Love & Life

Don’t lose yourself in a relationship so much that you neglect your own happiness.
You can’t worry about if the other person will be hurt if you leave.
Your happiness should be your priority.
Love is more than a four letter word; action should follow.
People always misuse the word
L-ack O-f V-ision and E-durance
Wouldn’t know love if it smacked them in the face nor do they have the ability to endure all that comes with truly loving someone.
Love is action not just a word.
Love doesn’t make excuses.
Love shouldn’t hurt anything else is pain not love!
Don’t confuse pain with love.
When you truly love someone you wouldn’t do anything that will hurt them.
Because if they hurt you will hurt too!

73 thoughts on “Love & Life

  1. Men neglect themselves all the time for women why can’t they do the same? Patrice your man probably breaks his neck to spoil you and he neglect his own happiness to see you happy but than you turn around and say five years WTF. My ex she burned me the same way two years ago and I’ve been damage since than. I don’t agree with you on that. If I neglect of happiness for you why can’t you do the same for me. If we suppose to exchange gifts I want mines now not later.

  2. I was in the Linsey Lexus and your husband gave me a card to check out blog. Your card is very nice and I like the topics you write about. Are you the only writer or is there a panel that helps you?

    • Hello Missy,
      I am not married…but that’s cute 🙂 Thank you for the nice compliment in regards to my cards! He’s a great guy.
      I am the only writer on this blog. However; I have followers who support my blog by engaging and offering great advice that is welcomed.

      • He seems like a great guy. He was laid back and chill. There is this one lady that works with us and thinks every man wants her she saw him and said watch me get that. We watch her and he was like I’m sorry but my heart is spoken for and I’m in love. It was so refreshing to see a good man speak up and say he has a woman. That made our day. Thanks for responding back to me.

  3. Hey buddy it’s been a while I see every time you write about you and your man you get a millions comments. Question is this your only blog? Have your written any other books? I have a friend and she wants to start her own blog so I’m going to refer her to you. Enjoy your week 🙂

    • Hello Sandy :))
      You know it girl…people love drama…LOL but it’s real life DRAMA. I have not published my first book it’s still in the editing stage when I find time to finish it. Send her on over here…we can learn from each other. No, I have not written any other books but hope to after finishing my first book.

  4. You finally you gave me another topic to write about 😉 what is love? What does love mean to you? What would you do for love? I was raised on if you love a man or woman you do whatever it takes to make it work. I hate to see when couples break up. If you cheat on your lovers than they should leave you. Love is when you do what ever it takes to make it last forever if you say you love a woman or man why do you hurt them that’s not love. Love means that nothing can stop you from being with that person you love. I would take a bullet for the love of my life. Ladies ask your man if they would take a bullet for you if they say yes that’s hard core love the good ole fashion love.

  5. Question for all anyone under 50 years old. Why do you give up on a long progressive relationship? You will hit bumps and bruises but it will pass. God throws things your way to see how strong you are not to run from a relationship. No one is PERFECT so if you find someone that makes you happy make it work. I must admit I’m extremely happy for the blogger she is making her relationship work. The fact she stayed with him watch god blessed them with the perfect marriage all the worries she had about him will disappear. Blogger keep up the good work and hang in there. When life get hard hold his hand and weather the storm rainbows will follow. Blogger I have a question for you. Where do you see yourself in the next six months to a year?

    • Old head it depends on the “bumps” that determines whether you stay…What works for one person doesn’t work for the next.
      Life is short and if I have to fight for happiness it’s not worth it. Some things should be natural…Love should be natural just as marrying a woman instead of shacking up for a decade. This is my humble opinion…I respect whatever other people choose to endure but some things are just not worth it.

      • Blogger I gave my son this advice what your take on it Don’t promise to change.
        Because promise are cheap, and there is one certainty here: a bond was broken. Or else you wouldn’t be caught in this battle, would you? Just don’t turn over a new leaf, because real change demands time. Address the deficit — What was wrong? What did you neglect? What mistakes were made? — and then declare how you’ve changed.

