Category Archives: The Lies People Tell

When you finally wake up…

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How can a person that loves you and wants to see you be an annoyance? It is because you are really not interested in them nor have feelings. We all have our bad days and don’t want to bothered, I get that part, but that does not mean you stop loving on each other in spite of it all. It is you and I against the world not you and I against each other.

People have the tendency to either establish their love or prove they never loved you at all on a daily basis if you pay close attention. These standards are based on what you need at that time for them to prove their love. If they refuse then they never loved you. Love has no boundaries or self-doubt. When you love someone there is nothing that you wouldn’t do for them even if it means you forsake everyone besides God. You bare all, have no secrets because you become one. You feel their emotions and can sense when something is wrong. It becomes impossible for you to hurt them on any level because it would be like hurting yourself.

The feeling that I hate to experience is the hurt when you truly trust someone with your heart and they rip it right out of your chest before your eyes. Their eyes are cold as a stone and there is no warmth or love in their voice.

You believe that love has found you, lonely nights have come to an end, and at last, the search is over!

Then BAM! You wake up to who the heck are you and what happened to us? There was never an “us”. There was the hope of what could be.

The tricky part is that you were so caught up on the idea of being in love that you were blinded.
The red flags were all there waving and even smacking you in the face but all you saw was cupid while flying on cloud 9 with the newness of everything. The flipside of it all is we have some situations that when we finally wake up, we have missed the boat and allowed that one person to exit our life and they will never return. That one person that will and can only love you unselfishly but you are too busy chasing rocks and dirt when you have a treasure in front of you.

Years down the road you start to reflect and wonder why you never found true love and end up with this person you hardly know while hating their guts. Yep, the one ship you let sail away because you believed another individual was so much better when you had the best already.

We push real love away to have a false love that will eventually fade. We become weary or carry baggage and all that soul-sucking pain from previous relationships that we ruin our chance at TRUE love. At this point, I’d rather have a puppy. We inflict pain on ourselves by loving someone that is truly incapable of not only loving you they have yet learned what love is and how to love themselves.

Can I hold $20?

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Once we accept that people will not do what we expect them to do life will become less disappointing.

Deciding to help someone whether it is financial or not is a choice. For example, you lend a friend a few hundred dollars with the agreement of them paying you back, but if they decide for some reason to not return the money you may have possibly ruined a friendship.

Never lend money that you expect to be returned or that will place you in a financial bind. Hence, people ask to borrow money because they don’t have it in the first place.  Allow them to pay you back in small increments rather than asking for the entire amount returned since showing effort means so much.

Money is the root of all evil-and have ruined marriages just the same.  Remember if you don’t have the funds to give keep it in your pockets!

Love,

Patty Cakes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn to Cultivate Your Relationship…

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There will be a multitude of situations in life that you will need to cultivate like a harvest. This includes relationships. We want this prefect ready to go relationship with a person that is not categorized as “work in progress”.  In fact, the person who desires this perfect relationship and man/woman to go along with it all is the one with the most issues. Most people want what they are not or can’t offer. 

This does not mean you welcome a person into your life that cheats, and abuses you on all levels. Please don’t ever believe that people will change just because of marriage. They will be the same person they were prior to getting married. Change will only come if they decide on their own to make that change. You can’t change a person it is ultimately their decision. You will hear people say ,  “She changed me” nope buddy you made that change on your own. You decide to change because you knew that you wold lose her if you didn’t. “He changed me,”  Nope lady you changed on your own because you realized you have a good thing going with him. 

Relationships are very similar to building a house. You must have a strong foundation or the infrastructure will collapse. You must maintain your relationships and implement upgrades and improvements along the way within. Ever notice how dedicated most are to their jobs? They are loyal to the employer, remained employed over the years, received promotions because of this! The same should apply to your relationship. Be loyal, dedicated, respect each other’s time, produce, don’t make unnecessary mistakes and I could go on. Your actions mean everything. Don’t show up for work or scream at your boss and see what happens next. You will be fired…Life is so short that you really need to know that the right person needs a little cultivating. 

Have a wonderful day and I wish you a successful and healthy relationship!

Standards

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I ♥️ to write: 😊😂😂

I’ve noticed that so many women remain single because they have a “TYPE” of man they will only consider. There is nothing wrong with having standards when it comes to a man. However; try to make those standards less physical.

I’ll have to be honest, my husband was not what I considered my type.
I wanted a man that was 6 5″, Rock solid body, darn near wealthy, dark chocolate just to name some…my LUST was a long list. Those “types” treated me as if I meant nothing to them…I was a piece of meat.

They dogged me OUT!!! Every woman wanted them, he knew it and did not fear the LORD.

This is not the case with all men fitting the physical description. But the men I ran across were the worse 😡😁🙄

I had to be more realistic and focus on how a man treated me. What they had to offer and how they looked was less important.

Nobody wants to marry a bum….I get that. We all want an attractive face to look at but I prefer a beautiful spirit over it all.

