Listen with Your Heart…

Most of us are not the best communicators when it comes to relationships but we can learn how to improve. The only issue with that is if the other person is not receptive to what you are trying to express to them. They either shrug you off; or start a petty argument for no reason which is a red flag.

Patience and understanding is the key to many of our woes in life. You have to be willing to be receptive to how others feel. Learn to listen with empathy and acceptance when a person tells you how they feel.

It’s beautiful when someone cares enough about you to let you know that you hurt them or you made them feel unappreciated. Sometimes we don’t realize how callous we can be towards someone who truly cares about us. Learn to be gentle and handle a person’s heart with care.

Every time you push someone away it causes a void that will never be filled with the fear of them feeling that pain again so they slowly distance themselves from you until they are numb.

One day you will wake up and they won’t care anymore.

Straight from The Heart, Patrice

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56 thoughts on “Listen with Your Heart…

  1. Hello Patrice how are you? I love your blog. Question for you. I know your on a break from your man does he still call you and text everyday like you are still together? I’m on a break from my man but I hear from him everyday and it’s pushing me away from him. I know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder but he doesn’t get it is there a way I can explain it to him? Help me.

    • Hello Nicole,
      Thank you for reading my blog!
      No need to explain anything just don’t respond. This is just my personal thought on this matter do what you feel is best.
      Sometimes actions speak louder than words 🙂

  2. The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her. Why leave a man that loves honor cherish and wants to marry you? I know you said he asked but his action wasn’t there. It’s better late than never sister. He’s not perfect but he’s perfect you five years that means a lot. I lived your two years in a relationship if not married I’m out. I’ve been divorce twice. Today makes ten years and I’m not married. As I reflect on my past the guy I should of married and who I would still have been married to I let go because of some of the same reason you mention and commented on in this post. This is my life and I lived that two year relationship/marriage way of thinking. It’s looks and sounds great but in reality it didn’t work for me. You may have better luck at it. I just wanted to share my story with you. Today I’m 48 years old. Did this man bring you excitement in the relationship? Did you miss him when you were apart? Five years that means he must have been on his job if not I’m pretty sure you would not have been with him unless you was just using him. You seem like a woman that has high standards.

    • Hello Candice,

      Thank you for reading and commenting on my blog. Please don’t take offense to my response I am a straight shooter…But I honestly mean no harm 

      I would like to first address the issue of anyone assuming that I used that man…I have two jobs and NEVER asked him for anything. If I did it was petty cash and it was paid back most of the time.
      I am a hard working young woman who is driven and don’t need a man to assist me in life financially.
      I don’t use anyone since I would not like to be used…When he first moved in with me he did not have a job and I held the fort down so whoever thinks I was using that man you need to crush that assumption.
      Nobody, helped me earn my degree I did it all alone. I was attending College long before he came in my life and it was a long hard struggle!
      Why leave a man who loves and cherishes me? Ok, it’s like this…If a man feels that way about you he would never allow himself to keep you around for several years and not marry you.
      This is how I feel and nobody can tell me that I am wrong. If others want to continue to settle and hang around with hopes that he will marry you 10 years later GO FOR IT! THAT IS NOT FOR ME….
      I settled long enough based on my standards alone… I will not share the inner secrets of our relationship since I’ve shared more than enough…so I am not ignoring your other question just chose to not answer them.
      I left because I was not HAPPY period it’s really not that complicated. Five years means I settled nothing more. Candice who really wants to be out here in this jungle? I had to decide that it was totally fine to be alone until a man comes along that really wants me to be his WIFE not GIRLFRIEND FOR 5 PLUS YEARS.

      I let go because of reasons other than the waiting period that will never be revealed…Again, I don’t use folks period not my character.

    • Hello Candice hello Patrice I comment a few days ago but I guess I offend you that’s why that comment wasn’t posted. Candice you make a lot of since I know Patrice at she is like every other human when we get settle in our ways no one can tell us anything. The brother gave her a break that’s what she wanted so that shows he’s not a crazy man that would try to force her to stay. But again why let your soulmate go. As a man we give women what they want so they can be happy and that’s what he did. They say if you love something bad let it go if it’s yours it will come back. I know Patrice she ain’t going back. She already with another man and is moving forward. Patrice you claim you want put his business in the streets but some of your friends have. If you were 100% LOYAL no one would know you and his business. You can stop with all that I want tell his business you already have.

