
I thought about my decision for two (2) long years and it was a struggle. Every time I thought it could work something happened to show me that it was time to move on.
I pay attention to sign more than ever before and my gut feelings…I prayed on it…
In life we have to take chances and if this is a huge mistake then I will have to live with it. I will not seek counseling with a man that is not my fiancée nor my husband that’s just silly to me.
Straight from my Heart, Patrice
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I understand that but you said he got you a ring. Take a few counseling classes and see if you and him are meant to be together a few classes want hurt you or him. That way you both can open up to some that professional and are neutral in both of you lives.
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NO ring…it’s in the store. NO ring will patch things up…unless we can press rewind on our relationship.
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Hello Patrice how in shock to read this post. I’ve had the pleasure of meet him. I felt the chemistry between you two when both came around. I envy the relationship in a good way.
So once I met him I knew he was the one. You use to always speak so positive about him. I just want to say I hope you and him make it work because there was something very special between you too. I will admit a lot of your friends hated that he love you the way he do. Patrice I’m going to stay anonymous for now but I encourage to find a way to make it work. There is something extra special between you too.
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Hello Mystery Friend; who is actually no friend of mine…My friends call me or text.
I had to edit out one line simply because there is no woman alive that has not been mistreated by a man in some way…no matter the intensity.
The difference between me and many other women is I am NOT ashamed to tell the world what I have experienced with a man. Most females are ashamed and embarrassed to come forward I am not.
What you saw my mystery friend was a strong friendship between us…we are really good friends and love each other beyond measures. What you did not see is what went on behind closed doors.
You know what’s funny? People from the outside always think things are so great when they have no freaking clue. Thank you for your kind words but I need to do what’s best for me and not tell the entire world all HIS business; I’ve shared enough.
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Did he just get the ring or has he been paying on it for a few months? I know your heart belongs to him in time things will come full surface with you too.
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He’s still paying on it.
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Patrice you both can make right. The break I told did me some good I really love that man. Give him the chance. Turn that 5 years until forever happily married with him. The problems you have can they be fixed?
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Thank you Tiffany.
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We wanna see a picture of the ring. If you has to sum up your relationship with him what would you say?
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Tiffany,
No pictures sorry; I don’t have the ring. Your question requires much thought…sum it up huh?
“A learning experience that I will never forget”
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Patrice I will say this if two people are in love they will do whatever it takes to make it work. I can tell you don’t love him. Why take a break? Why not go get married tomorrow? Why are you not going to get counseling? You ladies always want a man that’s doesn’t cheat and treat you right now you have one and giving up so easy. It like you want a rich man with a big stick and for him to be faithful to you. One thing I will say your not going to get everything in one man. Why don’t you make it work?
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Hello Patrice five years wtf. There is a lot of that going on in every community. Glad you brought that to the forefront. I’ve read about 85% of your blog and I agree with some and I disagree. But over all keep up the good work. I’m glad he step up and got you a ring even thro he’s paying on it that still shows a lot about his character. Better late than never 😉 I was in his shoes ten years ago so I know the confusion and hurt and pain he’s going thru. Calling mom crying can’t focus at work I’ve done that not eating losing so much weight you start to look like a crack head lol Staying up thinking about you etc. I know the feeling I’m pretty sure your heart broken crying when your alone upset angry and missing him thinking about him all at once. Wondering if I should make it work or just leave. I will tell you this just because your not married or engaged doesn’t mean you should or can’t take counseling classes as couples therapy. Me and wife got married and five years into the marriage I started to realize something’s about her and she started to realize something’s about me that wasn’t right. Let’s not forget we dated and lived under the same roof for seven years. We took marriage counseling and all. So we both decided to go to a couples class. Patrice I’ve learn so much about this woman that did not know who she was before that class. She learned so much about me also that is surprise the hell out of her. You can live and be married for 10 plus years and don’t know your mate. I want to tell you take a few of those classes because it will help you and him. There are things you have bottled up inside you that you held onto from your early childhood that could be effecting you and the relationship and the same goes for him. When you have a neutral party involved everything comes out because they are not your friends they want go back and talk about it they want judge you two it will be just you him and the counselor. I would really suggest you look into it because we all think god gives us signs to leave a person or we figure we are unhappy and we are not sexually compatible after a few of our counseling session the sex got better I think we connect on a higher level and he’s not the one and why am I trying to fit a circle into a square hole. When in reality there are issues deep in ourselves that we forget about that’s damaging you and him. I hope I’m making some type of sense here if so I would love a feed back from you’ve if not I’ll figure out another way to reword it so you can understand me better.
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Does anyone know if Ms McCULLOUGH still uses this blog and responds back? I comment to your boyfriend TW but he hasn’t posted anything yet
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This is my blog not TW’s
Good Morning Mark,
Most people don’t respond at all so give me some credit. The amount of comments is overwhelming and my response percentage is pretty darn high. Chill with the all CAPS thanks buddy.
I work 7 days a week. If you look at the time stamps on my most recent post/responses to other comments you will have the answer to your question.
TW will NOT respond. He made a special appearance and that’s it. This is my blog not his.
Hope that clears things up for you.
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Mark,
Thank you for reading my blog. You do know that you don’t have to agree with me? That is fine…but that’s like me telling you that you don’t like a certain flavor of ice cream when in fact you do.
How can I tell you that you like vanilla when you really like butter pecan?
Same difference when it comes to my approach when dealing with relationships.
What makes total logical sense to you makes no sense at all to me. Does that mean you are wrong? Not at all… Both you and I have the right to feel a certain way about anything.
I would never tell anyone that I disagree with how they feel about a certain situation it’s clearly rude and closed minded. You must be open to all approaches then choose what you like best…never shoot down the other ideas.
What you must realize is that how we view life depends on many factors that are not limited to your life experiences alone that shape who we are and what we will TOLERATE.
Again, I appreciate you taking time to not only read my blog but respond with such detail.
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Sorry about that didn’t mean to get you upset. I didn’t pay attention to the details. Take your time to respond back I hope you understand my my comment would love some feed back
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I am not upset at all…I never get upset I would rather spam the comment since life is too short for nonsense. Why do I have to be upset? Why would I not understand your comment I comprehend very well.
You are passive-aggressive and that is totally fine with me…I can deal with your type.
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Good afternoon blogger how is your day going? Mark I agree with you 100% your whole comment made a lot of sense. I’m feeling the same way as Patrice and I’m so glad I took the time out to read this topic and all the comments. I will agree I’m been with my man for eight years and he said he would marry me. I’m going to tell him we can do justice of the peace and get rings later. I didn’t realize that when we are upset and pull back from a person it effects our sex life now I understand why I wasn’t being satisfied by him sexually. I’m going to stay and make this work. He has stop lying to me and he has stop going out all the time and hanging out late at night. Thanks blogger and mark you both have help me make a decision. If I had left that would of been the biggest mistake of my life. It’s hard to find a man that wants to work with you when there is a problem most of the shut down and don’t say anything and are not willing to compromise with you. I have a hard working man that loves me and my family and spoils me that would do anything to make it work
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Good Morning Dawn,
My day is going well and I hope yours is as well. Thank you for reading my blog and most importanly responding. Mark made good points for you not me.
