Category Archives: Sex & Dating

What a F*ucking Loser!

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This can’t be happening to me..A seeker and destroyer has come out of the darkness to find me.

Some people don’t want to see me happy sad but very true. I am happy doing well with my man and we are moving forward letting nothing come between us. Then out of the blue…
Yes, another idiot contacted me today. “No Caller ID” a million times until I finally picked up.

“We need to talk” You can’t be serious!? There is nothing to talk about but you going away and never calling me again. He says, he’s moved on that is good so why are you calling me if you have “moved on”. OHHHHHHH! It gets worse! This crazy fawker had the nerve to ask if he could see me…I don’t think so buddy…why the hell would I want to see my past?

I live in the present and loving every minute of it then he tries to come and rain on my parade…that’s a darn shame. Misery loves company. I respect my man and will never do anything to hurt him ever again not even for all the tea in China. His love is worth more than Gold to me.

I am telling you this is crazy!!…People do you dirty in the past wait it out with hopes that you will forget the horrible things they did to you.
Totally convinced that there are some really clinically insane people out here that believe they are actually normal. Why is it that some people think they can do you dirty and you are supposed to act as if nothing was done?

It’s easy to forgive but hard to forget when someone rips out a piece of your heart. The nerve of them to try and attempt to speak to you when all you want to do is forget they ever existed.
Why pour alcohol in an open wound? IF you have moved on then MOVE ON!

This means don’t come to my job, email, text nor call…MOVE ON! Leave well enough alone.
When things don’t work out it was never meant to be and be happy that they are out of your life.

What a fucking loser!!

Hurt People

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Good morning!

Thanks to everyone that actually took the time to read my blog.

Your support is appreciated😄
Some of the comments and especially the emails received brought tears to my eyes…

I’ve read some emails and actually broke down crying uncontrollably because I never knew there were so many hurt people.

Knowing that my words changed lives and encouraged them to not commit suicide is a feeling that can’t be described.

I’ve respected their privacy and they trusted me enough to share what was eating them alive.

All I can say is we must stop hurting people it’s really bad guys. Stick to the golden rule treat others like you would want to be treated.

You’d be surprised of how fragile some folks are who pretend to be strong. I can’t believe the mean things people do to each other not caring about anyone but themselves.

I’ve become a better person as a result of the many emails received realizing that I need to change.

I love everyone even those who hate my guts and did me wrong. To hate someone just isn’t part of my DNA.

Call me silly but hate is a strong emotion that eats at your spirit like cancer!!!

We have to care about how we treat others starting today!

Blast from the Horrible Part of my Past!!! UGH!!

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I am sharing this episode with you just to show you how busy the devil is. There are so many people who do not want my relationship to work!

A few days ago this punk I used to date texted me. It’s been over 10 years and I have no idea how he got my number. When I asked him how he got my number at least three times he never responded.
I changed my number from when we used to date and I have not seen him in years. He finally responded “God gave it to me”.

In the beginning, I had no idea who he was but once he revealed something to me that only we would know it was made crystal clear.

Be that as it may, I was not excited to hear from that loser at all. The reason why we never made it is because he wanted me and other women too! I don’t share so I moved on and that was the best thing ever for me.

I only wish whoever gave him my number would never do that again without at least informing me first.
The block feature is a blessing in disguise and you know he is now BLOCKED!
The last time I saw him some woman knocked on his door and he told me to be quiet…I wanted to scream to the top of my lungs “He has another woman in here!!”

But instead, I told myself that once I walked out that door to NEVER return and I didn’t.
I am so happy I didn’t settle for the “BS” because it allowed me to meet my baby who would never in a million years allow me to go through such a humiliating ordeal.

Just go away and leave us alone…there is nothing you can do to break us apart we are stronger than ever before.

Bitter or Sweet?

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As I reflect on my life there is a new found understanding.
I have no room for senseless mistakes. I have no time to ignore the visions that are given to me as a warning to take a right turn instead of a left.
What if you were diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and only had a few months to live?

WE have to learn to live to be happy not live to struggle with emotions knowing a person isn’t truly for us if they are against us.

Could you honestly say, “Well, God here I come and thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful life”?
Why do we always make excuses for other people treating us bad when there is someone we rejected that will treat us like royalty?
Could you thank your mate for giving you time with them that was filled with love and happiness?

Yes, relationships have ups and downs but not to the point that your spirit is broken and you feel empty.

Love is filled with tears of joy not pain and don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise!