My husband is darling and very handsome which is a plus but wasn’t a must.

Sometimes you have to cultivate your man! Plant seeds and support him….we demand and expect things that are not important.

Get back to the basics and build together, work out together and make your dreams a reality together!

False Sisterhood

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I’ve known this particular female for over 20 years and loved her like a sister.

Well, she sent me an invitation to her wedding, and it arrived two weeks after her wedding.
Ghetto mailman lost it post date was 30 days prior to wedding date on invite.

I kept calling and texted her to get the location and she NEVER responded.
Ok, over that now…I guess being a new bride to be she was busy.

It really hurt me to miss her wedding.

Several years later we connected on Facebook…I attempted to spend time with my sister like friend, so I thought- she was always busy or too sleepy to see me. I know, I should have taken the hint, but I refused to believe she was that fake and mean.

Then she told me, ” I can’t hang out with you, I can’t compete with you”
She hurt my heart since I loved her in spite of.

I don’t compete with anyone and why would she feel she had to compete with me? If only people would learn to love themselves better and that would totally eliminate insecurity.

I ran into her at the grocery store, and she acted like she saw a ghost…WOW!

Why Do People Cheat?

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That is the million dollar question! Each situation is different and there is no cure all to keep a person from cheating.

Before considering branding a person as a cheater you must be clear on what is exactly cheating?

If you are married and you have intercourse with another individual, that is beyond cheating! Heck, you have sunk to an all time low and should have your azz kicked!

Jesus is waiting at the gate ready to slam it in your face! He may give you pass but it better be a good explanation.

If you are just dating, sit your silly controlling self down please! Yes, you do have to start somewhere, and I understand that dating is where the foundation starts! However, you are not married so basically you can see and be with whom you choose…just be SAFE!

When you get “married” that is when all bets are off…If you really think you can’t keep your frank in your pants or your lily pad on lock then don’t freaking get married.

Be single and be a whore all your darn life instead of  telling lies tell the truth!

Let folks know up front that all you want is sex. It’s all about choices, and when you take that away from folks that makes them lose their mind!!

There are so many people who don’t want to be committed and lie just to get some of that hot pocket or sausage that it’s ri’dick”vicious. Yes, I made the word up :).

OMG! People will do the most just to get laid…so sad! Just be honest then you will never be labeled as a cheater, and even if you are given the cheating crown, you can honestly say, well, I told you so!

 

 

 

 

 

The Right Person; Wrong Time

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How can you make it the right time for the right person? Funny how we make it the right time for the wrong person unknowingly and mostly knowingly.

Sometimes we meet the right person at the right time and we don’t realize it.

When you are so caught up on yesterday and living in your past you allow the ship to sail away.
Always chasing after the wrong person when the right person is right there in front of you.

We meet the wrong person for the right reasons that we can’t see at the moment.

Seems crazy but we must accept that bad relationships allow us to learn what we don’t want while we find out what we actually want from a future healthy relationship. We should learn what it takes to have a loving and happy union.

There is always a lesson that comes out of both good and bad situations that occur in our lives.
Whether you have a take away from those situations is what makes the difference.

Why Hide Something Beautiful?

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Just when you think someone is your friend they prove otherwise. I must admit when I saw her post on Facebook it really hurt my little feelings.

Sometimes I can be overly emotional; however this is only when bamboozled into thinking you really care about me as a Human Being First than a friend.

For example; I post pictures of Timmie and myself on my page all the time. There are several posts that represent positive feedback not only about Timmie but about MEN being wonderful. Not all men are dogs or no good dead beat Fathers.

Funny I stumbled across a post that went against the “loving” activity on my page.
Her statement was valid however; not in my case at all. Just because your relationship/marriage was ruined as a result of social media does not mean that will happen to my relationship.
Only the strong survive who have REAL LOVE as the foundation of their relationship. Trust and loyalty means everything if you don’t have that you have nothing! Yes, we had to rebuild our trust now it’s solid as a ROCK!

There are just not enough positive things said about Black Men in general when it comes to relationships and being a parent.

I am beginning to think that if you are happy MANY people hate you and want you to be miserable with them. There are so many folks who lived a miserable life for as long as they can remember. But whose fault is that? Definitely not my fault you are miserable.

If you smile too much you are phony and don’t even think about being overly positive then you are annoying. Who in the heck came up with the statement “behind every smile is pain”? That is the most ridiculous thing ever! You better believe that if I am in “pain” I won’t crack a smile no way no how!
I just believe that being unhappy is a choice no matter the situation since it can always be much worse.

When GOD says YES…you already know!

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Whatever your religious system is you will not be judged by me.
I am moving towards living a life that is more pleasing to God. The closer I get it seems things become more difficult. On the other hand, I see so many blessings flow from the heavens and favor is shown towards me.