I am not going through all that for a boyfriend sorry!
Espeically if 5-10 years have passed and we aren’t at the very least engaged. As I said before, it could have been a ring out the bubble gum machine… Man up! Stop making excuses…Justice of the peace like you said enough excuses…rings can come later…
Eight years is a long time to be with one man and not married…how would you know if it’s hard to find a man that wants to work with you when there are problems when you have been with your current “boyfriend” for eight years?
He said he would marry you and eight years have since passed…OK! I don’t get that part at all…why do we hang around for so long?
“why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
I don’t want to marry a liar but hey that’s just me.
Real Men don’t LIE you have to accept them for who they are or else.
The sex part well that is another issue since we are not supposed to be having premartial sex anyway.
A man that truly loves you will marry you and treat you like a real Queen. Spoiling you just keeps you around longer.
I wish you the best…
Straight from The Heart, Patrice
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I understand but truth be told we all lie. No one can say they haven’t told a lie in the pass 60 days. We all sin that is correct but man want to have a church wedding I just asked him let do justice of the peace and he’s on his way to get me from work we are going to get married. A lot of men don’t think like that. So if you bring it to his attention and he doesn’t marry you than I can say leave but hey this just what I see. Have you ever lie to your man or kept a secret from him that would hurt his feeling?
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Hello Dawn,
Thank you for responding I really appreciate you sharing your story.
You are correct we all lie…That is obvious.
We all lie…but when you become a habitual liar it damages trust beyond repair. We all lie but when you lie to someone you are supposed to love that is NOT the same thing.
I am not saying to not marry that man do what makes YOU happy.
Congrats and know that marriage does not fix everything.
Straight from the Heart, Patrice
“You Can’t Tell Me How To Feel”
“Follow Your Heart & I Will Follow Mine”
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Mark brother that was so well put. I agree with you 100%. Sis how are you I see we still trying to make you stay. I think the break with make you both appreciate each other more and realize how much he means to you and how much you mean to him. Yes mark you are right my sis is spoil he spoiled her.
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James I thought about it; I wasn’t spoiled he did some of the things men are supposed to do for their woman.
I am doing great thanks trader 🙂
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Damn mark brother I can’t say anything else you hit it on nose with that comment. If a woman doesn’t want to go to counseling she doesn’t want a future with that man.
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Frank,
Opinions are welcomed on my page even from Mark. You both have a right to feel that way but I don’t think I should need a third party involved.
It takes three…Me, Him & God…that is it.
Most imnportantly if both parties don’t want it to work what good is counseling anyway but a waste of money and time. If I were married then maybe that would be something to consider if all else fails which I doubt. When your foundation is built on Christ then not being married after several years would never be an issue.
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Is this blog still active I tried to post a comment it didn’t show up
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Yes, this blog is still active. This is the first comment I’ve seen from you.
If you came up under another name and your comment was offensive it will not be posted.
I moderate all comments since things were getting out of control.
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Thanks Patrice of course we all lie and we have have told lies in every relationship. I feel if I told a lie to him since I was in a relationship I have no ground to speak on no matter if it was one or two lies because a lie is a lie. But what I can do is stop it and he will do the same we have to lead by example. No one is perfect but I can say this you love a lot of the things he did for you but I can tell you the next man you get they are always missing something the last one did. We got married I believe you will work it out. Btw I’ve seen you before maybe in passing on the metro in dc
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Dawn thank you for allowing me to express myself and taking it so well. You are truly a mature woman who can accept the fact that we don’t see eye to eye.
I hate that peole know who I am in public and I have no clue who they are…it’s scary sometimes…thinking I may start driving to work…LOL
If you see me again and wish me no harm please say “Hello”
Indeed nobody is pefect and I am not looking for perfection at all trust me.
I am happy for you! Congratulations!!!
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Next time I will it was at metro center yea it not good your picture is up a lot of people know you and you don’t know them. I can handle when me and someone don’t see eye because like you said your break might make you realize how much you miss and love him. That’s Patrice I’m glad you the idea about justice of peace hopefully you and him can do the same
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It’s not a bad thing (my picture being up) it’s the people who are bad that use it for ill intentions.
I know that God will protect me from evil but I have to assist him by watching my back.
I am thrilled that the Justice of The Peace idea worked for you…
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Hey dawn thanks I’m glad I was able to shine some lights and give you some insight. Congrats on getting married today. Patrice is what I call hard core lover. She wants what she want when she wants it. Which is not a bad thing because he was a good man to keep her for five years I can bet he spoiled her which if she does decide to leave him the next man has to do what he did plus more. I agree we all lie that’s part of us not being perfect some lie about major things some are small. I will say this Patrice is a strong woman and it takes a strong man to put up with her. If your weak you want last in her world.
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Mark I can’t disagree with you at all. You are 100% correct.
But if I am working two jobs that’s not spoiling me…I don’t expect to be spoiled just treated fair and loved.
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I’m glad you agree and I’m pretty your working two jobs like most of us because one job isn’t cutting it. I went from renting a room to a basement to apartment my next move is a house. My sister met this guy went from a house to renting a room and she has a man something is wrong with that picture. But my dear sister Patrice stay strong and god will bless you. An I hope he bless you with him lol. I think you need a break from him. Face it he spoiled you and lol I have proof you said it in a comment. Talk to you later tonight. Having your picture up is a good/bad move cause if you offend someone and they are in your area they could attack you and you would never know who they are or why they did it. But your strong and protected by the man above so no worries.
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Attack me for offending them? That’s funny and they must like jail and having a criminal record. Better hope my family don’t get them before the police and I am no punk. Born and raised in the hood.
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Hey Patrice if you want to know if a man really love you tell him no sex until you both get married. Watch how fast they run and forget your number.
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Been their done that and was happy they left!! Yuck old nasty self looking for sex lol
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Hello Patrice sorry you going thru the same thing I’m going thru. I talked to my man and asked him for a break he agreed. A lot of men can’t handle a woman wanting a break but he seems like a guy that loves you and will give u some space. Give it a try but I’ll admit girl I miss that man like crazy right now any advice you can share with me.
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When did you decide to take this break? I would never suggest to anyone to take a break;I can only speak for myself.
Just be careful with that because some end up meeting someone else during the “break”.
Loving me or not I needed my space but can only speak for myself.
Why did you decide on a break?