      • Old Head seems like good questions just a little too complex for someone going through heartbreak. We never see what we did wrong until it’s too late then it really does not matter when the person is gone. My question would be rather there was actually a bond in the first place…and if so, what type of bond? Sexual bond?
        Real change does demand time if the person is willing to change as time goes on is important. Why is it a battle? The last three questions have substance something we should all use as a takeaway from all ended/troubled relationships.

  6. I agree sis but if man truly loves a woman he cries for her. He calls his mom and cry on the phone to her that’s what I call love. I’ve only done that once. How many men have cried to there mom about the woman they love.

    • Awwwww James…that meant your heart was broken. I am sorry but if someone wants to move on you must let go no matter how much it hurts. It sucks to feel that pain…been there many times before.

      • Hey sis how the counseling going? Are you both learning new things about each other? Is the counseling bring you too closer together? Hope all is well thanks for your help on my relationship we are getting closer to each other. I’m sending another couple your way 🙂

      • No counseling…We know enough about each other my dear at least I think so; could be wrong…:(
        I am happy my feedback helped your relationhsip that is a beautiful thing :))
        Sure send them my way!
        I tell you one thing; the best advice comes from folks who have been through FIRE and survived it…I see what I did wrong and
        will never repeat the same mistake again…What I have realized is that most of our issues are shared amongst millions around the world…
        I call it “Universal” Problems….

  7. Love is not suppose to hurt. I’m a man that believes if you truly love someone make it work. At lease with that person you know what your getting other than hitting the dating screen where they are playing games.

    • James I agree love should not hurt and when it does you move on. Nobody wants to feel unappreciated or used.
      You can date someone for several years and never know what you got until they reveal themselves (usually by accident or chance) People can talk a good game and keep an act going long enough to get you hooked…I’d rather take my chances in the dating scene than stay in a dead end relationship.

  8. Hello blogger I came across your business card at Linsey Lexus I love the topics keep up the good work. I’m a strong independent black woman and all I want is a man to love me for me not cheat and help me progress in life is that to much to ask Patrice. You hold me down I’ll hold you down. Please ladies point me in the direction of the good men. I’ve been dating in the DMV area for four years every man talks a good game but there actions says something else. Blogger and friends am I asking for too much? Half these men don’t know what love is all they want is sex and keep it moving smh.

    • Hello Resheeda,

      Thank you for reading my blog 🙂 I appreciate you!

      You are not alone. I have female associates who are strong, beautiful, intelligent, great since of humor etc. etc.

      They are all that and a bag of chips! BUT they always choose the WRONG man….I am not saying that is the case with you at all.

      When I was in the dating scene every man was gross and wanted to get in my panties…well it seemed that way!

      I just didn’t give them sex period. I made them wait 7 months even years just to see if they would hang around….seems silly but a guy will either dip when he finds out you are not giving up the goods or still hit it and bounce because he’s angry you made him wait that long.

      At 43 you can imagine that I may have given up the goodies much faster and guess what? I could not get rid of them to save my LIFE!!

      Either way you have your respect…he can never say you were “easy”. Besides that we always get caught up on looks you know the superficial things a man has to offer instead of his heart.

      Where to look? Well, my dear he could be right under your nose…but sometimes we have such high standards it knocks him out the box.

      He may have slightly yellow teeth or a little fat on his neck but so what he will treat you like a QUEEN.

      Resheeda, remember this is not implying this is the case with you ok? You brought up an exceptional topic lady bug.

      Sometimes we have to take a look at us; you know things like how we dress or how men view us to really find out why we attract the WRONG MEN. I used to ask men questions about how they felt about me as a person when they were angry…ooooh boy the things they said about me were totally vicious but it let me know what I did wrong.

