When you finally wake up…

How can a person that loves you and wants to see you be an annoyance? It is because you are really not interested in them nor have feelings. We all have our bad days and don’t want to bothered, I get that part, but that does not mean you stop loving on each other in spite of it all. It is you and I against the world not you and I against each other.

People have the tendency to either establish their love or prove they never loved you at all on a daily basis if you pay close attention. These standards are based on what you need at that time for them to prove their love. If they refuse then they never loved you. Love has no boundaries or self-doubt. When you love someone there is nothing that you wouldn’t do for them even if it means you forsake everyone besides God. You bare all, have no secrets because you become one. You feel their emotions and can sense when something is wrong. It becomes impossible for you to hurt them on any level because it would be like hurting yourself.

The feeling that I hate to experience is the hurt when you truly trust someone with your heart and they rip it right out of your chest before your eyes. Their eyes are cold as a stone and there is no warmth or love in their voice.

You believe that love has found you, lonely nights have come to an end, and at last, the search is over!

Then BAM! You wake up to who the heck are you and what happened to us? There was never an “us”. There was the hope of what could be.

The tricky part is that you were so caught up on the idea of being in love that you were blinded.
The red flags were all there waving and even smacking you in the face but all you saw was cupid while flying on cloud 9 with the newness of everything. The flipside of it all is we have some situations that when we finally wake up, we have missed the boat and allowed that one person to exit our life and they will never return. That one person that will and can only love you unselfishly but you are too busy chasing rocks and dirt when you have a treasure in front of you.

Years down the road you start to reflect and wonder why you never found true love and end up with this person you hardly know while hating their guts. Yep, the one ship you let sail away because you believed another individual was so much better when you had the best already.

We push real love away to have a false love that will eventually fade. We become weary or carry baggage and all that soul-sucking pain from previous relationships that we ruin our chance at TRUE love. At this point, I’d rather have a puppy. We inflict pain on ourselves by loving someone that is truly incapable of not only loving you they have yet learned what love is and how to love themselves.

Can I hold $20?

Once we accept that people will not do what we expect them to do life will become less disappointing.

Deciding to help someone whether it is financial or not is a choice. For example, you lend a friend a few hundred dollars with the agreement of them paying you back, but if they decide for some reason to not return the money you may have possibly ruined a friendship.

Never lend money that you expect to be returned or that will place you in a financial bind. Hence, people ask to borrow money because they don’t have it in the first place.  Allow them to pay you back in small increments rather than asking for the entire amount returned since showing effort means so much.

Money is the root of all evil-and have ruined marriages just the same.  Remember if you don’t have the funds to give keep it in your pockets!

Love,

Patty Cakes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn to Cultivate Your Relationship…

There will be a multitude of situations in life that you will need to cultivate like a harvest. This includes relationships. We want this prefect ready to go relationship with a person that is not categorized as “work in progress”.  In fact, the person who desires this perfect relationship and man/woman to go along with it all is the one with the most issues. Most people want what they are not or can’t offer. 

This does not mean you welcome a person into your life that cheats, and abuses you on all levels. Please don’t ever believe that people will change just because of marriage. They will be the same person they were prior to getting married. Change will only come if they decide on their own to make that change. You can’t change a person it is ultimately their decision. You will hear people say ,  “She changed me” nope buddy you made that change on your own. You decide to change because you knew that you wold lose her if you didn’t. “He changed me,”  Nope lady you changed on your own because you realized you have a good thing going with him. 

Relationships are very similar to building a house. You must have a strong foundation or the infrastructure will collapse. You must maintain your relationships and implement upgrades and improvements along the way within. Ever notice how dedicated most are to their jobs? They are loyal to the employer, remained employed over the years, received promotions because of this! The same should apply to your relationship. Be loyal, dedicated, respect each other’s time, produce, don’t make unnecessary mistakes and I could go on. Your actions mean everything. Don’t show up for work or scream at your boss and see what happens next. You will be fired…Life is so short that you really need to know that the right person needs a little cultivating. 