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Mark I done that 99.9% of the men left the only one that stayed was the one I’m with now I made him wait a year
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Woohoo! Good for you Tracy! I made TW wait 7 months. So Mr. Mark that does not happen to all women unless they want to happen.
OR they are tricked like one young lady was on my blog and that was dead wrong of him.
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I know right that’s all a lot of men want if u got a big butt or breast they just want to see you naked at hit it a few times than they are gone.
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That’s sad…
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I may get a lot disagreement from both men an women but I’ll say this a man is only as good as his and vice versa. As a couple you build a empire together. When you struggle with a man or woman when you do get ahead you will appreciate what you have. If your in a relationship and there is no progress why are you still in it. Ladies listen support your man you are his back bone if you leave he is no good. I can say this because my woman is my back bone like Patrice is TW back bone.
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Patrice your hard when it comes to love. How in the hell did your man keep you around for five years? I can bet your attitude can be at it’s worse sometime. Why can’t you go to the justice of peace and get married? What is the break your taking all about? If you love him why can’t you make it work? You ladies kill me you want a good man but once you get him you want something else. If you both love each other go hard or go home. Does he go hard for you? As a man long as he doesn’t cheat on you than I can see how you can’t make it work
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Frank,
I am not hard. I am 43 and have no time for games. He didn’t keep me around I stayed because I wanted to.
We never had one fight or yelled at eachother…My attitude is just fine so you are wrong about that one buddy.
As for the justice of the peace am I supposed to ask him? I don’t think so buddy.
You can love someone but that does not mean you are meant to be together; didn’t you know that?
I don’t want anyting else but a good man but there a tons of good men out here Mr. Frank.
People kill me thinking that just because someone is a nice guy that’s all it takes…that is a given but what about the rest?
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I’m not the one to talk bad about anyone or wish anything negative on a couple but his mistake he should have spoiled Patrice after they got married. No he’s on the outside looking in. As she walk out the door. Knowing the fact she is a hard lover she will take everything they worked hard to get.
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Hello Frank,
We were NEVER married besides I would never take what my hard earned money didn’t buy.
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Patrice you don’t deserve a good man. You said you have one but you want to leave. After you leave if you decide to leave he going to dog the next one if he decides to even let another woman get close to his heart
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Sandy thank you for your comment…If that is the way you feel then that’s fine. What exactly is a good man? If that is what he does that is on him. I have nothing to do with him dogging the next woman. If I am not happy Good man or NOT does not mean I don’t deserve a good man; it means I deserve to be happy too. I will not settle any longer like most will do; I won’t. Does that make me wiser than the next? Nope…it’s my life so I can do as I please. The one thing about me is I could care less what the next person thinks about me or my decision. Have a blessed day.
Thank you for your kind words.
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Patrice what is the meaning of a break? What are the rules of a break? How long should a break last? What is the break suppose to help you do?
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The meaning of a break is whatever you want it to be as well as the rules. It varies and has to be discussed between the two to set the ground rules and time frame.
A break will give me time to decide if this is something I really want. I tell you what; lots of things have surfaced that does not look good at all for our future.
Wait for it….Oh yes! The things that I assumed would come to pass has. Just when you think you REALLY know someone oh boy! Time reveals all…
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I’m not trying to get in your business but I’ve read your post and I’ve see your issues your having. With your break can are you looking to date or have sex with someone else because if you do that isn’t that like saying the relationship is over? I want a break but I want to make sure it’s to clear my vision and make sure he is where I want to be. I don’t want to get sidekick
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Tawanna SOME of my busienss is out there already my dear so no worries. I would never tell everything to respect his privacy. In no way did any of my post indirectly or directly say I want to have sex with someone else or date. I am so happy I held back on certain information simply becaues the litle I have shared people have ran with it.
I like your approach and hope it works for your both.
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Hello blogger and Tawanna I will share a the meaning of what a break is and Patrice if I’m wrong please let it be known. A break in my eyes is when two MATURE adults come to a agreement that space it need for one of the individuals to think with a clear mind and to see if this is the person they want to be with. They are using the break to teach the other person to step they game up and step to the plate. As for Patrice I think her break is to clear her mind step back and make sure she wants to marry this guy. She is angry and upset so the break for her will help her think with a clear head. When you are on a break and both you and the other person agree to revisit the situation within a few months it’s best you don’t entertain another man because you want to think with a clear head. If you start dating and having sex that’s when your emotions have been tainted. One thing in life that hurts us no matter what happen in life is if we leave that person and realize it was a mistake it hurts us because all we think about is could of should of and so forth. My suggestion don’t entertain dating or sex with another man. When you think about it you gave this man or woman your word and that bond you gave them is something you want to honor because if you was in the person shoes you would want them to honor it. I hope that helps and if you have any questions I’m here.
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Mark,
I love it! Well put…thank you for taking the time out to clear things up brother. As I said before, you choose your own approach and set the ground rules that work for you. Each situaiton is diffrent. If a doctor prescribed the same medication to every sick person nobody would be cured. I am no longer angry MARK…:)
I was really upset anger is a strong emotion.
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Thanks Mark that explain it all to me. I’m stilling here at my desk and I realize I need a break. Most men are not like you mark or Patrice’s man how do I bring this idea to him?
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Patrice I need your help what can I get my man for valentine day they always say they don’t want anything but I think we should get them something. What are you getting yours I know your on a break but I know you have some ideas
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You can’t go wrong with cologne 🙂
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What’s a good smelling cologne I don’t know a thing about men cologne I just found out about flower bomb what the last one you brought I’ll go buy the same girl you need to smell that one
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The folks at the counter will suggest some…Black Orchid by Tom Ford rocks.
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Tom ford his stuff is a little expensive wow now I see who is making the big money. I need a job like yours hook me up.
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Not hardly my dear! I have TWO jobs. I work super hard…and it’s a once a year purchase. LOL
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lol i know you do work hard
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The honest way…
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I bet patrice have all the gucci, jimmy choo & Tom Ford etc. she has all the good stuff which makes it hard to find a special gife for a woman like you. I bet Mr TW was pulling his hair out around holidays trying to find you a gift lol. hope all is well.
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Never had an expensive handbag in my 43 years. It’s a waste of money spending $1,200-$5,000 plus on a handbag. I will purchase one from a consigment shop one day for half the cost that’s the only way. I would rather invest in a 2-year CD with that money used for a stupid purse.
Mark I am a simple woman that does not require much…what I desire I work hard to provide for myself.
Never been materialistic it’s a sickness.
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I never said you was materialist I was just saying you have all the good stuff so if might be hard to get you something so simple cause you might have everything. Patrice question do you get your man anything for valentines day? We had a discussion at work about men getting gifts on that day. I said 99.9% of men aren’t expecting anything but get something would make us feel a lil extra special. What do you think?
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Hey Mark,
I never said that you called me materialistic…I merely stated that I am not materialistic.
