I used to think I had boundaries. One day I woke up and discovered that I actually had zero boundaries. Naturally, the level of boundaries that I had set were so minuscule and didn’t account for anything.
I have allowed people to do and say things to me that placed me way outside of my comfort zone for more than half my life.
My focus was more on how I would make the other person feel versus my own feelings. I had to ask myself was it being compassionate fair logical or stupid?
I actually stepped outside of myself and assessed my life. Wishing I had done this sooner. I discovered that I had allowed so many people to take cold blooded advantage of me in so many ways. My thought pattern was well it’s never always about me or the world doesn’t revolve around Patrice.
In fact this is my world and anyone that comes into my world either respects my boundaries or they can side exit. I will no longer allow anyone to make me feel uncomfortable or force me to do anything that I don’t want to do. I will no longer explain why I simply said no or I feel bad about saying no.
It’s time for me to make Patrice happy for once in my life and not sacrifice my feelings for anyone ever again. No more licking my wounds like a sad puppy. It’s either my way or the highway and I no longer care how selfish that sounds because it’s time for me to be selfish.
It rings true that people only do to you what you allow but when you are looking through a lens of empathy and love it’s sometimes hard to see that someone is actually digging a ditch for you!
I finally have unconditional love for myself. Although, I have said many times before that happiness is within I finally realize how true it is.
I was never alone God was always by my side protecting and loving me even when I ignored him. I was more focused on pleasing man than God and still he showed me mercy by sparing my life. My Breast cancer battle proved to me that I have a purpose.
My purpose is definitely not pleasing man!
My purpose is being the best person that I can be and to love myself. I will no longer be so hard on myself accepting that I will make mistakes and learn from them!
I will only love those who love me and pray for those who don’t. Yes it’s a little late in life to have come to this conclusion however better now than never. The best part of it all is that I am still me. Of course I have matured and learned through my journey but my heart has not gone cold. I am.not bitter because of the pain and the disappointment experienced on a level that would have destroyed many.
God and my faith kept my afloat when the waves of life tried to drown me.
Lastly, my dear mother is everything to me!
It would be remiss of me not to acknowledge the fact that my mother is my rock. My mother has helped me tremendously through my struggles and has always been there when I needed her most in my adult life. I am truly blessed in many ways 🙏🏽