Why Are You Searching for Stuff?

Posted on April 30, 2014 by The Game Changer

If you are in a relationship and you find that you are always searching for things to catch your mate cheating you need to reevaluate the situation.

You have reached an all-time low if you are searching his/her cell phone or reading their emails.
If you suspect them of cheating just ask! More than likely they won’t tell you the truth and that’s totally ok because the truth always comes to light; maybe not as fast as we would like it to be revealed.

People are going to do what they want to do whether you like it or not. You have two choices; that is…deal with it or LEAVE! No need in making a fuss or acting like a private detective. If there is no trust you have absolutely nothing to move forward with. Respecting someone’s privacy is a hard thing to do when you feel you have the right to know everything they are doing and who they are doing it with.

You DO NOT own them so back off buddy. Allow them to have a separate life and trust that they will set boundaries that will not allow you to be hurt or disrespected. I know it’s difficult to trust when you have been lied to and betrayed several times in your life. Until someone proves otherwise you must trust them!

Seek and you shall find just remember you are the one that went looking for stuff! Two wrongs don’t make a right…maybe you did catch them but you did not respect their privacy by searching through their things. Bascially you found what you were looking for; so now what are you going to do?

The Truth Stings Like Hell…

Posted on April 20, 2014 by The Game Changer

I always used to tell myself that the truth will set me free.
When I think about all the truths that were either told or revealed to me it makes me wonder if those truths really set me free. In fact, some of those truths made me feel like I was trapped in misery that seemed to take forever to overcome. Prayer helped me find the happiness that was once lost.

I’ve learned to never allow anything or anyone to steal my joy or to break my spirit when I realized I have power over my LIFE.
Words can truly hurt worse than a punch in the face since the sting or pain will pass in a very short time. The truth mixed with hurtful words can leave a wound in your heart and sometimes your soul; so deep that you may never recover.

No matter how much it hurts; give me the truth full throttle don’t hold back! I will respect a person that tells the truth over a person that pretends to love me in a bed of lies.
Some truths took the air out of my lungs and I began to feel dizzy wondering how in the world did I not see this coming? Dummy me; Blindsided by false loves before my real love came with the reality of a loving relationship that was ruined by my own doing.

Your past can ruin your future if you are not careful. We all must accept what happened in our past and move on knowing it was a lesson to be learned. Letting go of our past seems almost impossible since we have built a wall of protection with bits and pieces of our “hurtful” past being the foundation.

If we can only learn to turn the negatives into positives! Life is a journey that will not always be filled with sunshine. The old saying still holds true “Only the Strong will Survive” the weak will fall by the waste side allowing their past to destroy their future happiness.

They always say that over time the pain will heal but it seems to always become a permanent imprint on our life in some sort of way. It’s hard to forget that hurt even though you may not feel the pain anymore you can taste it right on the tip of your tongue. Allow that pain to become your strength…

Straight from my Heart, Patrice 🙂

Blinders of Hope

Posted on April 9, 2014 by The Game Changer

So many times we go into a relationship believing we can change that person to be what we want them to be.

You really can’t expect change overnight although for some reason we want miracles to occur.
If they were in the bar and clubs every chance they got when you met them; why get upset if they continue that same behavior? You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into but YOU chose to put the blinders of hope on that he/she would change.

There are many instances that the person was willing to change for another person immediately. Sometimes it takes the right person to make an individual want to change. There is the fear of losing them if they continue their reckless behavior therefore “they change”.
Never pressure anyone that you enter a relationship with to change right now or else…Ultimatums do not always work and will drive them further away from you.

You must be patient and communicate your dislikes and things that make you feel uncomfortable as a result of your partner’s behavior. If they really care about you they will change their behavior not who they are. The first time a person says to you, “I am not changing for you or anybody else.” You must decide on whether you want to deal with that response or end relationship.

You are in for a downhill battle to nowhere. If this person wants to hang out all the time and leaves you in the house that is a RED FLAG. Have a separate social life; that is totally fine if you both are respecting your relationship while you mingle amongst the wolves. This only becomes a problem if you never plan to spend time with your partner outside the bedroom.

I am confused when it comes to people believing that their behavior is directly connected to who they are. In my opinion, there is a disconnect; as well a direct connect when it comes to behaviors that become habits. Meaning changing behavior is far more of an easier task than changing the core of who you are.

Lastly, be open to the fact that your partner may want you to change certain behaviors as well. You both must be flexible if you want your relationship to blossom.

Disclaimer
***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others and in no way will I ever directly tell anyone to do anything because the decision is yours and yours alone.
I advise this does not mean you make a decision based solely on what is communicated to you via my blog. My responses are based on “What I would do” if I were you; based on my personal experiences.
In the end, the decision is totally yours and something you will have to live with not me. If someone told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you? If so, stop reading my blog. Thank you!
Straight from my Heart, Patrice

How Can You Ever Trust Again?