Stop reading more into things please. Thank you honey it’s a blessing to have all “the good stuff” 🙂
You are funny…Any gift is appreciated and considered special to me because someone took the time out to think about me 🙂
I keep all my cards lost a few hundred but have many still…I read them occasionally and they are dear to my heart…it’s just a card to most but it’s love to me.
Yes, I get my man things for all holidays or prior to the day. Money can be an issue for most so I get things earlier and let him know hey dude this is your gift…or I save a few dollars for that very reason.
I think men should get gifts on V-day…why not? I pay for dinner and brunch too.
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That’s what I’m talking about. I want me a V-day gift this year. I know what you mean when money is tight. My lady money was tight doing Christmas so she said I will get you something at the being of the new year. I’m a man with patients so I’m just waiting. Matter of fact hunny if your reading this blog I would love that new rose gold Nike fuel band 😉 Patrice said Tom Ford smells good that can be my Christmas gift. Thanks for that gift idea Patrice 😉 yes Patrice she reads your blog that how I found out about it
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Cool Beans! LOL
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Hello Patrice how are you my name is Nikki I decided to ask you for advice. I dated this guy for 7 years we got married last Saturday. Last night when he came home he dropped a bomb on my world. He told me he has two different women pregnant and they are about to have his kids. I’m so hurt and confused angry I don’t even know what to say or do I need to vent to someone. I was sitting out on my apartment steps crying when a nice gentleman came and ask if I’m ok I said no he’s like are you hurt do you need me to call 911 I’m like 911 can’t help me. I begin to tell him my problems and he’s like wow I don’t know what to say. He like I’m sorry you are going thru this and that I should be happy being I just got married a few days ago. He told me to read your blog and ask you for guidance.
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Hello Nikki,
Honey what you are experiencing has to be extremely hard. I want you to first try to get yourself together and this will not be an easy task.
You are married now and your vows say for better or worst but this situation has me in major debate over that verse. No question what he did to you and those women is dead wrong. Does he have a heart? Did he think about how this would hurt you?
He deceived you in a major way and that is horrible. Were there ANY clues that other women were in the picture?
My first thought is disease my God he was not using protection on any of you. I need you to go get tested right away Nikki.
You can get your marriage annulled if you can’t accept the two kids that are on the way.
Please stop crying; I need you to be strong for me ok?
I can’t imagine how you feel never experienced it before but I have a darn good idea.
Honey, you have a lot to decide on in a short time. I am here for you…hope this helps.
This day shall pass but you have to make it through this all and not let it destroy you.
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I can’t accept the two kids and the fact he has another one. I’m so hurt this is suppose to be the happiest time of my life. This is the most tragic thing that’s ever happen to me. I gave that man my all. This is how he repays me. I’m a very beautiful woman I take the metro to work and at lease I get five guys that try to talk to me but I married a fool. My did this have to happen to me
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Nikki it’s life and trust me you aren’t the only female this has happened to.
Just pray you have your health and move on.
Stay strong lady! You are a soldier what does not kill you will make you stronger.
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Good afternoon Patrice,Mark,Nikki hope everyone is having a great day today. Nikki im so sorry to hear about you marriage that was so wrong of him to treat you like that. Mark is right there is no such thing as a guy night out thats our way to hit the streets and be single and be a male hoe for the night. Take it from me i use to do the same thing. I use to be that same man until Patrice and her man help me grow up and become a REAL MAN
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Thanks for responding back patrice. Ive been crying all night i havent ate or sleep. he doesnt have a heart because i just found out he has another child thats one years old that he been taken care of without telling me. he told me that he was scared to tell me because I would have left him. Patrice he has to go. There was no clues beside every friday night was boys night out but now i see he was slang dick all around the DMV area. I will go get check thanks for bringing that to my attention.i will get the marriage annulled i was suppose to be going on my honeymoon tomorrow tomorrow
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Nikki I am in shock! If I were in your shoes not sure what I would do but leave and get tested. I couldn’t stay married to someone playing Russian roulette with my life.
The kids are another issue !
Remember you have to decide on your own what to do.
Don’t worry about what others may think.
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I’m not leaving when he gets home he’s leaving this house. Those are not my kids. This marriage is over. You are right with him having unprotected sex my life is at risk. I’m so sick and hurt. I’m so numb I don’t want to wish this pain and hurt on my worse enemy. To think that man gamble with my life and my future kids life how can you forgive a man like that? What did I do to deserve this?
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Nikki you just be careful…I hope he’s not violent…you may have to call the Police this could get ugly. BE CAREFUL….
DON’T LOSE YOUR TEMPER AND END UP IN JAIL. Stay calm and handle your business like a strong woman…you will get through this. Remember to get tested ASAP.
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Nikki you are NOT dumb stop saying that about yourself. I am so angry that someone would have the nerve to do that to anyone…that’s crazy!!! It’s ok cry get it all out but I want you to stand up tall and suck it up fast…don’t let that mess ruin your days ahead…it will take time to recover but better days are ahead…PRAY!!!!
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Nikki I’m so sorry to hear what your going thru as a man leave his ass get a divorce. I don’t believe in them but in your case get one ASAP. He gambled with your life. Patrice isn’t life crazy soon as you think you have it bad one one always have it worse. This is what I call a no fix relationship
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That’s my man!!! Mark get ’em! LOL
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Nikki if you want him out let me know I’ll get his ass out. I hate a man that cheats. Come on dude you going in these chicks raw than have the nerve to have you woman go down on you. Ladies there is no such thing guys night out that’s a excuse to fuck another woman. Patrice have you man ever told you he’s have a guys night out? I bet he never did. Any man that’s in a relationship guy night out should be movie and dinner with your woman fuck friends my lady is my best and my world I don’t need anyone but her. You guys take ladies like Nikki and you with there heart and emotions than they snap and end up in jail for killing you. Ladies if your man says he going out for guy night smell is dick when he gets in I bet it smell like pussy and not your pussy or fresh soap or cologne or a oil. Nikki I’m here if you need me.
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Mark is telling it like it is…no holding back! I love it…
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Mark I totally agree with you…
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Patrice make that correct I meant to say another woman
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Patrice I love you like my own sister don’t get mad. I’m going to use your topics and comments you made to make a point. Nikki Patrice open up about a lot in her relationship. They both love each other so there is real love still out there. There are a few good men around very few. See Patrice made comments on how he’s such a good man and she would be a fool to leave all that. He doesn’t do guys night out he’s a home body like me. 🙂 see sis no wonder I like him. She said 80/20 she can work with and TW was that. I know we will never know the full story but I will say this yes he lies a lot and he realized his mistakes and will work on correcting them. Nikki as a man I will tell you this you will never get a perfect man but if you find the qualities in a man like Patrice mention you have a good one. All of us aren’t bad we just need a good woman to help us change those bad into good. Nikki your in a situation I wouldn’t wish that on my worse enemy. Get out and never look back. It’s men like him that make it bad for all of us.