      • First of all, they are not my friends “obviously”. I was tricked thinking I could confide in those heifers when they were haters the entire time. Guess what? They better run with what they have because there will be no more information fed to them going forward. I don’t know you and if I do only God can help remove folks like you and them from my life. Soulmate? Really? Only a moran would leave someone that makes them happy and that’s not me!
        I see nobody can be trusted with any info. that’s sad…assume what you want and whatever I decide to do going forward is nobody’s business that’s for sure won’t be posted on this blog…It’s really sweet that a man is in that circle that gossips about me and feels compelled to post on my blog. Tell all those fake heifers to GET A LIFE! Miserble people make me sick. You may hide behind this blog and pretend to be my friend but GOD sees all and you will answer to him IF you don’t worship the devil. Just beat it whowever you are and leave me alone. I am sure some picture of me and a guy standing together will pop up soon…I am not talking to anyone that I thought were my friends about anything….smh
        You can’t trust anyone!! That is exactly why I started this blog. DO NOT TELL YOUR BIZ TO THESE HEIFERS AND SWEET MEN…JUST COME ON MY BLOG AND ASK ME. POW!

  3. Ladies I need some help. I wasn’t happy in my last relationship with man. So I left him and it’s been six years since I left. I’ve been doing me and the only thing I’ve gotten was better sex. Now I’m thinking of going back to him because I rather have a man that treats me right and love me than to have a man that can only give me good sex. Any ideas on what I should do. I’m 44 years old I don’t have time for the games these dudes play.

    • Shanice I don’t think he will take you back after 6 years besides he may have someone else now.
      I am sorry that you haven’t met anyone that treats you right and just wants to have sex that’s awful.
      However; there are plenty of great guys out here you just haven’t bumped into one yet.

  4. You needs somebody to can be equally yolk you need someone that understands your movement that understands my journey someone that’s willing to take that journey with you no matter how bumpy it is that’s the right person

  5. What’s up James the laws of power that’s a great way to live your life. I know people that has become very powerful and wealthy living by those rules. It a wild walk not every man or woman can handle that pressure. Relationships are what you make out of them. We all are differnt and handle our love and feelings different. This may seem crazy to a lot of people. My bestfriend was in love with a woman but they ended up breaking up and he said he would never love another woman because he never want to feel that hurt and pain again. It’s been fifteen years and still is single. I think that hurt and pain made him a better person in a way. He became a mulitmillionaire and he owns three successful business. All the pain and hurt made him focus on life and credit it all to a broken heart. I always ask him will he ever get married or date another woman he says dame I’m not a weak man but I can’t give 100% of me to a woman because I can’t handle being hurt again. What advice can you give to a man like him. What kind of love did he have for her? I at first I was like you will get over it and start dating again but fifteen years later he single and afraid to date. Patrice what do you think. Can he be help or did she break so bad that it can’t be fix.

    • Hello Dame,
      That’s a very interesting story that you shared.
      Seems to me that hurt drove him to be successful but all the money in the world can’t buy you true love.
      Something somewhere went wrong in the relationship.
      A woman, well…a mature intelligent woman would never leave a good man that loves her with all his heart unless something is truly wrong in the relationship.
      It’s sad he can’t get over his ex because that love he longed to have but lost is out there but he will never chance it again.
      Love like anything is a gamble and you can’t be afraid to lose!
      Shame on him but he is being a punk about it. 15 years is more than enough time to recover for the average person…I’ve been so hurt by a man before that it felt like the air was sucked out of body…I cried so hard my eyes were swollen shut.
      I know that pain very well when you cry so hard that you no longer make a sound.
      Life goes on you must live and love!

      • Lol I call him a punk about it too. He been on dates and dated some of the most gorgeous and intelliegent women the world has to offer. The ones I met and I would ask what happen it seem everything was going good they all said he afraid to comment and that he’s not giving them 100% of his heart or he backs out. I’ve always heard there is about 5% of men and women when there heart gets broken they can never love or trust again or allow another person to get that close. It’s sad when that person is a kind hearted person. He paid for about ten kids to attend college great man but scared to love. He’s over his ex I don’t understand why he’s being a punk.

      • Y’all women can really do damage to a guys heart. Women always have the last laugh

    • Dame I have a female friend and she is the same way. She been single for 12 years and says she will not date another man until Jesus tells her the guy want break her heart. She is a great woman but she afraid of the hurt and pain. I wish I could find a way to help her also.