Posted on March 30, 2014 by The Game Changer

A few people requested that I write about trusting when it comes to relationships. This is going to be really hard to write about since it is hard for me to trust as well. Sometimes I don’t trust myself and wonder if there will ever be someone in my life that I can honestly say that I trust 100%. What’s funny is a cheater never wants to be cheated on.

People always say without trust you have nothing but in the back of our minds we all have doubts which I call our survival instinct.
The worse part about that “doubt” is that it hardly has anything to do with the person we are currently with. That doubt is a direct result of what someone has done to us in past relationships that haunt us for the rest of our lives that we attempt to suppress. We have all been hurt one way or another when it comes to being in a relationship and you gave them your heart.

This young lady in particular mentioned that every one that she ever dealt with cheated on her! Lust is an evil thing and is hard to resist

Now she is engaged and is about to drive her fiancée insane with her insecurities. Whenever someone text or calls him she wants to know who and why? He happened to have female friends before he met her that are supposedly strictly platonic but she is still not comfortable with him engaging with the opposite sex on that level. This is not off to a good start since it is totally healthy to communicate with the opposite sex with respectful boundaries set in place of course.

I didn’t have time to ask her whether or not she had proof that all of ex’s really cheated. I find it hard to believe that all of them cheated on her but it is very possible. Exactly how many times can you trust someone with your heart when you have been deceived and hurt repeatedly?

You have to keep trusting until the next person you decide to be with proves otherwise; never accusing them of anything without solid proof. Never go digging for dirt what is meant for you to know will come to light without any effort on your part on anyone else for that matter. Some things are better left alone without you ever knowing. Is this the person I want to really be with? This is a very important question you ask yourself before you decide to cheat.

Sometimes hurt people tell LIES because they want you to hurt always remember that. This is not to say if a person knocks on your door and says “I am sleeping with you partner” that you don’t take them seriously. You must always ask the accused first before jumping the gun with your emotions.

Let’s say that maybe they did sleep with this crazy person on your doorstep; take a moment to think about what exactly drove them to go through such extremes that they felt you had to know. People make mistakes and this means that sometimes they may “cheat”…is this a forgivable sin? Yes, when you think about the fact that you two are not married in the first place and want to build a life together indeed it is forgivable. If your mate decided to have unprotected sex with someone than that is another story and very reckless.
Cheating for many is a way to find out if the person you are with is who you ultimately want to spend the rest of your life with. Sounds crazy but if you have no need to cheat or desire to be with anyone then you have your answer.

I’ve had situations that looked really bad but I really didn’t do anything wrong…but once I was grossly accused there was no coming back from that. When you know deep in your heart that you love a person and would never cheat on them but they accuse you that is extremely damaging.

Then you have situations where a person did in fact cheat. What does that mean? It is time to look into what you may lack that caused them to stray or maybe they are just greedy and have no self-control. You have to really sit down and think about what happened and what may have caused it to occur.

Ask them if cheating is something they can’t resist or do they believe they will ever cheat again? What can I do to make this never happen again besides leaving you? Be prepared to hear the truth…ask for the truth! You don’t need to be protected from the truth in order to be destroyed later.

People don’t often want the truth they just settle for the appearance of the truth.

Straight from My Heart, Patrice McCullough

Dear Stalkers…

Posted on March 29, 2014 by The Game Changer

To my beloved Followers who are positive, encouraging and sweet to me…please forgive the following statement…this is not directed towards you but the people who have been stalking and harassing me via cyberspace know exactly who they are! This has been going on since 2010…This will be my last response all future communication will go to spam and will be filed for later use if needed in a court of law.

Dear Stalkers,
I retract the comments that were posted because I actually feel sorry for you. You are a person that needs help. I will continue to pray that you find peace.
People who are bitter and confused often behave out of character but it’s actually who they are.

Miserable people tend to have a twisted distorted beyond repair outlook on life torn between what is right and what is wrong.
They strongly believe their actions are right when it’s clearly without a doubt wrong in so many ways. If your actions hurt someone how can that be right? We all are human and will make mistakes but when those actions are intentional it’s not a mistake. You mentioned you don’t care about me or TW then go away and crawl under your rock!

When you sit back and ponder plotting on how you can destroy someone’s life or at least try you have some serious problems. All the energy you put into bad mouthing me doesn’t hurt one bit because I have so much more good in my life that you become a little black spot that is wiped away mentally. Lies and truths mixed; really doesn’t matter. BTW~ you would be surprised who would put up with me and you better believe it takes a REAL MAN to do that not a PUNK.

You say you know where I work and that is supposed to scare me? You say you know where he works and if you go to his job he should put his foot so far up your arse that you should see his foot come out your mouth. The one thing you don’t do is bring drama to anyone’s job. The police have been notified and my case was assigned a detective that is not exactly on the job so I have to leave it to God to handle.

Besides, the vengeance that comes from the Lord is far better than any law or I could ever bring upon man. You can’t judge me for my actions idiot you are not GOD so take a seat and chill. Relax your deceitful angry soul. Easy huh? LOL Anthing that I do is because I want to…LOL Regrets? Indeed!