When They Don’t Love You Back

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Sometimes we meet people and fall in love with them not having any idea how, when or why it happened. It may not be romantic love in the beginning. You may love the way they look at you or the sound of their voice…as time goes by you begin to fall in love with the very essence of their presence.
The most important person to love more is you; never stop loving yourself chasing after the hope of what will never be. They will either love you or they won’t. “I can grow to love you” or “You are someone who I can easily fall in love with” are the things you need to hear and they must show you as well. If someone ever tells you that don’t love you and most importantly never show you then you need to really think about what you want.

You are not in the business of healing broken hearts or people with a shattered hurtful past. Tell them to go away and check back in with you when they are ready to love you like you deserve to be loved and that is unconditionally.

Having someone love you to the moon and back is a feeling that I can’t explain. You don’t have to be afraid to give them your all and hand over the key to your heart.
You know deep down inside that they will never leave you because you are the only one for them and you don’t want to be with anyone else but them just the same. You may try to venture out but then you begin to compare them to others and they will never measure up in a million years!

Sadly, there will be people that come into your life that will not feel the same way about you no matter how much you try to win them over. If you have to put in too much work just so a person will love you it’s not worth it. Be careful of the needy, crazy folk that move fast trying to get you to go through extreme measures to be with them. They are simply caught up in the moment and must realize that love does not always happen overnight or at first sight although it has happened many times before.

People who act in haste never taking time to really get to know you are those you need to be leery of. The man that truly loves me knows my favorite ice cream, color, my likes and dislikes, why I need time alone, understands when I don’t feel like talking, will never yell or curse at me, accepts me with open arms even when he’s upset with something I may have done or said, cuddles, tells me he loves me every single day, makes sure I am ok in every way within his power and never desires to be with another woman.

I never realized how good it felt to be loved to the moon and back until it was gone. Be careful not to let go of a pot of gold for rocks sprayed with gold paint.

Where Are The Good Ones?

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We always say “where are the good ones?”

But when we get a good person in our life we rip them into tiny pieces dissecting all their flaws.

The problem is not with them it’s with you being afraid of being hurt.
You see yourself falling for them or maybe you have already fallen.

Next every excuse in the book is conjured up on reasons why you shouldn’t stay. Somehow you tell yourself that settling isn’t an option when in fact the person is ideal for you in many ways.

Finding the perfect mate is nearly impossible compromising within reason is how you make the two of you being together “perfect”.

If a person goes over and beyond to prove their love for you how could you opt for a person who won’t give you the time of day?

Then we wonder why the end result is disastrous as we watch our life pass by each day wondering why our true love never knocked on the door.

They knocked but you were too busy letting the person you have no future with in the back door.

I’ve seen in so many men’s eyes the desire to have a woman to love, cherish and give them everything within their power but they give the wrong woman a chance.

Giving my all and caring for the wrong man isn’t something new to me. I’ve been down that road and it’s an empty feeling that can’t be put into words.

All you can identify is the hurt and disappoint of time lost.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to sit in a quiet room to reflect on your life. Ask yourself why do you keep choosing the wrong person or why do you allow yourself to be chosen by the wrong person who means you no good.

We must use common sense over lustful emotions moreover the hope of what will be that will never come to pass.

Stop trying to love a person that will never love you back! Learn to love someone that loves you unconditionally.

You are not settling you are doing what makes perfect sense.

Otherwise you might as well get in a car with no gas and wait for it start.
You can’t get out and push it because you have your whole life ahead of you.

Dead weight…get rid of it.
Go with the one that loves you.
Get in the car full of gas and push the pedal to the metal.

He’s not weak, lame, pressed or stupid…

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He’s a REAL MAN who knows what he wants and knows what he really has in a woman.
He’s never called me out of my name,yelled, struck or raised his voice at me. He has NEVER disrespected me. WTF was I thinking?!

Sometimes we don’t realize what we had until you find out that what you thought you had is some garbage. Things are not always what they seem and folks can pretend to be everything you want just long enough to bait you in. There is a reason why some folks are single forever and it’s not always by choice.

I consider myself blessed to have experienced the other side which made me realize that what I had was rare to find! Yes, I was angry and acted out like a spoiled immature adolescent because he did not ask for my hand in marriage after so many years. I am so far from perfect just as many of us are but to live and learn is a true blessing.

When I think about what I put him through who could perform under such stressful conditions! He had to be doing something right for me to stay with him for 6 years!!!

I had a serious relapse and have no idea what came over me. Never again! There are some serious bums out here that are mentally insane. We both were wrong and accept the role we played in our separation and now realize that there is nothing or no one out there for us.

I am willing to do everything in my power to make us work. He is willing to let the past stay there and not allowing anyone to come between us. We are moving forward never looking back.

Thank God for second chances…The best advice comes from those who have actually experienced the fire and lived through it.