  6. Hello Patrice how are you? Hope your week has been better than mines.This goes out to both men and women. Please believe what you do in the dark does come to light. Karma is real. When you reach the age of 30 plus years if your man or woman isn’t satisfying you. Leave before you cheat. You may think your covering your tracks and she or he want find out somewhere some how they will. No real man cheats on a woman and no real woman cheats on a man. Your next relationship your partner may cheat on you. It’s real out here let’s grow up people. I’m staying home this weekend no phone calls are texts.

    • When you aren’t married you can pretty much do and see who you want. Nobody owns no one period.
      If you hack emails you deserve to find what you were looking for. If you snooping in phones reading text oh well seek and you will find.
      Grown people see and have sex with who they choose because they are not married.
      If you tell your partner there are issues and she/he does not fix it what do you expect? Sometimes you have financial ties that keep you there longer than you want.
      You can not tell a weak man or woman “hey, I am having sex with someone else”
      I can see who I want until I have a ring on my finger!
      If I choose to not see anyone else that’s a choice.
      A real man or woman does what makes them happy and could care less about what others think.

      • Why be in a committed relationship if you can do what you want? In that case why not just tell the person hey I’m going to have sex with other men or women until you put a ring on my finger. You should not hack a person email or snoop in there phone that’s just wrong. Clearly there are trust issues if someone does that. How can you love a person when your sleeping around. Patrice is this you I’m talking to I’m surprise by your comment.

      • It’s me don’t be shocked by reality.
        I never said I condone that type of behavior but it happens all the time more so with married people.
        Maybe when you are not married you should see who you want this does not man have sex..then maybe there will be a demarcation between marriage and having a sex partner.
        I will not judge anyone or force my personal feelings on how others should behave.

      • What exactly is committed? Promising to be true? That is a big fat joke…do you realize that people cheat on eachother 24/7 this does not mean sexual intercourse alone…going ot lunch, texting, or just entertaining the idea of another man/woman?…I am a realist Regina and will not sugar coat anything…it’s called LIFE no fantasy over here.
        I’ve heard men say that their wife makes them totally happy but they still CHEAT! That make me want to vomit because it’s greed and sinful.
        Regina, when you are an adult you don’t have to tell anyone anything or own them nothing.
        So why tell them “Hey, I am going to have sex with other people, but you know I Love you, right?” LMBO!! You can love a person but not be into them sexually…why does sex have to be associated with loving someone?

  7. Patrice when I’m with a man I don’t text or go to lunch with another man. If your a man and you wanna have lunch with me that’s fine just know my man is coming with me. I don’t have any men calling or texting my phone when I’m in a relationship. The men that do text are my family. That is a committed relationship. Everyone put so much on sex. Sex doesn’t pay my bills. Sex doesn’t put money in my bank account. It takes two people to have a strong relationship. I want someone who’s going to be there when it’s good and when it’s bad. Fight for my heart like I’m fighting for yours. Let’s take on this battle together. We always fall in love because he’s saying the right things. Fall in love with someone that does the right thing. I want a man to tell and show me he loves me. Walk with me hold my hand thru the good and bad don’t just give up a relationship fight to make it right.

      • Thanks Im glad that made since to you. How’s life and your weekend Patrice? How you and your boo is working things out. Why does sex seem to be the number one thing in a relationship with a lot of couples? After you give me the great sex what’s next? How can we build a life off of great sex? Here is a true story I broke up with this guy cause I really thought we wasn’t sexually compatible. He was a good guy treat me with respect love me and cared for treat me better than any other man I was with. Just the sex wasn’t right. I gave up now that I’m older I realize I should helped him instead of leaving him because if we had to get that fix I would been happly married. I rather have a good man than good sex.

    • Regina I’m a man and I love sex but I agree with you. Sex don’t pay my bills or build my bank account. F_ _k sex let’s build wealth and health. I want a lady that will stick with me thru all my hard times. Patrice I never realized how much and often we cheat on each other until you pointed that out. My first time on your blog I like it so far. I hope you and your man fix the problem. I bet once you and him have time apart you both will realize the mistakes you both made and will do whatever it takes to fix the problem. My parents always told me if you find someone that loves you and will do whatever it takes to make you happy why leave them? Have you ever dated someone and your friends start to hate you and your relationship that shows you was doing something right.

