A few people requested that I write about trusting when it comes to relationships. This is going to be really hard to write about since it is hard for me to trust as well. Sometimes I don’t trust myself and wonder if there will ever be someone in my life that I can honestly say that I trust 100%. What’s funny is a cheater never wants to be cheated on.
People always say without trust you have nothing but in the back of our minds we all have doubts which I call our survival instinct.
The worse part about that “doubt” is that it hardly has anything to do with the person we are currently with. That doubt is a direct result of what someone has done to us in past relationships that haunt us for the rest of our lives that we attempt to suppress. We have all been hurt one way or another when it comes to being in a relationship and you gave them your heart.
This young lady in particular mentioned that every one that she ever dealt with cheated on her! Lust is an evil thing and is hard to resist
Now she is engaged and is about to drive her fiancée insane with her insecurities. Whenever someone text or calls him she wants to know who and why? He happened to have female friends before he met her that are supposedly strictly platonic but she is still not comfortable with him engaging with the opposite sex on that level. This is not off to a good start since it is totally healthy to communicate with the opposite sex with respectful boundaries set in place of course.
I didn’t have time to ask her whether or not she had proof that all of ex’s really cheated. I find it hard to believe that all of them cheated on her but it is very possible. Exactly how many times can you trust someone with your heart when you have been deceived and hurt repeatedly?
You have to keep trusting until the next person you decide to be with proves otherwise; never accusing them of anything without solid proof. Never go digging for dirt what is meant for you to know will come to light without any effort on your part on anyone else for that matter. Some things are better left alone without you ever knowing. Is this the person I want to really be with? This is a very important question you ask yourself before you decide to cheat.
Sometimes hurt people tell LIES because they want you to hurt always remember that. This is not to say if a person knocks on your door and says “I am sleeping with you partner” that you don’t take them seriously. You must always ask the accused first before jumping the gun with your emotions.
Let’s say that maybe they did sleep with this crazy person on your doorstep; take a moment to think about what exactly drove them to go through such extremes that they felt you had to know. People make mistakes and this means that sometimes they may “cheat”…is this a forgivable sin? Yes, when you think about the fact that you two are not married in the first place and want to build a life together indeed it is forgivable. If your mate decided to have unprotected sex with someone than that is another story and very reckless.
Cheating for many is a way to find out if the person you are with is who you ultimately want to spend the rest of your life with. Sounds crazy but if you have no need to cheat or desire to be with anyone then you have your answer.
I’ve had situations that looked really bad but I really didn’t do anything wrong…but once I was grossly accused there was no coming back from that. When you know deep in your heart that you love a person and would never cheat on them but they accuse you that is extremely damaging.
Then you have situations where a person did in fact cheat. What does that mean? It is time to look into what you may lack that caused them to stray or maybe they are just greedy and have no self-control. You have to really sit down and think about what happened and what may have caused it to occur.
Ask them if cheating is something they can’t resist or do they believe they will ever cheat again? What can I do to make this never happen again besides leaving you? Be prepared to hear the truth…ask for the truth! You don’t need to be protected from the truth in order to be destroyed later.
People don’t often want the truth they just settle for the appearance of the truth.
Straight from My Heart, Patrice McCullough
That’s a hard one P. I do think you can trust again though. You and your mate have to communicate more. ( Not you) but anyone in a relationship. Talk about for instance, is there something I’m not doing that you feel I should be doing, or something that irritates you..and on and on.. I mean a person who is cheating has to be saying they aren’t doing this or that any more for them to be cheating or like you said, just greedy. No one wants to work anymore towards bettering (don’t think that’s a word but) the relationship. It’s easier to leave. It’s going to take work to rebuild anything that has been destroyed..but you have to be willing to Work at it.
Nice response thank you! I agree with you totally…once you destroy trust with a person it’s hard to rebuild it.