This does not mean I will go around throwing bibles at people trying to spread the word. But if you want to listen willingly to my story and how my life was saved so many times that would be a wonderful thing.
My story is not for you to gossip to others about what I chose to share since it would be my testimony not “putting my business in the streets”. The only way you would really know my journey and come to realize that the only reason why I am alive today is because of JESUS is from my story.
I don’t have to be PERFECT! I may curse and ask to be forgiven immediately after. I still have thoughts that are not pleasing to God and I ask him to forgive me for sinful thoughts alone as well.

I have done things that were awful and still asking for forgiveness just to make sure he heard me.
Actions and a thought can be sins.

The most beautiful thing about Jesus is he sees my heart and loves me unconditionally and this is the best feeling in the world. I know that I am doing something right when so many form against me and try to destroy my very existence and FAIL MISERABLY.
I have been kissed on the cheek. I have been hugged. I have been told “I love you” when that was my enemy saying “I hate you” and giving me the kiss of death. But I wanted to believe they loved me because I love them.

If you only knew how low people have stooped to make me look “BAD”. Who does that but the devil’s helpers? They tried to ruin my future with my soon husband to be…they actually contacted him! They wanted so badly for us to stay apart…sorry you LOST…..When every soul on this earth shouts NO simultaneously and GOD says YES…you already know!

A Stranger’s Heart…

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I was sitting on the bench waiting for a delayed train at Metro Center listening to music.
It seems that people will talk to you no matter if you have headphones inserted in your ears which seems to be a way of telling people you are trying to tune them out.
I am always aware of my surroundings so unfortunately this young lady walked towards me as I looked up and struck up a conversation.

The first thing that came to mind is “Why is she bothering me and does she not see that I am listening to music?”
Well, I took my earphones out of my ears and welcomed her conversation which was about the shoes on my feet.
Her eyes were bright and full of excitement as she complimented my shoes. Something told me that she had something more to tell me and it wasn’t about my shoes.
I motioned her to sit next to me. I kind of don’t like people standing over me while conversing and my feet were hurting a bit from wearing the same high heel shoes for over 9 hours so standing was not an option.

We ranted on about how shoes have evolved over the years and how fashion repeats itself. I welcomed her conversation and was just as excited that someone loved shoes just as much as I do. She knew the history of the high heel being created by a man who saw his wife reach for an object with her heals
lifted and thought it was sexy and that is how the high heel shoe was born!
The conversation shifted rather quickly and her eyes seem to drift off to a place of deep thought which had me worried. I thought “Oh goodness let me find out she’s about to hit on me”.

Out of nowhere she began to talk about how she’s never been married and always wanted to have children. I started looking for the train with hopes it would pull up soon but oh no the board indicated that there were still “Major Delays”. My day did not go so great and I really didn’t want to hear anything else she had to say I just wanted to listen to my music.
My heart became heavy when I looked at her again. She had this look of deep sadness that appeared on her face.
I thought to myself, “WHY ME LORD?” She began to share some horrific details about how every man she had ever been with cheated on her. The young lady was well-dressed, very pretty, great smile, slim build and very intelligent. But what was going on inside?

I listened and my mouth dropped open (rude me!) I just could not believe the things she told me that happened to her during those awful relationships. She allowed lots of those things to happen but she thought she was in love and they loved her…gee whiz!

The train finally pulled up and I sat there and didn’t move as if I were stuck!
Tears started to pour from her eyes as she apologized profusely telling me that she had to talk to someone it was just “one of those days” that she just felt like she didn’t want to live anymore.

I asked what her name was and I told her mine. “Nice to meet you Michelle” and shook her hand.
“You are a person that God loves with all his heart so when you say things like that it hurts him deeply”.
“You need to find love within and know that God loves you first and that is all that you need”
This is far too much for anyone to have to deal with and I wanted out fast… She replied, “I know”

For some reason I could not move!
She asked me what she was doing wrong and I replied, “Honey, I really don’t know”.
I had the nerve to start crying right along with her and I know we looked real crazy to everyone that walked pass us but oh well.
This lady was in a dark place and I could feel her pain it was really heart wrenching. “Are you sure they all cheated on you?” She replied, “Yes, there were only three that I have ever been with and trust me I am certain they cheated on me.”

I pulled out the tissues and handed her half of them as we wiped our tears this man leaned over and asked were we ok?
“Yes, thank you we are fine just talking about shoes”…he chuckled as he walked away.
We talked about lots of things but too much to write about and very disturbing as well.
My closing remarks to her were as follows… “Just because a man is having sex with you does not mean you are in a relationship and you must ask where you stand with him and hope he will be honest.”
“You have to look at how he treats you not what he tells you…never lose yourself in a relationship and become so dependent on anyone that you feel like life is no longer worth living if they decide to dump you.”
“I don’t know what you see when you look in the mirror but you are an absolutely stunning young lady that has so much to offer the right man, please pray that God will send you a mate”.
She needs to give herself time to heal from all the past relationships. Her sadness came from wanting to be married and have children. Michelle can’t have kids now but she can still become married to the right man one day. I will keep her in my prayers. WOW! That was tough…I swear to be nice to everyone as much as possible…you never know how much you can hurt someone.