      • Brad thanks for reading my blog and happy to know you like it thus far 🙂
        I agree with your comment but sex is a part of a relationship. But you have some folks that aren’t sexual beings and I believe that is mental power being able to downplay your sexual urges when it’s natural.
        Yes, people hate on relationships even the ones you least expect.

  8. Good afternoon Patrice how are you? Regina that was a well written comment. Patrice you are right we cheat everyday and don’t realize it. I’m the male version of Regina. I’ll admit sex get boring when your in a committed relationship. We have to create ways to keep the spark going. If we don’t that’s when we start to think we are not sexual compatible. When you find that man or woman who will die for you make it work because that kind of love is hard to come by.

  9. Patrice how are you? I need your advice I was at our men’s church group. I will admit in these meetings it gets ruff and we hear all kinds of story’s and men crying etc. I met this brother down to earth but he going thru major relationship problems. He lied to his girlfriend and now they are going there separate ways. He’s been crying and wants to get back with her but I don’t know what to tell him😞. I talk to her and she said she is feed up. I feel if he gives her some space to breath and think things could work out between them. I’m asking you because I know your kind of going thru the same thing.

      • He lied about a number of things. He told her he doesn’t give out his number to other women and he does. He told her he doesn’t talk to other females and she found out he spends time on the phone with other women. He said he hasn’t kissed or had sex with another woman but he’s done these things. I told him that’s cheating. He agreed do you think this can be fixed?

  10. Hey Patrice how are you? Ladies no matter how much you think your pussy or head game is the bomb or how much money you have a guy will still cheat. He has to be ready to settle down. If he’s not committed to you don’t be surprise when he cheats on you. Men you can have the biggest stick and best sex game but if you don’t treat a woman right she will leave. Most real women just want to be treated with respect and like a queen if you can’t do the simple things let her go. After awhile the sex wears off and she looking to be treated like a queen.

  11. How do know if you have the right man or woman in your life? We all can listen to your heart but our hearts have lead us to be with the wrong person over and over. Our hearts have lead to a lot of couple getting married and being with the wrong person. How can we tell if our mind heart and feeling are playing tricks on us? When we leave someone how do know your doing the right thing? What if leaving turns out to be a bad decision and he or she was the right one for you? I read this story about a couple that were together but broke up. She married another man and he married another woman. Once the married life settled and all the hoopla was over the sex got boring and life became boring. They both ran into each other and started talking about married life when they realize they should off been married to each other. They both got divorces and got married and they have been married for twenty five years and are still happly married. How can we prevent ourselves from going thru this? I mean that story has me thinking maybe my ex the one said I would of married is the one but I listen to my feelings and angry get in the way. Tell me what you think.

    • Hello Dear Regina,
      You don’t know if you have the right man or woman in your life…you can only assume, hope and pray that they are. However; there are clear indicaitons in many cases that are RED FLAGS that SHOW you without a doubt if they are the one for you. We also have a GUT feeling that many decide to ignore…My heart never really lead me to the wrong person it was always lust that ruined me…People get married because they want to and for selfish motives whether it be finances or love…it’s a choice.
      You are the only one that can play tricks with yourself nobody else is in your head but you and maybe the devil…That couple has a unique story that does not apply to your life or many others that is rare but possible…what worked and did not work for them does not fit into everyone’s life.
      Each story is a special case although there may be some connections there is always this one component that seperates them from others.
      You can not prevent LIFE from happening and we would not be human if we did not make mistakes….I refuse to live in he past now if you feel like going backwards by all means do so.

  12. Is listening to our heart really worth it? Why does our heart keep getting broken if we should listen to it? How brain and hearts keeps getting broken why listen to it. Our hearts and way of thinking could have ruin our chances with the man that was right for us. How do we know if we are making the right decisions.

    • When I wrote “Listen to your Heart” it means to use your emotions along with your intellect to decide. You can never just simply use your heart alone (emotions) to make choices. Brains get broken LOL too funny…ruin your chances with a man you will never know was for you in the first place so why worry about something you will never know? You don’t know you just decide and that is what life is all about taking chances period.

