Mistakes? That’s Life!

Mistakes are totally fine to make unless it’s between life and death.
We simply cannot be afraid of making mistakes if it will prevent us from growing.

Mistakes are decisions turned inside out that could lead to bad results immediately but if you’re patient the good results will reveal itself later down the road. (Sometimes)

Whether your decision was a mistake or not be proud that you had the guts to decide on something!

Some mistake are irreparable so it’s critical to think about the pros and cons on whatever you decide.

Most importantly, never make a decision based on emotions use your brain not your heart. Don’t be cold hearted just keep a healthy balance.

It’s really tough to not make decisions when you are upset but you really need a cooling off period.

The last thing you want is to make a mistake based on the decision you made and it can never be reversed!

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Five Years Still No Ring? WTF?

Ok, like seriously, how long do you expect a woman to wait around for you to marry her?
Five years is way too long but hey that’s just my opinion since I was dumb enough to do it.
As 2014 is fast approaching; I decided to end whatever it is we had for so long.
Most folks that I asked to give their opinion on this mess, said,”Why should it matter as long as you are happy”?

Well, that’s exactly it, I am not happy knowing that he got all this milk and cookies for FREE!

There are details that can’t be shared in a public forum however there were SEVERAL factors that assisted me with making this final decision.

In order for me to discuss the topics on my blog guess what? I had to go through it myself!!!!! Hated it…but hope that my life experiences will STOP someone else from making a HUGE mistake.

Is it dreadful to be in a long-term relationship if both parties aren’t considering marriage heck NO but it has to be mutual?

Dude! Don’t pull the “Will you marry me?” when I have one butt cheek out the door…that is just WRONG in all sorts of ways.

Being married for 10 years previously sort of makes me not in a rush to run towards the Alter but if I am playing house for 5 years hmmm? IDK just does not seem right.

No, I will not change my mind nor my heart…my mind is made up. Being an old maid does not scare me…being alone does not scare me although; I am totally too hot for that. LOL

I will not date anyone that isn’t a potential husband considering I am 43 not 23…

Red Lipstick

True story:
A friend asked me to come hang out.

The only person that was familiar to me was the friend who invited me.
Meeting new people is totally fine with me it’s just when they aren’t friendly is what makes the process difficult.

As I walked in the room;
I felt eyeballs burning through my skin which prompted me to turn around.

Two of the seven were all up in my face.
That was cool; I smiled said hello introducing myself while one of the them gave me this dirty look.

That look gave me chills and the idea of how one person could ruin my night was upon me.

Honestly, I’ve been there before more than I care to count.
Usually, the outcome was horrendous because back then my maturity level was on zero.

As a result of those past experiences my approach when dealing with difficult people has a more positive outcome.
I either ignore them or kill them with kindness.

This person never said hello back totally ignored my greeting…
It gets worse…this person blurted out. “I don’t think black women should wear red lipstick, it makes them look like a whore.”
Laughter followed…little did they know; if they tried that 20 years ago; they both would have got punched in the face.

While the other person who sat next to this rude opinionated person had a smirk on their face, the eyes said it all. No matter how nice I was it would not have made a difference.

Ironically, I wore red lipstick that night and absolutely love red.
(Red looks great on me and the color does not compliment every woman)
Letting out an exasperated sigh,
I uttered, “Well, is that right?” And walked away.

My friend came over and asked was everything ok…I replied, “Of course!”, not wanting to cause a big fuss.
Sometimes it gets old trying to be the bigger person. But it’s best to ignore stupid people.

This is just one example of the many encounters I’ve had with women that I’ll never understand.

Insecurities and simply judging another woman that you never met in your life is a sickness of the mind.

Love or Great Buddies?

No matter how much we try there will never be a guarantee that we will find true love.
We sort of “settle” for the closest thing to true love barely making it near enough to call it “LOVE”.
I like you a whole lot bunch is what we confuse as love when maybe we are just great buddies?
Most importantly, we must never forget that when you truly love a person you would never hurt them no excuses, never saying, “I really didn’t mean it”; you just don’t hurt the people you love period.

Butterflies and I only have eyes for you is a bunch of crap; besides I feel that way about my car and a few pair of my favorite shoes.
I am just saying; lots of times it isn’t really love; it’s just a certain someone that is new and interesting in your life at the moment.
Love is when you can’t see living life without that person. I am not saying kill yourself if they dump you!

After 90-days of seeing the same person and those butterflies are still hanging around that’s a pretty good indication that you are getting somewhere. The catch is communicating to find out if you both are on the same page looking for the same thing or you will be devastated feeling rather silly only to find out you are just something to do; “literally”.
Honestly, sparks will fly and you will communicate nonverbally like you are Martians from out of space when you meet the love of your life… just my humble opinion folks! You learn this person like the back of your hand and know their every thought…it will blow your mind!

They will be like a missing limb when they aren’t around you…The craziest part is you will think of them every second of the day. Thoughts of them will follow or precede all your other thoughts to the point you will start praying to God to get them off of your mind just for a minute. Its’ nice to think of people but not that darn much but that is what TRUE love does to you.
Love is when your mind and your heart are in sync with a person and you aren’t having major debate about how you feel towards that person. It will all make total sense and feel totally right.
There will be no reservations…

Boxing Ring Love…is so not cool…

Sometimes we experience situations in life that will make us question our self-worth if you can step outside of yourself for a moment to actually realize it.
We claim to respect and love ourselves but we allow others to throw us out like Monday’s trash or flatten us like a steam roller; then have the nerve to profess our love to them after being thrown under bus right before they rip your heart out of your chest.

I wonder if we really like to feel pain; otherwise why wouldn’t be just tell the loser to get lost? The first lie, the first cry from being hurt beyond repair should be lesson enough but we keep enduring it for days that turn into months and one day it’s years!
You become so mentally and emotionally worn out that you will no longer be any good for the next person if you don’t give yourself time to heal and focus on loving and respecting yourself FIRST.

It may sound corny when your hear folks say “love yourself first” but that’s a FACT!
How can you allow someone to mistreat you and give them your heart? I am sure there are many reasons you would give but none that would make any logical sense. She/he used to be so nice or we have a history together is surely what they say most of the time.

History means nothing if he beats on you…History means nothing if she cheats on you. What they used to do and used to be like means zero what matters is how they are presently treating you.
Never use kids as an excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship because when you think you are doing the kids a favor you are doing them a disservice. Kids are smart and they can sense when their parents aren’t happy and they talk about it in their adult life too.

Trying to love someone that actually hates themselves is a never ending battle you don’t want to start. Now just imagine two people getting together and they have no self-love…that is a huge disaster waiting to happen unless they are open to change and willing to love and accept being loved in return.
When its’ all said and done every experience is a lesson so you aren’t dumb because you fell once or twice for the wrong person but if you repeat the same behavior than you should question yourself.

Make sure you are where you need to be mentally and emotionally before you drag someone into your life…