I Got My Baby Back!
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Monthly Archives: May 2014
Imperfect Me! But I learned…
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I see you! Thanks for reading my blog…
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When They Don’t Love You Back
Sometimes we meet people and fall in love with them not having any idea how, when or why it happened. It may not be romantic love in the beginning. You may love the way they look at you or the sound of their voice…as time goes by you begin to fall in love with the very essence of their presence.
The most important person to love more is you; never stop loving yourself chasing after the hope of what will never be. They will either love you or they won’t. “I can grow to love you” or “You are someone who I can easily fall in love with” are the things you need to hear and they must show you as well. If someone ever tells you that don’t love you and most importantly never show you then you need to really think about what you want.
You are not in the business of healing broken hearts or people with a shattered hurtful past. Tell them to go away and check back in with you when they are ready to love you like you deserve to be loved and that is unconditionally.
Having someone love you to the moon and back is a feeling that I can’t explain. You don’t have to be afraid to give them your all and hand over the key to your heart.
You know deep down inside that they will never leave you because you are the only one for them and you don’t want to be with anyone else but them just the same. You may try to venture out but then you begin to compare them to others and they will never measure up in a million years!
Sadly, there will be people that come into your life that will not feel the same way about you no matter how much you try to win them over. If you have to put in too much work just so a person will love you it’s not worth it. Be careful of the needy, crazy folk that move fast trying to get you to go through extreme measures to be with them. They are simply caught up in the moment and must realize that love does not always happen overnight or at first sight although it has happened many times before.
People who act in haste never taking time to really get to know you are those you need to be leery of. The man that truly loves me knows my favorite ice cream, color, my likes and dislikes, why I need time alone, understands when I don’t feel like talking, will never yell or curse at me, accepts me with open arms even when he’s upset with something I may have done or said, cuddles, tells me he loves me every single day, makes sure I am ok in every way within his power and never desires to be with another woman.
I never realized how good it felt to be loved to the moon and back until it was gone. Be careful not to let go of a pot of gold for rocks sprayed with gold paint.
Where Are The Good Ones?
We always say “where are the good ones?”
But when we get a good person in our life we rip them into tiny pieces dissecting all their flaws.
The problem is not with them it’s with you being afraid of being hurt.
You see yourself falling for them or maybe you have already fallen.
Next every excuse in the book is conjured up on reasons why you shouldn’t stay. Somehow you tell yourself that settling isn’t an option when in fact the person is ideal for you in many ways.
Finding the perfect mate is nearly impossible compromising within reason is how you make the two of you being together “perfect”.
If a person goes over and beyond to prove their love for you how could you opt for a person who won’t give you the time of day?
Then we wonder why the end result is disastrous as we watch our life pass by each day wondering why our true love never knocked on the door.
They knocked but you were too busy letting the person you have no future with in the back door.
I’ve seen in so many men’s eyes the desire to have a woman to love, cherish and give them everything within their power but they give the wrong woman a chance.
Giving my all and caring for the wrong man isn’t something new to me. I’ve been down that road and it’s an empty feeling that can’t be put into words.
All you can identify is the hurt and disappoint of time lost.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to sit in a quiet room to reflect on your life. Ask yourself why do you keep choosing the wrong person or why do you allow yourself to be chosen by the wrong person who means you no good.
We must use common sense over lustful emotions moreover the hope of what will be that will never come to pass.
Stop trying to love a person that will never love you back! Learn to love someone that loves you unconditionally.
You are not settling you are doing what makes perfect sense.
Otherwise you might as well get in a car with no gas and wait for it start.
You can’t get out and push it because you have your whole life ahead of you.
Dead weight…get rid of it.
Go with the one that loves you.
Get in the car full of gas and push the pedal to the metal.
LISTEN
People will tell you about their past and some of what they tell you will be rather disturbing.
Being supportive to an individual you care about is certainly admirable.
On the other hand; you can’t allow them to drag you into rut loosing yourself in the process.
The most important aspect of it all is that what they tell you will explain why they have behavioral issues amongst a host of other character defects.
Only the strong are resilient enough to not allow the past hurts destroy future happiness.
You can’t fix a person who doesn’t want to let go of the pains of the past. Matter of fact you can’t fix anyone but “YOU”.
Allow the healing process to begin by crying, screaming to the top of your lungs or whatever works for you that is positive and won’t hurt anyone else.
Life is too precious and short to be unhappy. Sometimes we need to really think about our actions before actually taking that plunge that could alter our entire course forever.
You finally find the RIGHT person then you look for every flaw when they have so much good in them.
We act off impulse or emotions rather than using our mental capacity to weigh the pros against the cons.
Consequently, we fall prey to unhealthy relationships that we knew would never work.
He’s not weak, lame, pressed or stupid…
He’s a REAL MAN who knows what he wants and knows what he really has in a woman.
He’s never called me out of my name,yelled, struck or raised his voice at me. He has NEVER disrespected me. WTF was I thinking?!
Sometimes we don’t realize what we had until you find out that what you thought you had is some garbage. Things are not always what they seem and folks can pretend to be everything you want just long enough to bait you in. There is a reason why some folks are single forever and it’s not always by choice.
I consider myself blessed to have experienced the other side which made me realize that what I had was rare to find! Yes, I was angry and acted out like a spoiled immature adolescent because he did not ask for my hand in marriage after so many years. I am so far from perfect just as many of us are but to live and learn is a true blessing.
When I think about what I put him through who could perform under such stressful conditions! He had to be doing something right for me to stay with him for 6 years!!!
I had a serious relapse and have no idea what came over me. Never again! There are some serious bums out here that are mentally insane. We both were wrong and accept the role we played in our separation and now realize that there is nothing or no one out there for us.
I am willing to do everything in my power to make us work. He is willing to let the past stay there and not allowing anyone to come between us. We are moving forward never looking back.
Thank God for second chances…The best advice comes from those who have actually experienced the fire and lived through it.
Sex is Overrated Lovemaking isn’t…
Most folks would say that when a person says that “sex is overrated” usually isn’t getting any or never had mind blowing sex.
Well, that is not the case here and I am telling you that sex is in fact overrated! My Aunt used to always say “after the nut; then what?”
I understand exactly what she means now more than ever and yes it took a situation to occur for me to realize that sex should not be #1 on my list of things I desire in a man.
Don’t get me wrong, he must be able to deliver orgasms and I don’t care how it’s done just get it done!
Sex is supposed to be intimate and foreplay should start the moment you look into each other’s eyes and while you are thinking of them during your work day.
Touching, light kisses and cuddling just sets the mood. When you actually love the person and you get along over 90% of the time makes not sex but lovemaking beautiful.
I personally don’t want sex but want my man to make love to me which is on an entirely different level.
Anyone can have sex doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad it’s just SEX! Lovemaking is always excellent (Yes Indeed!) because this is the moment you and your mate become one to express how much you love each other 🙂 Of course it does not stop there…
The method of comparison will always bring unwanted issues into any relationship that has a good future. It’s totally mental and yes maybe Bobby Joe can work the middle a little better than Sammy Joe but who will be there after sex to love, respect, cherish, support you mentally and respect you.
Can you have both? Yes, you can but these days most folks both MEN and WOMEN just want a good screw anyway and anyhow they can get it and could care less about anything else.
Always… keep it simple never involving others. This will allow you to focus on the one who really loves you not those who just want to get their rocks off.
Just when you think you have something better it turns out to be a dud in a major way.
When you thought you were going from bad to better you actually went from GREAT to Horrific!
When the good outweighs the bad STAY where you are!!! It’s a jungle out here…
Patrice McCullough 