Once you finish dragging my name through the mud what else will you have? In time, all that you have done and said will be forgotten along with you. You hide behind a computer screen creating bogus email addresses with names that clearly show you are clinically insane. You threaten me every week commenting on my blog; contacting TW via phone and emailing…who has time for that crazy mess?…why drag it out do what you feel you need to do and leave me the hell alone!

You don’t matter to me and its obvious nobody loves you based on you devious behavior but God.
Why do YOU believe it is better to inform others about something that happened in the past when it is far better to just leave it there? Why fabricate stories or stretch the truth so that you sting a person’s soul? I am good and won’t be the one hurt behind your insanity. I love me and who I have become.
Are you happy now that you were given far too much attention than you deserve? Have a nice life crazy person…

Random Thoughts…

Posted on March 19, 2014 by The Game Changer

Once you accept that pain and disappointment has to be a part of your life you have built a foundation that will not allow you to be happy ever.

There is nothing wrong with having expectations but you must realize that most of the time people won’t live up to those unrealistic expectations that you feel are totally achievable and fair.
What it actually is, we want that person to be like “us” to do things the way we would like them to be done and that is wrong! It’s no better than forcing your religious beliefs on people. You must allow others to be who they are and adjusting to you will take time. You can only hope that the person you are with is open and can observe tension when it occurs in the relationship.

Pain associated with life is inevitable but it’s how you recover from that pain you will come out stronger or more broken.

Have you ever seen someone smiling during an argument or burst out into laughter during conflict? In your opinion you may perceive them as being crazy but realistically they saw the confrontation coming and have been down the road many times before. We have experienced the same stressors many times but tend to react negatively instead of learning from the other encounters and expecting a different outcome.

Stress kills and there is no way around the chemical effects that occur within your body however you can subside those detrimental effects by keeping stressors to a minimum. Your outlook and how you deal with any stressful situation will determine a positive or negative outcome internally and externally.

Straight from The Heart, Patrice (Patty Cakes!)

Listen

Posted on March 6, 2014 by The Game Changer

When we have concerns about things in life that seem to follow us everywhere we go that is a sign that you must start to look within.

We always want to point fingers and pass the blame on “external” factors never focusing on the “internal”factors that are the result of an unhappy lonely life.

Regardless of what you may believe; you do not know everything or all the answers to life itself.

You must be open and receptive to learn and understand more than one side of any situation. While having a discussion with someone and you constantly hear yourself saying “Well, no it’s not just that” “No, you don’t understand what I am saying” you are showing the other person that you have all the answers so why bother speaking to them?

You are also saying that they are not capable of comprehending what you told them which is an outright insult. You want other’s input but when you are given it you reject it.

Learn to listen more even when a person makes no sense to you at all…If you listen long enough you will begin to “understand” even when you do not “accept” what they are communicating to you.

Never reject what is being communicated to you without at the very least processing what you are hearing. The person you think is less intelligent than you are can teach you few things as well.

Fall Back!

Posted on February 28, 2014 by The Game Changer

Maybe if people knew my struggle and what I had to endure in my life they would understand who I have become.
Maybe if people knew my struggle they would understand why I don’t care what they think about me.
It’s not that my heart doesn’t care it’s my struggle that made me numb to hurtful slurs and attempts to deface my character.
If I told them they would use my past against me when I hold my head too high.
When I smile they would use my past to make me cry.
My struggle started from the womb up until now and I refuse to bow down to anyone who can’t accept who I have become.
I am living proof that there is a higher power.
After all the hurtful things that were done and said to me over the years I am still smiling and giving him praise for having my back 10000000000%
Jesus is all I need and the only way I will bow down.
All the others who seek me out to try and destroy me FALL BACK!

Thank You!!!!

Posted on February 23, 2014 by The Game Changer

Thank You!
This blog was created to allow people to ask their most personal questions without being “JUDGED”

You just can’t trust everybody with your business period…Here you can spill your guts because we have no idea who you are 🙂
This blog allows you to remain anonymous without having to worry about backstabbing, jealous, gossiping evil people talking behind your back after you trusted them enough to confide in.

I felt that airing a little of my dirty laundry would set the stage knowing this would be risky…but I didn’t care.
I want to thank each of you who took the time to not only read my blog but actually left a comment.

Positive, constructive criticism is always welcomed. Many of you have good hearts and are extremely mature and that is rare!

My following is supportive, intelligent and humorous! I am so grateful to have moderation capabilities that will not allow any comments to show up on my blog before I approve them…Spam is a blessing too!

If you only knew how many times I was grossly attacked via my blog your head would spin. What keeps me going is the GOOD PEOPLE on my blog…
AGAIN, thank you all for following me and spreading the word about my blog you are totally cool for that in so many ways!

Love you all no kidding
Straight form the Heart, Patrice

Patrice McCullough

Author, Blogger, Relationship Advice

Category Archives: Change