  13. When it comes to our heart do we actually listen to our heart or are we listen to what everyone else says and making a decision. Are we truly asking god for direction? The signs that we see are they signs from god to tell us to move on or is it miscommunication. We want out of something so bad that we think those signs are telling us to leave when we need to fight the fire. What relationship or marriage doesn’t have any problems? How many married couples has never had any problems? I know it’s hard but fighting the fire is what god may be looking for us to do because like Patrice said we aren’t spring chickens. No one is perfect but he or she may be perfect to you. Sometimes we leave a situation that we thing is bad and moving into one that’s even worse than the one we left. Now we have more stressed build up on us.

    • Hello Brad 🙂

      I can only speak for myself. If I am not happy that has nothing to do with anything or anyone but me.

      I am responsible for my happiness.
      I don’t have time to “fight the fire” I am tired of fighting. Life is not complicated we make it that way and this includes relationships.

      God isn’t exactly speaking to me nor am I looking for signs from him; it’s how I am feeling that tells me if I need to stay and fight.

      Nobody ever said that we won’t have problems in every relationship but let’s be clear; there are some issues that are just not worth fighting for or there are some folks not worth fighting for.

      I am good and doing just fine. I have no regrets with any decisions that I’ve made because it was not decided overnight. My choices were not emotionally charged. I did what was RIGHT. I did what made me happy.

      After a while you get sick of sacrificing your happiness for the sake of others.
      You don’t have to move into anything just give yourself time and if it does not work out end it ASAP!!

      Don’t waste many years “fighting the fire” then one day realize 10 years have passed and all you’ve been doing was fighting…That is just CRAZY!!!

  14. Nice blog Patrice I took my time and read all your subjects some if them hit close to home. I’m Regina friend. I hope things get better between you and your man. Like they say if you love something let it go if it comes back it was meant for you. A lot of us let lust run our heart and makes us think we are in love. Lust cause us to let men dog and use us. Here we are looking stupid fighting for that man love when he has got what he want. Some of us have a good man at home he loves us treats us right but we are in the streets cheating because he doesn’t satisfy your sexual needs. I will tell you this ladies I will settle for a good man that willing to fight for my love show me he loves me and willing to build a future. What good is a man with good dick if that’s all he’s good for? This is my story so ladies learn the difference between love and lust? Most of these men lust us after they had sex with us a few times watch how they change up. Do you want really want a man like that or do you want a man that’s going to love you. We say we are not happy but have we ever looked into our life and relationship to point out what is making us unhappy? If we look deep inside yea the guy can be the cause of it but guess what it takes two so some of it is our fault also. Let’s not play the blame game.

    • Hello Tiffany,
      You guys crack me up! Whoever said or where in my blog does it read that good sex rules? I don’t allow men to dog me never did…Any man that I was ever with is either in it 100% or it’s understood that we are just having sex…really not that complicated. It’s when these women get caught up in their feelings thinking the guy loves them when they just love to have sex with them…I fought over a man ONCE and never did it again! It was the worst feeling ever and I felt like trash afterwards…I am 43 years old and only did it ONCE! I am better than all of that mess. I don’t blame anyone since I am responsible for my own happiness I just make moves to improve my life…and penis is not the answer.

  15. Patrice funny you mention lust me and my friend was talking last night about lust. Lust can cause you have sex with a person that you think wants to be with you but reality is all they want is sex. The problem with lust is when we are in a relationship and lust settle in we have sex with another man when this man gives us the best sex or what we been missing our hearts and mind get confused. That’s when the person we are in relationship with we think there is something wrong with them but it’s us because we aren’t in having sex with them anymore because the guy we lust is who we want. Lust can ruin our happiness.

    • Good Morning Regina,
      My purpose was not to be funny trust me. If you don’t know if someone wants to be with you verses just wanting to have sex with you then you are naïve for better words.

      I know when someone just wants to screw me no matter if they promise me the world.
      I know exactly what lust is and what it feels like.

      Sex is NOT that important because it will not pay the bills; so honey you don’t have to school me on that topic. I know what I want in a man and if he has everything to offer and has whack sex I can deal with that totally…it’s when you have a whole bunch of other bull crap to go along with more bull that I will NOT deal with. Why does sex have to be the main topic? Why can’t the person just be a messed up individual who is not for you?

      I have had enough sex to last me a lifetime…I am good trust me.There is nothing wrong with having lust in your relationship when you are a healthy happy couple with no drama. IJS With all this disease stuff going on out here I am not pressed for sex…that is the least of my concerns.
      You are funny…

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