Sex is Overrated Lovemaking isn’t…

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Most folks would say that when a person says that “sex is overrated” usually isn’t getting any or never had mind blowing sex.
Well, that is not the case here and I am telling you that sex is in fact overrated! My Aunt used to always say “after the nut; then what?”

I understand exactly what she means now more than ever and yes it took a situation to occur for me to realize that sex should not be #1 on my list of things I desire in a man.
Don’t get me wrong, he must be able to deliver orgasms and I don’t care how it’s done just get it done!

Sex is supposed to be intimate and foreplay should start the moment you look into each other’s eyes and while you are thinking of them during your work day.
Touching, light kisses and cuddling just sets the mood. When you actually love the person and you get along over 90% of the time makes not sex but lovemaking beautiful.
I personally don’t want sex but want my man to make love to me which is on an entirely different level.

Anyone can have sex doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad it’s just SEX! Lovemaking is always excellent (Yes Indeed!) because this is the moment you and your mate become one to express how much you love each other 🙂 Of course it does not stop there…

The method of comparison will always bring unwanted issues into any relationship that has a good future. It’s totally mental and yes maybe Bobby Joe can work the middle a little better than Sammy Joe but who will be there after sex to love, respect, cherish, support you mentally and respect you.

Can you have both? Yes, you can but these days most folks both MEN and WOMEN just want a good screw anyway and anyhow they can get it and could care less about anything else.
Always… keep it simple never involving others. This will allow you to focus on the one who really loves you not those who just want to get their rocks off.
Just when you think you have something better it turns out to be a dud in a major way.

When you thought you were going from bad to better you actually went from GREAT to Horrific!

When the good outweighs the bad STAY where you are!!! It’s a jungle out here…

Why Are You Searching for Stuff?

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If you are in a relationship and you find that you are always searching for things to catch your mate cheating you need to reevaluate the situation.

You have reached an all-time low if you are searching his/her cell phone or reading their emails.
If you suspect them of cheating just ask! More than likely they won’t tell you the truth and that’s totally ok because the truth always comes to light; maybe not as fast as we would like it to be revealed.

People are going to do what they want to do whether you like it or not. You have two choices; that is…deal with it or LEAVE! No need in making a fuss or acting like a private detective. If there is no trust you have absolutely nothing to move forward with. Respecting someone’s privacy is a hard thing to do when you feel you have the right to know everything they are doing and who they are doing it with.

You DO NOT own them so back off buddy. Allow them to have a separate life and trust that they will set boundaries that will not allow you to be hurt or disrespected. I know it’s difficult to trust when you have been lied to and betrayed several times in your life. Until someone proves otherwise you must trust them!

Seek and you shall find just remember you are the one that went looking for stuff! Two wrongs don’t make a right…maybe you did catch them but you did not respect their privacy by searching through their things. Bascially you found what you were looking for; so now what are you going to do?

Blinders of Hope

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So many times we go into a relationship believing we can change that person to be what we want them to be.

You really can’t expect change overnight although for some reason we want miracles to occur.
If they were in the bar and clubs every chance they got when you met them; why get upset if they continue that same behavior? You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into but YOU chose to put the blinders of hope on that he/she would change.

There are many instances that the person was willing to change for another person immediately. Sometimes it takes the right person to make an individual want to change. There is the fear of losing them if they continue their reckless behavior therefore “they change”.
Never pressure anyone that you enter a relationship with to change right now or else…Ultimatums do not always work and will drive them further away from you.

You must be patient and communicate your dislikes and things that make you feel uncomfortable as a result of your partner’s behavior. If they really care about you they will change their behavior not who they are. The first time a person says to you, “I am not changing for you or anybody else.” You must decide on whether you want to deal with that response or end relationship.

You are in for a downhill battle to nowhere. If this person wants to hang out all the time and leaves you in the house that is a RED FLAG. Have a separate social life; that is totally fine if you both are respecting your relationship while you mingle amongst the wolves. This only becomes a problem if you never plan to spend time with your partner outside the bedroom.

I am confused when it comes to people believing that their behavior is directly connected to who they are. In my opinion, there is a disconnect; as well a direct connect when it comes to behaviors that become habits. Meaning changing behavior is far more of an easier task than changing the core of who you are.

Lastly, be open to the fact that your partner may want you to change certain behaviors as well. You both must be flexible if you want your relationship to blossom.

Disclaimer
***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others and in no way will I ever directly tell anyone to do anything because the decision is yours and yours alone.
I advise this does not mean you make a decision based solely on what is communicated to you via my blog. My responses are based on “What I would do” if I were you; based on my personal experiences.
In the end, the decision is totally yours and something you will have to live with not me. If someone told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you? If so, stop reading my blog. Thank you!
Straight from my Heart, Patrice