Have a wonderful day and I wish you a successful and healthy relationship!

Standards

I ♥️ to write: 😊😂😂

I’ve noticed that so many women remain single because they have a “TYPE” of man they will only consider. There is nothing wrong with having standards when it comes to a man. However; try to make those standards less physical.

I’ll have to be honest, my husband was not what I considered my type.
I wanted a man that was 6 5″, Rock solid body, darn near wealthy, dark chocolate just to name some…my LUST was a long list. Those “types” treated me as if I meant nothing to them…I was a piece of meat.

They dogged me OUT!!! Every woman wanted them, he knew it and did not fear the LORD.

This is not the case with all men fitting the physical description. But the men I ran across were the worse 😡😁🙄

I had to be more realistic and focus on how a man treated me. What they had to offer and how they looked was less important.

Nobody wants to marry a bum….I get that. We all want an attractive face to look at but I prefer a beautiful spirit over it all.

My husband is darling and very handsome which is a plus but wasn’t a must.

Sometimes you have to cultivate your man! Plant seeds and support him….we demand and expect things that are not important.

Get back to the basics and build together, work out together and make your dreams a reality together!

False Sisterhood

I’ve known this particular female for over 20 years and loved her like a sister.

Well, she sent me an invitation to her wedding, and it arrived two weeks after her wedding.
Ghetto mailman lost it post date was 30 days prior to wedding date on invite.

I kept calling and texted her to get the location and she NEVER responded.
Ok, over that now…I guess being a new bride to be she was busy.

It really hurt me to miss her wedding.

Several years later we connected on Facebook…I attempted to spend time with my sister like friend, so I thought- she was always busy or too sleepy to see me. I know, I should have taken the hint, but I refused to believe she was that fake and mean.

Then she told me, ” I can’t hang out with you, I can’t compete with you”
She hurt my heart since I loved her in spite of.

I don’t compete with anyone and why would she feel she had to compete with me? If only people would learn to love themselves better and that would totally eliminate insecurity.

I ran into her at the grocery store, and she acted like she saw a ghost…WOW!

Why Do People Cheat?

That is the million dollar question! Each situation is different and there is no cure all to keep a person from cheating.

Before considering branding a person as a cheater you must be clear on what is exactly cheating?

If you are married and you have intercourse with another individual, that is beyond cheating! Heck, you have sunk to an all time low and should have your azz kicked!

Jesus is waiting at the gate ready to slam it in your face! He may give you pass but it better be a good explanation.

If you are just dating, sit your silly controlling self down please! Yes, you do have to start somewhere, and I understand that dating is where the foundation starts! However, you are not married so basically you can see and be with whom you choose…just be SAFE!

When you get “married” that is when all bets are off…If you really think you can’t keep your frank in your pants or your lily pad on lock then don’t freaking get married.

Be single and be a whore all your darn life instead of  telling lies tell the truth!

Let folks know up front that all you want is sex. It’s all about choices, and when you take that away from folks that makes them lose their mind!!

There are so many people who don’t want to be committed and lie just to get some of that hot pocket or sausage that it’s ri’dick”vicious. Yes, I made the word up :).

OMG! People will do the most just to get laid…so sad! Just be honest then you will never be labeled as a cheater, and even if you are given the cheating crown, you can honestly say, well, I told you so!

 

 

 

 

 

The Right Person; Wrong Time

How can you make it the right time for the right person? Funny how we make it the right time for the wrong person unknowingly and mostly knowingly.

Sometimes we meet the right person at the right time and we don’t realize it.

When you are so caught up on yesterday and living in your past you allow the ship to sail away.
Always chasing after the wrong person when the right person is right there in front of you.

We meet the wrong person for the right reasons that we can’t see at the moment.

Seems crazy but we must accept that bad relationships allow us to learn what we don’t want while we find out what we actually want from a future healthy relationship. We should learn what it takes to have a loving and happy union.

There is always a lesson that comes out of both good and bad situations that occur in our lives.
Whether you have a take away from those situations is what makes the difference.