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Nikki he (Mark) gave you some excellent advice. There are good men out here they just aren’t perfect. You ran across the type of man that is any woman’s worst nightmare!!! Poor thing you 😦
Don’t let this determine your future and the possibility of finding real love. Nikki God knows I totally get where you are mentally and the pain is real…as time goes your heart will heal…I promise you 🙂
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Thanks for the advice Mark I’m already working on get it annulled. I really don’t know this guy that gave me your info Patrice but as he was turning into the complex he pulled over and said I remember you from last night I saw you here I left and it’s been hours and your still here on the same bench in the same spot. I thanked him and he said your welcome he seems so genuine. I told him I want my husband out he gave me the same advice to call the police to make sure there is no drama. How many tears can a woman cry. How much pain must I go thru. I’m thinking about all these night I had unprotected sex with him and I’m pretty sure on some of those night his penis had just came out another woman’s vagina and into my mouth. Why do I have to be the woman that goes thru this? My trust in men are over soon as I let my guard down I get played.
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Whoever the guy was I appreciate him giving you my card. When things like this happen it’s almost always better to stay anonymous. People will judge you and talk badly behind your back. Mark and I are here to support you any way we can. Don’t tell anyone about this that you know it will only make matters worse. Let some time pass get tested make sure you are all in the clear than maybe talk about it to someone you know that you can trust…just be very careful who you share this information with. This is my blog nobody knows who you are so no worries here. You can vent here and not be concerned with someone bringing your past up.
Don’t like him make you not trust another man…he is so not worth it.
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Nadedge sent me this link I’m just reading it. When I talk to my big cuz doing the summer he told me he was hoping you too get married September 20,2014 I’m in shock. What’s going on?
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She is evil…call your cousin he will tell you.
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He didn’t give me a card he just told me to put your blog URL in my safari browser and once it came up he told me to send you a comment . I don’t know who he is but he’s a light skin guy and drives a black Lexus it’s a shame he told me his name but I forgot it 😦 you and Mark have been very helpful. It’s even harder when you don’t have family around. All my family is out of state. Let me get myself together cause he will be home soon and I have to get him out this house. Thanks guy you both have been great I will comment later to tell you guys what happen.
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Mark that was great advice. I agree with you 100%. I’ve dated women like Patrice they fine a good man he spoils them and treat them like a queen. Once they use them get ahead in life and they have no more use for them they kick them to the curb. I read you blog Patrice and I read all the comments it took me three weeks. You made a lot of great points but you confused a lot of your readers. For one let’s start with this topic you wanna leave after five years ok but this man is in love with you and your in love with him. Why not work it out. You said yourself he’s a good man don’t go out stays home works hard and spoils you why give that up you said you would be a fool too. Than you made a comment he’s still paying on your ring. So he does want to take it to that level with you why stop? You said your relationship with him is 80/20 hmmmm if I’m not mistaken that’s almost perfect living into days world. Being that we have gays aids and so many other issues to worry about. You are spoil he spoiled you and you admitted to it. Your so spoil because you want it when you want it. When you say jump he probably like how high. I’m not going to knock his hustle because that’s what he did to show you he loves you and want to keep you around. We may not know the whole story but I know whatever the issues are you can work it out and get pass them. Did he cheat on you? Did he have another child with another woman? Did he hit you? Did he curse you out in front of family and friends? He admitted to lies that big on his part and to tell the world. Guess what Patrice he can’t change the pass but you can help him change the future. We all lie and in the bible no matter how many times we lie it’s still a lie. Work with the man. You can sit here and act as if you have never lied to him I’m pretty sure you have. I’m pretty sure some may hurt him but your not going to tell him because of that. You in the same boat as him. Why take a chance and dating someone else when that person may never love you as much as him and may never have any intentions on making you there wife. They can string you long saying yes we going to get married but turn and don’t than you just waste more of your time. Let’s say you get married but this guy wants a divorce but like you said you not getting one. So he leaves you and now your heart broken again and going thru a divorce you said you would never do. You know what you have at home with him stay and fix the problem don’t run away. Stand up and fight the battle don’t be weak. If he has a bad attitude that can be fix. If he smells that can be fixed. He is fat that can be fixed. If he drinks that can be fix. If the sex isn’t right that can be fixed. If he don’t like to clean that can be fixed. If he’s just messy that can be fixed. You can’t tell me whatever he did it can’t be fixed. You think what your going thru with him is bad look at Nikki situation. Our generation is falling apart and our kids future are dim because we as adults we are showing them that if there is a problem in your relationship leave. Why don’t we show our kids that we fight for our love. The divorce rate is so high and the disease rate is thru the roof because everybody is sleep with everybody. You man is clean why leave that the 80/20 and his love for you? You are this mans world. The reason I know is because he called you PERFECT. He did not call you perfect to put a smile on your face he didn’t call you perfect to make you feel better he called you perfect because he cherish you and everything about you. That’s a man that doesn’t take his woman for granted. Sure you date you will get some of him from other men and what he didn’t have from that man but one thing you want get is that five years of a man getting to know you and spoiling you and making you his number one priority. You and him have inspired another man to become a better man. That man learn how to treat a woman the correct way because he read how he treated you. You may not realize this but how many people can raise there hand and say my relationship help a young man become a better person? I one know one that’s yours but you want to give it up. You both are changing lives imagine what would happen if you got married. You and him are role models for lost generation what other normal couple are touching regular people lives? Please tell me? How many of your friend are jealous or want what you have with him? Did you and him make any progress as a couple? If there is progress in a relationship that means your moving in the right direction. If you got in more debt that’s a problem. If you both or at lease one of you were able to pay some bills of improve your credit or finish college that a plus as a couple. My lady use to try to attend college but she could never finish. We moved in together and she got focus and she got her degree and now her masters. She admits I made it comfortable and easy for her to attend school. We know it’s hards these days to attend college hold down a full time job I’m not saying it impossible but having a good man or woman on your side to support you that helps take a load off your shoulders and brain. Patrice please don’t take my message the wrong I’m just expressing myself because you and him have touch some lives and what you have is REAL LOVE. That is almost impossible to come by. But guess what it’s right in your heart and soul. Don’t walk away from hold on tight to it and don’t let go. You don’t have to ask him to marry you just say I know you paying on the ring we can get those later I will put my life on the line and he will say ok let’s go get married. There are six more days before feburury 14 why not get married on Friday. Hope I didn’t bore you with this long comment. This a old but very true statement your looking out on the other side it’s looks so green and beautiful and happy over there but once you over there that’s when you realize all the dead spots broken glass and everyone is unhappy and miserable why leave what you have for something that not real?