      The choices aren’t so great out here these days trust me I know what you are going through. Meeting a good man is like winning the lottery unless you pray and keep your legs closed.

      Then you have so many GOOD MEN out here that can’t find a GOOD WOMAN…hey what is really going on?! Are we asking for something we are not?

      Straight From the Heart, Patrice

      • Hello Patrice thanks for responding me and missy work together. He Seem like a great guy we got on him about why men treat us so bad lol. He gave us a great presentation and whip your card out saying she will help with all your problems. He lucky to have a woman like you. Your right the dating game is crazy. The last guy I dated he was with me and having sex with a man be and three of my friends got caught up like that. What is world coming too. He did say your his soon to be wife. I have a lot more topics to read on your blog ttyl.

  9. Question for all the ladies what does love mean to you. Blogger you seem to be very cold hearted. The comment about having a broken heart is part of life. I believe that a relationship is only at a dead end if both parties don’t want to make it work. I still heart broken from a year ago. What happen to let’s make it work? What happen to I love you and you love me I’m going to give you my all. Ladies and blogger if your man is good why not make it work why not give him the chance to make it work. I’m still upset and cry over this woman she is my life and I mean that. What can I do to get her back?

    • Kendrick,

      Let’s try to stay away from name calling its immature.

      You have a right to your opinion and because you don’t know enough about me only read my blog so no offense taken.

      If I never accepted that having my heart broken was not a part of life I would be one bitter woman who never trusted another man. Yes, having a broken heart is a part of life just like DIVORCE, DEATH etc. no way around it and being COLD has nothing to do with it…That is LIFE. Stop taking things personal…I had no idea your heart was broken. Nor was my comment directed towards you or anyone else. This blog is about my personal life, feelings and experiences which I experienced it all and nobody did it for me…hence I know first-hand.

      Indeed it takes TWO to make any relationship work;
      That’s exactly why you let a person go if they want out.

      A year is a very long time to still be heartbroken and sometimes it takes longer for others depending on how deep they were in the relationship.

      Personally, I have gotten over my ex’s faster because I love myself more …Life is too short to dwell over someone that does not appreciate the person that I am.

      You answered your own question “What happened to let’s make it work?” Your answer “.I believes that a relationship is only at a dead end if both parties don’t want to make it work”

      There you have it…Both parties have to want it to work.

      • Kendrick I totally undersand why you felt that way….I promise that my heart is warm 🙂
        At my age, you get tired of the same stuff and you see BS from a mile away so being called cold-hearted is something I hear all the time…just because I refuse to tolerate the things I used to endure.

        What caused you to lose her in the first place?

  10. Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent. We talk about love being blind or unconditional, in the sense that we have no control over it. But then, that is not so surprising since love is basically chemistry. While lust is a temporary passionate sexual desire involving the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and oestrogen, in true love, or attachment and bonding, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals: pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. However, from an evolutionary perspective, love can be viewed as a survival tool – a mechanism we have evolved to promote long-term relationships, mutual defence and parental support of children and to promote feelings of safety and security.

    • From a scientific standpoint mixed with your personal views you are partially correct.
      I say this because love effects people differently even down to the chemistry aspect. Some folks don’t feel anything whereas others reactions to sex and love are heightened feelings and emotions.

      Lust is alive in well even between a husband and wife that’s what keeps the fire going. Lust is a strong sexual desire and there is nothing wrong with that with the RIGHT person.

      You lost me at love being survival tool….

      Although the technical terms used in your comments are true many people do have control over whom they decide to love the problem is they have no control over another person loving them back just the same or just as much.

