No matter how hard I try…

Reminiscing about my experiences attempting to develop a friendship/sisterhood is pointless.

Always judged in a negative light no matter how hard I try to be kind. Don’t let me get too much attention while in public…eyes start rolling and I’ll never hear from them again. #true story 

“I can’t compete with you” one dear friend said and it nearly broke my heart. Another person whom was never my friend told me that I need to give up trying to become friends with females because we don’t mix well.

That makes me a reject?  All the others critiqued every word and action as if I were under a microscope looking for flaws. Trying so desperately to catch their man getting and eyeful of me in a crowded room. 

I’ve been told by my sister that she’s caught a few of my false friends staring at me in a trance.

No matter how kind I am it’s never returned they just took from me and used me for their own personal gain.

It’s totally fine because I knew when to put all that abuse to an end. I will never change who I am just the people around me. 

Found out 20 years later that my so called close friend in high school talked about me like a dog to a mutual acquaintance. I never said one bad thing about her ever. 

I could go on! Most recently, another female I attempted to become friends with was bat shit crazy!  Like all of us we have our own set of issues….but this chick was over the deep end.

I’ll leave the details out giving one 

non-incriminating example…

She allowed another person to gossip about me to her and didn’t defend me!

As she explained the conversation it felt like my lip touched the ground while I looked at her feeling utter disbelief. 

Starting to believe that my frankness runs them away. If I stopped caring about my appearance maybe they would flock to me? Lol Let myself go and look a hot mess….

I would have to stop being who I am pretending to be what they want me to be. That will never happen…

Staying true to myself isn’t an easy task but I love who I am 😍

I am fine with  having one true friend…

Love you Margarete! 

 

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2 thoughts on “No matter how hard I try…

  1. Patrice I have gone through the exact same thing. Everytime I try to make new friends for some strange reason they always end up being jealous and stop talking to me for no apparent reason whatsoever. I will always ask is there a problem and naturally they would say oh no there’s nothing wrong, not being woman enough to speak up, I guess it’s because they have no real reason, stupid I know. I always find out that too many men are asking my name so I guess that makes them jealous because they’re not asking for theirs which is silly because I’m married they know I don’t want them why would you get mad at me? that’s the very reason why I only have 3 friends I honestly do not like women. I’m a pretty easy person to get along with and like you said I’m always nice thinking that our friendship is actually being built and it always ends up slapping me in the face. I Refuse to kiss anyone’s behind to be their friend and I won’t bend so that someone can like me so therefore I keep to myself cuz I don’t need that type of headache in my life. I don’t get it I have any problem complimenting another woman if she’s pretty or I like her outfit or anything about her but some of these women are so ridiculous it makes no sense I always let them know green is not your color.

    • It really is sad and it hurts but I get over it real quick. Thank you so much for sharing!!! I felt alone when it came to this area in my life (experience)
      I am the same way I can count on one hand how many real true loving friends I have. I chalk it up as we must be some kind of amazing!!!

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