Power ~vs~ Powerless

Sometimes I believe that you can overthink not just situations but LIFE itself…Here comes the worry monster and it just gobbles up all your happiness.

Lately, I have also noticed that people in general focus on the things they have absolutely no power over more often than not.

The things we can change we neglect to actually take action with procrastination being the devil…instead we focus on things that have already happened that we can’t reverse rather than the things we have the power to change.

I am totally guilty of worrying about things that will be no matter how much I may wish or hope it away.

My focus is being proactive not reactive to LIFE…this is easier said than done without a doubt.
Naturally, there are some situations that will only allow you to be reactive but this only means you weren’t proactive.

If someone slaps you in the face more than likely you saw it coming but instead of removing yourself from harm’s way (proactive) you stay and get slapped therefore you return the favor (reactive).
Life is the same way…but we chose to put the blinders on then look at adversity like a deer’s eyes illuminated by blinding headlights.

None of us have a crystal ball to help us along the way however there are red flags and major indicators that we overlook because we don’t want to accept the possible outcome.
Instead of dwelling on things we can’t change let’s focus on what’s next and the things we can change!

You will soon find that your stress level will be almost non-existent….Life is too short to get stuck in a rut we have to keep it moving. People will not only see “happy” on your face they will smell it a mile away and hate you for it….because they too want to be happy just like you!

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Blinders of Hope

So many times we go into a relationship believing we can change that person to be what we want them to be.

You really can’t expect change overnight although for some reason we want miracles to occur.
If they were in the bar and clubs every chance they got when you met them; why get upset if they continue that same behavior? You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into but YOU chose to put the blinders of hope on that he/she would change.

There are many instances that the person was willing to change for another person immediately. Sometimes it takes the right person to make an individual want to change. There is the fear of losing them if they continue their reckless behavior therefore “they change”.
Never pressure anyone that you enter a relationship with to change right now or else…Ultimatums do not always work and will drive them further away from you.

You must be patient and communicate your dislikes and things that make you feel uncomfortable as a result of your partner’s behavior. If they really care about you they will change their behavior not who they are. The first time a person says to you, “I am not changing for you or anybody else.” You must decide on whether you want to deal with that response or end relationship.

You are in for a downhill battle to nowhere. If this person wants to hang out all the time and leaves you in the house that is a RED FLAG. Have a separate social life; that is totally fine if you both are respecting your relationship while you mingle amongst the wolves. This only becomes a problem if you never plan to spend time with your partner outside the bedroom.

I am confused when it comes to people believing that their behavior is directly connected to who they are. In my opinion, there is a disconnect; as well a direct connect when it comes to behaviors that become habits. Meaning changing behavior is far more of an easier task than changing the core of who you are.

Lastly, be open to the fact that your partner may want you to change certain behaviors as well. You both must be flexible if you want your relationship to blossom.

Disclaimer
***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others and in no way will I ever directly tell anyone to do anything because the decision is yours and yours alone.
I advise this does not mean you make a decision based solely on what is communicated to you via my blog. My responses are based on “What I would do” if I were you; based on my personal experiences.
In the end, the decision is totally yours and something you will have to live with not me. If someone told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you? If so, stop reading my blog. Thank you!
Straight from my Heart, Patrice

Don’t Be Angry…

The very man/woman you are pouring your heart out to with hopes they can shed some light on your relationship woes is the very one who is envious of what you have. Just go talk to granny or pops and get some old school advice. Let’s hope they are not worse than your imposter friends.

When you tell someone about issues you are having in your relationship then wake up the next morning and it’s all over the 8 o’clock news don’t be angry. Learn to be more selective with the company you keep and whom you share your personal life with.

Remember that every time you decide to share your personal life you are taking a risk of that person having diarrhea of the mouth. People will pretend to care about you just to get close and destroy you.

I will never understand why someone would waste their time and energy trying to make someone miserable other than it has to be a sickness. I’d rather blog, work out or read a book before I spend my time hating on someone. Serioiusly? GET A LIFE!

Some folks can’t hold water. Right after you tell them something ten other folks will know every detail you shared with big mouth. In this world you basically can’t trust anyone but who wants to live life that way? This is exactly why you look for red flags!
People will show you their true character over time.

If your so-called friend tells you something that another person said about you that was negative you really don’t want to tell them a darn thing about your personal life.

I’ve had a female tell me that some chick came to her and had all this negative mess to say about me and she listened. The winch had the nerve to chime in with the heifer.
To make matters worse she in some way thought that her telling me that she agreed with the hater chick made her noble. #Blown.com

I was thinking in my head this b*tch is fake and phony and I wish she would leave me the heck alone. Both she and that hating chick can go kick rocks who by the way smiles in my face like nothing was ever said. Whoa!

Real women come directly to you when they have a problem they feel needs to be brought to your attention not gossip to others!

These are the types of people you never tell your business to no matter how much you want them to be your friend they are NOT.

Again, don’t be angry when the entire neighborhood knows your life story because you decided to share it with a snake.

Straight from The Heart, Patrice McCullough

Offended?

I sincerely apologize if my post “Take a Seat” offended anyone.
Lord knows my intention is not to offend anyone. I have over 160 posts, are you serious?
Some folks are always looking for a fight.

My posts are not directed towards anyone in particular since I have no idea who is actually reading my blog.

This is an open forum in which I should not have to walk on egg shells when posting my personal thoughts and feelings that have nothing to do with any of you who are “offended’ by my personal feelings.

Please whatever you do don’t take anything “personal” when it’s not about you. This blog is about MY life alone. I am able to answer and give some sound advice on things that I have “personally experienced”.

I write about what others are afraid to share fearing the backlash or negative responses that most will have. All advice that my followers left under 5 Years No Ring WTF? were welcomed and some were not…So indeed some folks needed to back off in some cases.

You can either be NEGATIVE or POSITVE while reading my blog…take the higher road. My blog is not for overly sensitive people who always think someone is attacking them on a personal level.

You all have no idea how many comments that are ugly received that never hit my page for you to see.

The one thing I will not allow on my blog is outright disrespect. Hurting people or toying with their emotions isn’t my thing either.

You speak your peace and respect my decision. Don’t indirectly refer to me as being stupid or not realizing when I have a good thing in my life.

NONE OF US ARE PERFECT AND MAKE MISTAKES…

I am just not afraid to share the mistakes I’ve made with hopes someone else won’t do the exact thing!

That’s a sacrifice that I’ve chosen to make…

Bad Morning?

I recall having several mornings that were full of chaos. I sat back and chuckled about it because I already knew it was all a test.
The way I responded made my tomorrow better. It’s amazing how much damage you can do to your life and a situation by reacting based on pure emotions. Just breathe, have a cup of water and take a short walk. Then return with a clear mind and handle your business! If you happen to be a person with road rage honeybee it’s so not worth it just chill out. Don’t die prematurely because you stress yourself out.