      The moment you show interest in a person no matter the level you are in control…

  11. Yes I will share it with you. We dated for five years it was all beautiful at the beginning I wasn’t that serious about her at first. As time went along I fell in love with her. I told lies that really damage our relationship but I’ve grown older and wiser so I have learn from that mistake. She said I would cum to quick during sex but we both attended classes and l learn how to relax doing sex and that problem was fix. But the problem was I would hangout with my friends not call or text there would be nights I didn’t come home. I she became numb. I agreed to give her some space and I did now I want to make her my wife. As a man I got side track like a lot of us do. I’ve join a church and I even join some of the programs to help you become a better man. I realize my mistakes I own up to them and all I want is that one chance. Before she left she said I was a good man but I need to change some ways and I have. I want to bring her back in my life and give her everything her heart desires. What advice would you give me? I hope your and your man get married. I saw the comment you posted. If he really loves you he will makes his wrongs right with god you and himself like I did.

    • Good Morning Kendrick
      Thank you for sharing. I hope you are having a great morning,
      The great thing about my blog is you can remain ANONYMOUS.
      I have to be honest with you…why would you keep a GOOD woman around for five long years and not propose? Sounds to me as if you two were never on the same page which is why you are in the position you are in now. In this day and time if you are dating someone and feel they are not wife material then you should keep it moving or tell them upfront that you have no plans to marry them.
      It’s about choices…most women live off hope and what will be…Lies are really hard to bounce back from this I know from experience. Some people lie their entire life and then one day it all finally catches up to them when they least expect it and it’s a dagger in the heart! The classes about the sex issues was a great move considering you aren’t married she could have cheated or just left but she stayed to support you…that’s a great woman right there!
      Not texting, calling or worse staying out all night is totally unacceptable on all levels when you are trying to build a foundation with someone. Maybe this was the time you were not really that in to her…Actions today determines your tomorrow.
      So now you want to make her your wife after you crushed her little heart and basically disrespected her? Hmmm? Let me think…I know what you are thinking…You are expecting her to come running back into your arms as if none of the above happened…NO SIR!
      You have lots of work to do brother…if she is willing to allow you back in her life. I am so proud of you for joining the church and wanting to become a better man. You are doing the right thing Kendrick!
      In life, we can’t hurt people and expect them to forgive us and take us back too!
      Just because a person decided to move on does not mean they don’t forgive you; the time between you has expired. Nothing is forever. This is not to say that she will never allow you back in her life; I don’t know that is for her to deicde.
      The downside to it all is that maybe you will have to be that better man for someone else. Maybe she came along to nudge you into the right direction and her work is done. What you had with her can be found in another woman. Pray on it and let go. I hope this helps.
      Straight form My Heart, Patrice.

  12. Good morning Patrice how are you? I stayed up all last night reading all your post and comments. This is nice blog I see it’s growing. I also realize there are a lot of people that really into your relationship. Which I think is good/bad I see your giving your own life experience when your giving advice which is the best advice. I’m a positive reader and thinker and always see the good in any thing and I never try to figure out were the wrong is. On your five your post I have some questions for you. Have you and him ever talked about marriage? If you did what was his response. There is a lot of love between you and this guy. I read his comment he’s is hurt and am impressed he admitted his wrongs. A man that lies will never admit to it but he confessed. That someone who is growing and will make a change for the better. By the way your the first perfect woman I’ve met thanks to him letting the world know in his comment. I hope you and him get married because he seems to be the your be equally yolk he understands your movement and understands your journey and he’s willing to take that journey with you no matter how bumpy it is. He that man I say make it work. He’s own up to his mistakes and want to make it right. Give him that last chance Patrice 🙂 hope to hear from you soon. Enjoy your Thursday. I’m a country guy me and my wife went thru the same thing I knew she wanted to get married so did I but going to the court house never crossed my mind until we split up for a week. I had to tell her I’m from the country when we get married in my family it’s in a church. I knew you could get married justice of the peace but it never crossed my mind. After I told her that she understood how I was thinking. But you can best believe after after we got back together we were married the next day lol 😉 . Cut us slow men some slack Patrice