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Hello Meech,
Why would I take your comment the wrong way?
Thank you for such a well thought out response! I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read my blog as well. You read every comment wow!
Not sure what you meant by using someone to get ahead in life then kicking them to the curb. I am the one who stayed up all night studying and writing those papers not him. I am the one who has to pay back all of those student loans not him.
My degree was for self-edification nothing more…I was attending school before I met him so he has nothing to do with that.
I work TWO jobs so maybe we have what spoiled means confused…If my readers are confused they never communicated that to me. However; because I said nice things about him made them wonder maybe just a little but most understood although they did not want to accept my choice. I have my reasons why I left that can’t be shared besides the 6 years and no ring.
TW would not be the first guy that have ever treated me good or like a QUEEN since I will not settle for less. I’ve stuck around no good men for my reasons then left because I was smart enough to know that I deserved better.
I always believed that people will do what you allow them to do. I don’t know what he did but most men have a history of cheating and he even admitted to cheating on his ex before…I had a little scare once finding panties in my top drawer that did NOT belong to me. They were too small and had been worn.
We all lie this is true but what does that have to do with the lies he told me? Heck, as many lies that I was told I joined the party. My mother and a few visitors were disturbed by his behavior but he apologized several months later.
You are right lots of things could be fixed if I wanted to invest more time on top of the 6 years. If I was 23 or even 33 sure thing but oh no I am 43 no more time to waste. You either hop on board or get off!
It really does not matter who intends on making me their wife or not; I have to want to be their wife first.
I am like a HAWK there is no way in hell at my age that a man would get three women pregnant and I not know something.
As for Nikki: If I am sleeping with my man unprotected there is no way that I won’t get some type of infection if he was sleeping with three difference women including me. It would be a blessing to not contract HIV that is just crazy! My heart goes out to Nikki.
To be honest, I can’t recall exactly what I wrote on the 80/20 if I said he did 80 that was clearly miscommunicated…I was responsible for all my bills and household items which get expensive…groceries i.e. cable. Why stay in something when you aren’t happy? I don’t care if a man gives me the world if I am not happy then what’s the point?
I need things that money can’t buy…What we are showing our kids that it’s ok to shack up with a man for 5-10 years but hey he’s nice and gives you the world…but he won’t marry you but so what just stick around for another 3 years and he will…maybe if you threaten to leave.
After two years you are through is my motto and I will not date you unless marriage is in our future…I will just stay single.
The disease rate is through the roof thanks to down low brothers especially among Black Women.
He called me perfect…because I was perfectly stupid to be with him for so long and help build him up into a better man….you have no idea Meech. If he cherished me so much what took him so long to marry me? Save it please…no more excuses for him not stepping up to the plate and doing the right thing.
I want women to know that it’s not cool to stay with a man for several years if he can’t make you his wife…it is not cool to shack up with a man that has no plans on marrying you! I am not bitter or angry just fed up and wanted a change. Maybe I really believed deep down inside that I could not do better.
I did it and regret that I waited so long to say to heck with this playing house stuff.
Real love does not keep you waiting to become his wife.
Sidebar: Funny how a man thinks you are good enough to have his child but not good enough to be his wife…that makes me sick to my stomach but oh he loves you!
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He lied and you lied to him two wrongs don’t make it right. I saw were he paying on a ring almost six months before you left and he had already told family members the wedding date. Thats not a last minute thing that’s call planing in advance. I have a question on your two year plan Let say you meet a guy date him for a year than live with him for a year and get married. Once you marry this guy everything goes south things you didn’t know comes out and it turns out he’s not the man you thought he was. You said they your next marriage your not getting a divorce. But things are just that bad your unhappy and want out. Two years is really not a long time a person can play you for those two years. One the other hand you have a man that knows you and you know him why not take those negative and turn them into positives? I get it your 43 with a man that loves you and cherish you. You build that man up and mode him for you why not get married to you. I get it there are problems but this is my question can those problems be fixed? You and him build a strong solid foundation for five years why not finish that master piece. Give all your blogger friends and Facebook friends the wedding we know is going to happen. Baby mama drama comes because they are jealous of you. Congrats on the degree are you getting your masters or you already got it? If you haven’t gotten it don’t stop now go and get it.
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Good morning Patrice thanks for your words. I’m still depressed i have to get out the apartment I think I will treat myself to a day of shopping and some me time. Mark your words were true to heart and I do believe you that there is no such thing as guy night out. I did pack his bags and left lastnight i had the maintance men come and change the locks this morning. I’m still hurt and crying I think im headed to church in the morning my life is a reck.
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Church sounds good and you will be fine.
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Hello Patrice how are you. I’m want to say I’m sorry about my last comment I got into my feelings. The reason for that is because I’ve seen so much of the positive impact your relationship has had on some people. I understand he lied and that really took a toll on you. But can you honestly say that you have been 100% honest with him? Two wrong don’t make a right. As a couple you both can make those wrongs right. You have five years with this man and because of your post of how this man treated you and spoil you that influence a child to become a real man how to respect and treat a woman. I realize so many people are giving you so good and some bad advice. My point you have something real and it’s special don’t give it up.
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No need to apologize you said nothing wrong.
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Hello Patrice how are you. I’m your face book friend I finally took my time to read every post you have on your blog I’m going to comment on some. I see your taken a break from this guy. I see you post on your face book page you never understood how one person could only want one person and nobody else now I do. I don’t want no body else put you. Its like you left him to be with another guy and that’s not right. I don’t wish anything bad on anyone but karma is real. I don’t understand how you women get over men so quick. Wow did you ever love the brother? Why do you females play with our hearts? I’m not trying to attack you I’m just asking some questions. I gave my woman a break and that was the worse mistake ever that allowed another man to get with her. Why tell a man you want a break when your going to date another person. Correct me if I’m wrong a break should be to clear your head to make sure this is the person you want to be with right? How is it when your on your break your dating another person that’s not clearing your head and making sure he’s the right person for you. That’s getting over him and moving on in my book. I hope you respond back.
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I don’t know the answers to everything when it comes to life and neither do you so it’s important to step back and stop thinking you know every darn thing.
You should ask yourself why you become very passionate about negative topics and become quiet as a church mouse when it’s time to discuss positive topics…
When a person is always looking for the opportunity to condemn or wish bad karma on someone it only shows you are a miserable soul.
Whatever choices a person makes in life is something they have to deal with not you.
So why not respect their choice if you can’t give positive feedback?
Whatever I decided to do was my choice and it’s that simple.
I am happy and that’s all that matters.
THERE IS NO LAW IN THE UNIVERSE THAT SAYS YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH A PERSON AND IF YOU LEAVE BAD KARMA WILL BE YOUR DESTINY.
I think it’s a sickness when a person takes one phrase off Facebook and blows it up.
