Hurt People

Good morning!

Thanks to everyone that actually took the time to read my blog.

Your support is appreciated😄
Some of the comments and especially the emails received brought tears to my eyes…

I’ve read some emails and actually broke down crying uncontrollably because I never knew there were so many hurt people.

Knowing that my words changed lives and encouraged them to not commit suicide is a feeling that can’t be described.

I’ve respected their privacy and they trusted me enough to share what was eating them alive.

All I can say is we must stop hurting people it’s really bad guys. Stick to the golden rule treat others like you would want to be treated.

You’d be surprised of how fragile some folks are who pretend to be strong. I can’t believe the mean things people do to each other not caring about anyone but themselves.

I’ve become a better person as a result of the many emails received realizing that I need to change.

I love everyone even those who hate my guts and did me wrong. To hate someone just isn’t part of my DNA.

Call me silly but hate is a strong emotion that eats at your spirit like cancer!!!

We have to care about how we treat others starting today!

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Blast from the Horrible Part of my Past!!! UGH!!

I am sharing this episode with you just to show you how busy the devil is. There are so many people who do not want my relationship to work!

A few days ago this punk I used to date texted me. It’s been over 10 years and I have no idea how he got my number. When I asked him how he got my number at least three times he never responded.
I changed my number from when we used to date and I have not seen him in years. He finally responded “God gave it to me”.

In the beginning, I had no idea who he was but once he revealed something to me that only we would know it was made crystal clear.

Be that as it may, I was not excited to hear from that loser at all. The reason why we never made it is because he wanted me and other women too! I don’t share so I moved on and that was the best thing ever for me.

I only wish whoever gave him my number would never do that again without at least informing me first.
The block feature is a blessing in disguise and you know he is now BLOCKED!
The last time I saw him some woman knocked on his door and he told me to be quiet…I wanted to scream to the top of my lungs “He has another woman in here!!”

But instead, I told myself that once I walked out that door to NEVER return and I didn’t.
I am so happy I didn’t settle for the “BS” because it allowed me to meet my baby who would never in a million years allow me to go through such a humiliating ordeal.

Just go away and leave us alone…there is nothing you can do to break us apart we are stronger than ever before.

He’s not weak, lame, pressed or stupid…

He’s a REAL MAN who knows what he wants and knows what he really has in a woman.
He’s never called me out of my name,yelled, struck or raised his voice at me. He has NEVER disrespected me. WTF was I thinking?!

Sometimes we don’t realize what we had until you find out that what you thought you had is some garbage. Things are not always what they seem and folks can pretend to be everything you want just long enough to bait you in. There is a reason why some folks are single forever and it’s not always by choice.

I consider myself blessed to have experienced the other side which made me realize that what I had was rare to find! Yes, I was angry and acted out like a spoiled immature adolescent because he did not ask for my hand in marriage after so many years. I am so far from perfect just as many of us are but to live and learn is a true blessing.

When I think about what I put him through who could perform under such stressful conditions! He had to be doing something right for me to stay with him for 6 years!!!

I had a serious relapse and have no idea what came over me. Never again! There are some serious bums out here that are mentally insane. We both were wrong and accept the role we played in our separation and now realize that there is nothing or no one out there for us.

I am willing to do everything in my power to make us work. He is willing to let the past stay there and not allowing anyone to come between us. We are moving forward never looking back.

Thank God for second chances…The best advice comes from those who have actually experienced the fire and lived through it.

Why Are You Searching for Stuff?

If you are in a relationship and you find that you are always searching for things to catch your mate cheating you need to reevaluate the situation.

You have reached an all-time low if you are searching his/her cell phone or reading their emails.
If you suspect them of cheating just ask! More than likely they won’t tell you the truth and that’s totally ok because the truth always comes to light; maybe not as fast as we would like it to be revealed.

People are going to do what they want to do whether you like it or not. You have two choices; that is…deal with it or LEAVE! No need in making a fuss or acting like a private detective. If there is no trust you have absolutely nothing to move forward with. Respecting someone’s privacy is a hard thing to do when you feel you have the right to know everything they are doing and who they are doing it with.

You DO NOT own them so back off buddy. Allow them to have a separate life and trust that they will set boundaries that will not allow you to be hurt or disrespected. I know it’s difficult to trust when you have been lied to and betrayed several times in your life. Until someone proves otherwise you must trust them!

Seek and you shall find just remember you are the one that went looking for stuff! Two wrongs don’t make a right…maybe you did catch them but you did not respect their privacy by searching through their things. Bascially you found what you were looking for; so now what are you going to do?