    • Hello Jeff,
      First, I want to thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my blog and you actually responded to one of my post….thanks!
      I apologize for the delayed response.
      I can’t believe you stayed up all night reading my posts and comments no way! LOL did you really? If so, it must be some good reading. 😉
      I am doing great hope you are as well. This blog is far more than I could ever have prayed for. The response is overwhelming to say the least.
      There are lots of people involved true…it is both bad and good true…BUT I am not weak and swayed by what other communicate to me. I am my own woman therefore very capable of making my own decisions no matter what the variables may be.
      Thank you for agreeing that my advice comes from my own life experiences since some folks that read my blog don’t get that part just yet. NO matter how many times I tell them this is about MY LIFE they go jump off a bridge and twisting my words around.
      I had to add a disclaimer with hopes they will comprehend the fact that this blog is about
      PATRICE not them! I advise; which is not the same as instructing someone to do what is communicated…its ADVICE….
      We’ve spoke on marriage several times but nothing happened. He said he wanted to get married and that I would be his wife…but nothing happened.
      Admitting his wrongs is not for me….that will help him be a better person for himself. Admitting does not remove guilt nor repair damage. You can’t confess to a lie when a person already knew it was lies in the first place.
      I am not PERFECT….far from it since perfection does not exist.
      I may do things that a woman should do as far as taking care of her man in a perfect way but that does not make me perfect.
      Straight from my Heart, Patrice
      ***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
      I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
      All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
      The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.

      • Thanks for responding yes I did stay up reading it I want you and him to work it out. I understand everything you said and I know it’s more to the story that you can’t tell us. You are a perfect woman he called you perfect as a man I have to respect what he says about his woman 🙂 Do you love him? He made mistakes like we all do. I know you both can make this work. Let that man put a ring on it. Try this if you decide to take a break after about a month go on a date with him and see if you both can rekindle the love. Are you afraid to go to counseling because of the outcome? Was he that horrible as your man? You are a tough cookie and he love you. I bet he even loved you when you was the worse person ever but as men that’s what we do. Patrice make it work 😉 stop playing hard ball lol

  13. I got burn again last night girl. I figured this guy really like me boy was I wrong he only wanted to get in my pants. I gave him some last night and got a text from his this morning saying it want work:( I feel so dirty and crushed. I’m laying here in bed crying and hurt. Why do guys treat us so wrong. I cooked for him and all. Why do they hurt us so bad?

    • Resheeda,
      Sorry to hear that honey…I have a few questions for you.
      How long did you know him?
      What made you think he really liked you?
      Don’t feel dirty you were two consenting adults. Most guys “NOT ALL” just want to get in your pants that’s the reality of it…He didn’t hurt you alone you kind of helped in a small way…WE must accept the role we play in every situation. It’s ok to cry but I really hope you are feeling better this morning…You will be fine just get yourself together young lady…Whatever you do don’t let that situation make you bitter.
      Consider it his loss besides he may have done you a huge favor girl you never know…maybe he had somebody eles who knows and who cares…Let go! Smile sugar you will be fine 🙂

      • Yesterday day made six months before that I never gave him sex or head I kept him waiting. She stayed around me for six months and all I did was kiss him until last night. That what made me think he really like me plus he told me every night he loved me honestly it was like we were in a relationship for six months but no sex. What mistakes did I make please point them out so I want make them again. Im going to be 38 in two months and can’t find a good man what’s wrong with me. I workout five days a week I have a small waist big butt and these double D’s. I have a great job. I cook clean and cater to my man. Patrice what is wrong? Does your man have any cousins or friends that like him in good ways. I’m so hurt over this .