My lady friend and I were having a conversation and she’s now married…she’s the one I quoted and thought her statement was so profound that I shared it in my page.
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Hello Tony how are you? First off you should read all the comments she post thru out her blog. If you paid any attention the guy she is taken a break from commented on her post and said don’t attack her attack me.You may be to young or not mature enough to understand what a break is why some men or women need a break. Patrice please correct me if I’m wrong. Tony don’t get it twisted she loves this guy trust me she do as strong black women we will not stay with a guy if he wasn’t treating us right. I can tell they both have made a lot of progress in the relationship he has helped her in ways and she did the same for him. As women if a man is dead weight we are ending the relationship clearly he’s not dead weight. When you are with a man 365 days out the year and at lease 12 hours a day you need a break no matter if your married or not space is what keeps the romance going. Example when I was a child I fell off my bike my grandmother put some proxcide on my cut. I asked for a bandaid she said no it will heal better when it’s not covered. The break they are on it’s to lift the patch that’s been coving the hurt now they are letting some fresh air in and getting all the devils out. Once that’s done they will move forward in there relationship. The devil is all the friends they thought had there best interest at heart but was praying for there down fall and telling there business behind there back. Not every woman is a real woman Tony. The lady you was dating was a girl. Patrice will be the first to say she isn’t perfect but in his eyes she the perfect woman. That means the love he has for Patrice is equal or stronger than the love he has for his mom. He has a lot of great qualities in him as a man but there are something’s he has to fix. He shared his mistakes with the world. The fact he knows his mistake he working on correcting them. Tony when your on a break don’t text or call her like your still with her. When you do that your pushing her away. Remember this Tony a REAL MAN can show a woman while there on a break she is still on his mind without calling or texting. Stop reading into things on her Facebook seems to me you want your chance at her heart. I will tell you this I don’t know Patrice nor have I seen her in my life Tony he still has her heart and she has his we don’t throw a foundation or love away we built for five years with a person away in 3 or 4 months. Tony step back watch&learn how he spoiled and loved this woman. She is a tough cookie I can tell but some how he I got her heart and spoiled her on his level. Btw happy Monday to you Patrice. Did I keep it lady like this time? Lol while I’m at work I’m the educated black woman who is always in beast mode Monday-Friday.
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Thanks lady!
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The most viewed topic of them all with the most comments ever! WHOA! Thanks guys you rock!!!
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That comment is still me Johnson is father last don’t want to confuse you. I sent my last comment under reginajohnson@yahoo.com
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Someone sent me this link months ago sorry I’m responding so late. My name is Israel. As humans we always try to paint a picture of a perfect reLtionship. All relationships have there share of issues. Even pastors go thru there share of issuess in there marriage or relationship.
The only difference is your problem may be minuscule. We are all humans with means we makes mistakes neither of us are PERFECT but he’s PERFECT for you. If you think other wise think of how he has treated you over these years. I have a series of question I hope you answer and respond back to me. Is he your friend? Does he RESPECT you? Does he love you? Do you love him? Does he tell you he loves you everyday? Does he opens your car door? Does he warm your car up in the winter? Does he cool your car off in the summer? Does he adores you? Does he provide for you and your family? Does he pick up your phone calls? Does he spoil you? Is he gentle with you? Has he ever cursed,yelled,struck or called you out your name? Does he treat you like a sex object? Does he attend church? Does he try to be a better man and father to the kids? Are you giving him the support in his efforts like a woman should? If you answered yes to all the right questions and no to all the ones that should be no than your five years needs to be save don’t leave stay and make it work. Patrice you may not see what I’m trying to show and prove to you because the devil was once a angel and I hope he hasn’t came into your world and try to steal your joy and happiness you built for five years. We all have our bad qualities that we need to work on. He’s only human help he become that man you know he can become like were you and him started and look how far you have come? I’m a stronger believer in fixing problems and making it work. I’m help over 50 couples save have there realtionship and marriage I’m proud to say they all took my advice and are happly married. I will email you my contact I would love to talk to you both one and than as a couple. Last question with all the good and bad is he a good man? I hope you respond back to me with some answers I know I’m late but would love to see your response to my comment. I hope you take your time and answer all the question with honesty. I will be check back thru out the day to see if you respond back. Don’t let the devil and your friends or should I say so call friends ruin what will be your soulmate for life.Females are jealous and men are just as jealous as the females men will attack him because he has your heart that hate to see you happy and with another man trust me on that. When all they want to do is play games and run the street and have you and another woman on the side. Please remember misery loves company and the devil do too.
Thanks
Israel
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Hello Israel,
I am human and I never try to paint a picture of a perfect relationship knowing that it does not exist.
It is only being realistic when saying all relationships have their own set of issues.
What exactly separates “Pastors” from the general public when it comes to life and relationships? Does this somehow make you exempt to certain things?
A problem being minuscule based on whose standards? It is apparent that as humans we make mistakes; that is exactly what makes us human.
Please tell me something I don’t know since I love to learn new things.
Perfect has nothing to do with anything in this case it’s about doing what’s right…it is not that complicated at all.
I will answer all of your questions with the first being:
Does he respect you? Any man that lives under the same roof with a woman for over 5 years does NOT respect her. There is no reason why a man should not make a woman his wife that dedicates her life to him rather than play house. It should not take longer than 2 years to decide if you want to be with someone. Anything else (MY OPINION) is a waste of my time.
Do you love him? Yes, I love him but I love myself more.
Does he tell you he loves you every day? For the most part yes he did. I am bigger on actions than words or phrases. Proving his love for me would have been asking me to marry him several years ago.
Does he open your car door? Yes, and so does my nephew.
Does he warm your car up in the winter? Sometimes
Does he cool your car off in the summer? No, I don’t expect him to but it would have been NICE!
Does he provide for me and my family? No, he does not. He pays rent for a place he lived in as well. I provide for myself.
Does he pick up your phone calls? When time permits
Does he spoil you? Somewhat, yes but that depends on what you consider spoiled…I work two jobs.
Has he ever cursed you? No he has not
Yelled? No
Struck? No
Called me out of my name? No
Does he treat you like a sex object? No, but any man that continues to have sex with a woman and not make her his wife is no better than a pimp in the street.
Does he attend church? Yes, since the breakup not before.
Does he try to be a better man and father to his kids? Yes, after I put my foot down.
Are you giving him the support in his efforts like a woman should? If giving a man almost 6 years of my life isn’t enough proof of support I don’t know what to tell you.
Thank you for encouraging me to have no respect for myself and morals. I appreciate your input but I have to do what’s best for me.
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Thanks for your response. I was using the pastor as analogy. They have relationship problems like the general public. If you felt that way why did you stay three more years? He must have showed you something because you stayed. That’s great your nephew opens your door but how many men you know don’t open doors for there lady? Spoil I mean treat you like a lady get you gifts on every holiday and gets you stuff just because. So you and him never attend church together? All that matter is he’s in church. That just shows me he realize he has problems and is trying to get help. My only encouragement was that he must have some good for you to stay five years. I can’t bet my life he wants to marry you and he’s thinking on another level now.