The Truth Stings Like Hell…

I always used to tell myself that the truth will set me free.
When I think about all the truths that were either told or revealed to me it makes me wonder if those truths really set me free. In fact, some of those truths made me feel like I was trapped in misery that seemed to take forever to overcome. Prayer helped me find the happiness that was once lost.

I’ve learned to never allow anything or anyone to steal my joy or to break my spirit when I realized I have power over my LIFE.
Words can truly hurt worse than a punch in the face since the sting or pain will pass in a very short time. The truth mixed with hurtful words can leave a wound in your heart and sometimes your soul; so deep that you may never recover.

No matter how much it hurts; give me the truth full throttle don’t hold back! I will respect a person that tells the truth over a person that pretends to love me in a bed of lies.
Some truths took the air out of my lungs and I began to feel dizzy wondering how in the world did I not see this coming? Dummy me; Blindsided by false loves before my real love came with the reality of a loving relationship that was ruined by my own doing.

Your past can ruin your future if you are not careful. We all must accept what happened in our past and move on knowing it was a lesson to be learned. Letting go of our past seems almost impossible since we have built a wall of protection with bits and pieces of our “hurtful” past being the foundation.

If we can only learn to turn the negatives into positives! Life is a journey that will not always be filled with sunshine. The old saying still holds true “Only the Strong will Survive” the weak will fall by the waste side allowing their past to destroy their future happiness.

They always say that over time the pain will heal but it seems to always become a permanent imprint on our life in some sort of way. It’s hard to forget that hurt even though you may not feel the pain anymore you can taste it right on the tip of your tongue. Allow that pain to become your strength…

Straight from my Heart, Patrice 🙂

You Were Smaller When We First Met!

How do you tell your partner “You have gotten too fat”? They usually know they have gained way too much weight and have either accepted it or become depressed so tread lightly.

Instead, you ask them to work out with you at the gym. Better yet take long walks with the love of your life. Long walks are a good way to spend quality time together. Get a cook book on how to prepare heather meals.

If a trainer fits your budget, hire one that will train you as a couple. The last thing you want is for your partner to become unattached to you because of excess weight gain. But if they met you already juicy and plump then you shouldn’t have any issues.

If your health becomes affected as a result of your weight then you have an entire different issue.
I never imagined in my life that my weight would be an issue and it is a battle every day.

Men usually have no issues with my new-found plumpness but I do!

I think before I eat, try to be consistent in the gym and refuse to buy larger clothes.
The stair master is a huge challenge but I feel accomplished after 15 minutes on that beast of a machine. My goal is work out for 30 minutes on the stair master and I am half way there!
Doesn’t matter if I ever lose another inch what matter is my HEALTH.

straight from the Heart, Patrice McCullough

Blinders of Hope

So many times we go into a relationship believing we can change that person to be what we want them to be.

You really can’t expect change overnight although for some reason we want miracles to occur.
If they were in the bar and clubs every chance they got when you met them; why get upset if they continue that same behavior? You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into but YOU chose to put the blinders of hope on that he/she would change.

There are many instances that the person was willing to change for another person immediately. Sometimes it takes the right person to make an individual want to change. There is the fear of losing them if they continue their reckless behavior therefore “they change”.
Never pressure anyone that you enter a relationship with to change right now or else…Ultimatums do not always work and will drive them further away from you.

You must be patient and communicate your dislikes and things that make you feel uncomfortable as a result of your partner’s behavior. If they really care about you they will change their behavior not who they are. The first time a person says to you, “I am not changing for you or anybody else.” You must decide on whether you want to deal with that response or end relationship.

You are in for a downhill battle to nowhere. If this person wants to hang out all the time and leaves you in the house that is a RED FLAG. Have a separate social life; that is totally fine if you both are respecting your relationship while you mingle amongst the wolves. This only becomes a problem if you never plan to spend time with your partner outside the bedroom.

I am confused when it comes to people believing that their behavior is directly connected to who they are. In my opinion, there is a disconnect; as well a direct connect when it comes to behaviors that become habits. Meaning changing behavior is far more of an easier task than changing the core of who you are.

Lastly, be open to the fact that your partner may want you to change certain behaviors as well. You both must be flexible if you want your relationship to blossom.

Disclaimer
***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others and in no way will I ever directly tell anyone to do anything because the decision is yours and yours alone.
I advise this does not mean you make a decision based solely on what is communicated to you via my blog. My responses are based on “What I would do” if I were you; based on my personal experiences.
In the end, the decision is totally yours and something you will have to live with not me. If someone told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you? If so, stop reading my blog. Thank you!
Straight from my Heart, Patrice