      • Resheeda,
        6 months is a long time. I made TW wait 7 months. The, I love you part hmmmm? People will tell you all sorts of things to get what they want.
        It sounds like he was playing the waiting game and was upset and planned on hitting it and leaving anyway. Who knows what he had on his mind.
        I wish I could tell you what you did wrong I have no clue….sounds like you did the right thing by making him wait. BUT did you really get to know who he was during this time?
        Rasheeda I doubt anything is wrong with you it’s just not the right man…don’t give up hope of finding a good man and do some serious soul searching on your part.
        Like who? Your hello kitty is fresh, right? Now, that will turn a man away fast…not to say yours isn’t fresh.
        The only way you will know what you did wrong is if you ask him directly.
        Straight from my Heart, Patrice
        ***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
        I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
        All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
        The purpose of my blog is to encourage others and in no way will I ever advise anyone to do anything because the decision is yours and yours alone.
        I advise this does not mean you make a decision based solely on what is communicated to you via my blog. My responses are based on “What I would do” if I were you based on my personal experiences.
        In the end, the decision in yours and something you will have to live with not me.

    • Guess the damage was done. I’ve been there before waiting up all night for my man to come home no calls, text in my past that is painful.
      You start to hate him after it’s done too many times.

      • Can I get her back. I know I should text or call even picked up when she called me. I messed up didn’t I?

      • Kendrick,
        I don’t know the answer to that question my dear…I would need to speak with her. You must go to the source. She is the only one that can give you the answer to your question.

        Straight from my Heart, Patrice
        ***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
        I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
        All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
        The purpose of my blog is to encourage others and in no way will I ever advise anyone to do anything because the decision is yours and yours alone.
        I advise this does not mean you make a decision based solely on what is communicated to you via my blog. My responses are based on “What I would do” if I were you based on my personal experiences.
        In the end, the decision in yours and something you will have to live with not me.

      • Kendrick,
        My dear she has to want you back too. All you can do is ask her it’s that simple. Keep asking just don’t be pushy…Tell her you will wait for her to decide.
        Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
        I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
        All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
        The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.
        Straight from my Heart, Patrice

  14. This is so true as humans we can make a huge mistake if we let our angry get the best of us. When we are angry and numb that clouds our judgement that could lead to us turning our happiness into sorrow. Because of Patrice and her words I got my life back on track and the man that I loved and played his wife for seven years are taken our relationship to the next level. I left him because I was upset angry mad all the above but the comments they gave her and told her to stay made me realize he is not perfect but he is man that wants to change what more can we ask for. Some men can’t change and are stuck in there ways.

  15. Hello sis I see you have been busy. I hope all is well your way. I just want to say hello and I’ve been praying that things workout with you and him. I gave my co workers your blog address 🙂

    • Hello James! How is my buddy doing?? Yes, my dear I have busy with work and LIFE.
      Thanks for checking on me…Thank you for your prayers.
      You are the best for spreading the word about my blog…who could ask for more?

      • That comment was straight from your heart Patrice I felt every word you said. I saw his comment that man loves you also. He has more courage than half the men I know to admit his wrongs to the world. I can throw bible verse at you all day that can tell you stay and work it out. I understand you are not married but I did see you said he got you a ring. With that being said go talk to someone to make sure this is not a mistake after all you said your life hasn’t been easy but it’s seem you and this man have made some positive impacts in each other life and built a strong foundation and made some progress in life together. It doesn’t seem he made you back paddle in life and you didn’t make him back paddle if you both were moving forward that’s because god saw something special in you and him as a couple. Why let the devil destroy this. As a man of god I’m coming to you to say you and him talk to someone please do this for me. I’m neutral party and I feel something special here. Hope to hear from you

      • King Dame,
        If a murderer admits guilt does that make him a better person? The fact that he killed someone will never change or bring that person back to life.
        A liar is no different…if a man truly loves you he would never continuously tell lies. We all lie big deal but all the dang time?
        You see, when we first met he started off telling lies.
        I hung up the phone after he was caught in the act and vowed to never speak to him again but I did…guess what? 6 years have passed and he was still telling lies…
        Do I forgive him? YES! Does that mean I have to stay with him to prove my forgiveness? NO!
        We all lie but when it gets to the point that it damages the relationship then we have huge issues.
        Once I said, “If you lie to me again, its’ over” and more lies followed then you must think I am a joke.