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Good morning Patrice sorry I’m so late to put my two sense in on this comment. I must say I just went thru this last year. I’m 48 years old and so I know how your feeling. I’m not here to judge you or tell you to say or go but I will tell you how I made my decision on this same situation. I met this guy and he was nothing like the others guys I had dated or was running into. What stood out the most was he was so nice and caring. We hit it off great. So we decide to take it a step further and move in together. Which for me was great I was going thru money problems. I must say those first three years was good. We didn’t have much but we had each other. He’s a hard working man sometimes working three jobs. I would say around the fourth years things started to take a turn. We had made progress in both our lives. Our sex life started to fail and he started telling lies:( One day I looked up and was like wow five years we not married what’s going on? He always told me he would marry me anytime. But his action didn’t match his words. I really started to shut down on him and our relationship. I wanted out. We never argued or fight but I was hurt. I decided it’s time we talked. I told him I needed a break to clear my head and that I was hurt that he didn’t make me his wife. He looked me in my eyes and said I want you to be my wife but my money isn’t right I broke down others ways we could have done it but he told me he was thinking on that level and he was sorry. I took my break and I will admit the first month I was happy felt free and could be me. That’s when reality started to sit in. Every morning I take a shower a I realize I’m getting older time is waiting for anyone. I was like I want to get married I want to be happy. I could go out and date. I’ve never had a problem getting a man I get hit on at lease five times a day and I’m a little old lady. Do I really want to waste my time dating another man getting to know him and than six months to year or more we break up and than I’m back to square one. I talked to a very close male friend of mines that’s married. He said Kimberly you have five years of history with this man. Some times are good others are bad that life and relationships. None of us are perfect that just part of being human. He said you have two choices. First choice is date and hope you come across someone that is serious and will take you serious and give you what your looking for. You second choice is to go back with Mike the man you built five years with. The man that has never called you out your name. The man that’s never rejected or hurt you. The man that will give his life to save yours. The man that took your family need when they need a place to stay and didn’t even ask them for a penny. He told me something I never realize. While you were with mike all these guy wanted you. Why did they want you? Just for sex or a wife? He said you think women are jealous men will do anything to ruin what you and mike have. They will spread lies about you so he can leave you. Patrice he was so right I never realize how many haters I had around me because I had a good man. He said mike never said he didn’t want to marry you he just wasn’t thinking outside the box. He said as his woman you should said baby we can do this and have this later. I made my mind up to go back with Mike and Patrice that’s been my best decision we got married and everything else fell into place. Our sex life got better he doesn’t lie anymore he attends church. We even go running together. I didn’t want to waste anymore time and years dating. I looked at it as five years he loved me Said five years without rejection or hurt he never said he wouldn’t marry me and yes there are problems and I have problems that’s life. I rather have problems with him because I know how he is and he willing to work and fix them I can’t say what I might get in after relationship. I’m not perfect and he’s not perfect but we are perfect for each other. I hope this helps you hope to hear from you soon.
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Hey Israel and Patrice. Israel I got your point. You make a lot of sense. Patrice he didn’t tell you not to have respect all he was doing was ask you questions about qualities that make up a good man. The fact he falls under some of those qualities he was just saying you have a lot of good there that’s all.
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I read what he said and you got a different message from it than I did…that’s all. In so many words (to me) that is exactly what he was saying…BUT you can only work with what I told you. So, I can’t be upset.
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How Patrice I’m Tim sister I hope you and my brother get married we miss you. I love you.
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Awww thank you…and I love you back xoxooxo
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I’m so so late Patrice but I’m new to your blog so I’m still going to comment. I been thru this and it’s hard on both you and him because it’s so much history. I’m pretty sure he loves you dearly and cherish you. If he cried when you told him you was leaving that’s how you know he really loves you. I will say take a break from the relationship and revisit it. The only reason I’m saying take a break is because five years is hard to throw away. I will tell you this if you and him get back together the relationship will be stronger and unbreakable. What for all the haters once guy see you and him are breaking up they will try there best to get with you. Don’t be surprise if they attack him. I’ve witness this first hand never realize how other men are bitches until me and my woman decided to take a break. All that hate made us stronger and we have been married for two years now😍😀❤️. Five years I know this can be fix long as no cheating was involved.
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Hello Brad!
You are not late 🙂 Yes, my goodness had no idea men could be worse than a jealous woman…
I had no idea how many guys wanted us to break up but I did not end of with any of them.
There were a couple of females in his life as well that gave him hell because of me as well.
It’s been 6 years actully, and I felt like he needed to moved faster onto the next level…
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Yes guys can be worse than females but what in don’t get is now that see how much they hate and pray on your down fall do they really think you will give them the time of day? Six years I will say this at lease you know he loves you. Seems like a stand up guy. I’m a young guy but old fashion I grew thinking the only way to get married was in a church. Don’t get me wrong I heard of justice of the peace but I always wanted that church wedding when my woman was like get married at court than we can plan a wedding poor little me my brain don’t think like that 😂. I’ve witness first hand couple take breaks and when you think your relationship is over god reunites them as a stronger couple as husband and wife. Life is funny like that. Embrace your haters don’t talk or tell them your business keep them afar. We me and lady took a break she was surprise how dudes hated on us. I don’t trust guy like females don’t trust other females I have one male friend.
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I heard that!
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Patrice I’m say sorry about your situation. Crazy thing is woman thinks on your level. She hit me with we been together for seven years either we getting married or I’m leaving. I love that woman I didn’t have a lot of money to give her the wedding she wanted but she said let’s go to the court house I wasn’t thinking on that level but I did because Iove her. I hope he gets it together because it seems there is a lot of love between you two. I can tell because you have guys hating on you and wishing on your down fall of your relationship. As a man sometimes we need that direction of a woman. I will admit I need it. I wish you the best.
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Thank you Randy! It’s not about the money or the ring that can come later.
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Now I know before I had no idea she had to bring it to my attention same on me right? 😱
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Patrice five years wow that’s really a blessing. I know I’m late and your decision has been made but I want to email you my number so we can talk in private you can call me block. There is something special and to give it up and throw it away should not have happen. That is what I call a storm and we have to weather it so we have the fruit of our labor. MAKE IT WORK long as there was no cheating involved.
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Patrice I so late in this topic I know you have made your decision but I hope it’s ok to comment still. I see this topic is not to old ask your best friend why you should stay with him. Tell to forget the bad speak on the good and why should you make it work and I bet that will help you make the right decision since you are taken a break.
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Candice it’s cool…there are so many things I can’t mention that played a huge part in my decision.
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