        ***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
        I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
        All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
        The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.
        Straight from my Heart, Patrice

      • This is something to think about. The devil was once a angel. How do you know this is not the devil playing games on you trying to send you false signals tell you to leave six years of a strong foundation. The devil is great at his job he is giving you all the signs so you can be unhappy and miserable with him. All I want is for you to seek help get some counseling before you give it up. We are gods angels sent to give and show you signs that you should not give up on this. All that is wrong or make you unhappy can it be fix? The bible says we should not think with our emotions. I’m headed to church I will send you another message when I get out.

      • King Dame,
        That’s my favorite quote and is my cover photo “quote” on my FB page…so I am full aware of the devil and the games he plays and has played in my life. I know when he is busy with me…You see, he likes to confuse me and he can’t and won’t win because I pray and am closet to a higher power more than ever before. I can’t do this thing called life alone…
        I also know that all that glitters isn’t good…I see what’s really going on not what I hope for…I am a realist.

  16. I have sacrifice my own happiness for my woman happiness for years. When your in a committed relationship thats what couples do. If you have a man that sacrifice his happiness for you Patrice stay and make it work. Put that anger aside find a common ground you and him focus on each other. Attend church together keep the devil away and everything you want in him god will bless you with.

    • Reggie,
      Thank you for taking time out of your Sunday to respond and most importantly read my blog.
      I am sorry to hear that you are not the only one that sacrifices your happiness for the sake of others in a relationship. It’s not something that I would be proud to admit…considering that in a relationship both parties should be happy; then what exactly is the purpose?
      If that’s what couples do I want no parts of it. Either we are BOTH happy or the heck with it.
      Again, I am not angry. Life has taught me to be more objective when it comes to making life decisions…
      I will not allow my heart to lead me alone.
      Straight from my Heart, Patrice
      ***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
      I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
      All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
      The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.

  17. Good morning patrice how are you? Just wanted to say nice blog real life topics. I wish you didn’t have put you and your boyfriend problems on the blog. You have open the book so the devil to come in a ruin something that is special that god created. You may be mad and he may make not make you happy at this point but that’s something you both can work on. I know people do it everyday but don’t throw your five years away.

    • Hello Betty,
      I am doing great, thank you for asking! Hope you are well too 🙂
      Thank you for reading my blog and you got that right REAL life topics…it’s all about me!
      I took a huge chance sharing my life but felt it needed to be shared…So many females are
      going through the same issuse but are ashamed to talk about it…I am not.
      You have a right to your opinion but this is my life and I don’t care what people think about me.
      I know deep in my heart that my blog will changed someone’s life for the best; just knowing they are not alone.
      The devil can read my open book all he wants because he no longer has any control over my life.
      A problem is exactly that…no big deal we all have them…Lastly, I am not “mad”. if you saw me you would never know
      this ordeal ever happened.

  18. Hello Patrice how are you I’m so upset right now. You gave me some advice I was having some issues with my man so I decided to take a break to make sure he was the one for me. I decided I would work it because he’s a good man and we can work on the issues. Why when I sent to see him he had another bitch in the house. When your on a break from someone does that give you the right to have sex with another woman. I figured a break is we are still a couple until we both make up our minds we are just apart to make sure this is were we want to be. I’m so hurt right now. Help me please

    • Rita,
      I am sorry to hear that but I NEVER gave you any advice to take a break…I simply told my story that is it. If he had another woman in the house then you know the answer to your question as to what you need to do going forward. I wanted break and I can ONLY speak for myself to clear my mind. If another woman comes into the picture or man in mine then it was simply not meant to be.
      Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
      I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
      All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
      The purpose of my blog is to encourage others not intended for you to do as I do or say as I say.
      Straight from my Heart, Patrice

  19. A lie is a lie. We all lie. I see he realize his mistake and I’m pretty sure he’s ask god to forgive him and yes you may forgive him. First step to fixing the problem is to identify the problem which he has. I can bet he’s working on fixing that. I will agree yes that did some damage but I’m pretty sure there have been worse things that others may have done and you stayed to make it work. I don’t know all the problems but know if you when to counseling I bet that can show you all the good and can help fix the problems and continue to make your relationship grow. Is he a man of god? Do you and him attend church together? Since he’s confessed his sins.

    1 John 1:9 ESV

    If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

  20. That is a true quote sister. The devil is working in our life even when we don’t feel it or see it. I will say your a smart woman. Yes you are perfect cause he said it. I know he’s hurt and so are you. If he is a real man he will give you the space to think. I know you have forgiven him for his lies. You have a man that’s not perfect and with you in his I bet you have motivate him to reach goals that was impossible. I bet he has loved you for who you and he have you back no matter what. Life is funny we date and one person doesn’t do what we are use to from the last relationship so we are always missing something we can never get it all in one person. I will tell you this he is the man you need he wants to change and he cherish the ground you walk on. He seems like the type of guy that doesn’t fuss or argue. If you have someone that wants to make it work why throw it away when you can patch up the wrong and and build to make that patch unbreakable?

  21. Patrice no man is perfect. With that being said why not work and make it right? I’m hard on my man as well but how can you give up on something you love so much? Woman to woman let’s show the world we can build with our men and not give up on them. When it rains it pours on our men let’s be that umbrella to protect them.

      • I know that feeling. I understand exactly when you say your worn out from trying. I like to read book on relationships and love. I’ve read over two hundred books in every book there is the same message absence makes the heart grow founder. I’m not a expect on love or relationships but I’m like you I give advice only if I have gone thru the same situation. I know you get tried of your blog buddies telling you to say make it work when we don’t know all the facts. One thing I’m say for the most part we are all positive adults here and we learn a lot from other peoples life and experience. I’m from the outside looking in a I read your hurt in your message and the way you comment is your defense against them. Your like me in life my words are my defense I can curse you out and belittle you without saying one curse word I bet your the same. I will share this story with you I’ll chop it some to make it short. I have a friend she met a guy dated fell in love with him. He’s a great guy works hard help her pay bills all the things we love about men. She in school getting her degree because he made it easier for her to focus on school. Three months ago she game and said girl I need your advice. We talk she tells me my man is not making me happy in bed. I asked has it always been like that she said no. I told her you both are lazy as humans we all get lazy :). My advice was plan a night of just you and him no kids. Cook dinner in something sexy. After that tell him to run run your bubble bath and you both get in the tub even if it’s small make it work. Lay on him and you both enjoy the moment let him was you and you wash him. After you get out let him lotion you down by the time he’s finish with you he’s ready to go. I said be patient because the first round will be fast because he excited. You work him up to the second round and after that you both be happy needless to say I was right ;). I’ve come to find out a lot of men get very excited when they have sex they can’t control it but if they learn to relax everyone will be satisfied. They even took some sex class. Some of us may say sex classes I don’t need that go to one and I bet you will change your mind the things they teach and show you as a couple 😉 Patrice after the advice I gave her she stayed and is happy. I know this isn’t your case. She was about to leave him when I told her to stay. I know you love him and your missing his smell and the little things he do. I think your chapter with him isn’t over yet. He tells tons of lies but if he loves you I bet he’s asking for help and trying to change. In life we are always being tested some pass and some fail I can bet you and him will reunite as one again.

      • Hello Tawanna,
        I wish that was our problem but it’s not…WE have far bigger issues than SEX. I love your comment thank you so much!
        You are a joy and a great friend for telling your buddy how to fix her issue! You don’t have to be an expert experience is the BEST teacher.
        Have a blessed day!!! As for TW & I…Only God knows.

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