Power ~vs~ Powerless

Sometimes I believe that you can overthink not just situations but LIFE itself…Here comes the worry monster and it just gobbles up all your happiness.

Lately, I have also noticed that people in general focus on the things they have absolutely no power over more often than not.

The things we can change we neglect to actually take action with procrastination being the devil…instead we focus on things that have already happened that we can’t reverse rather than the things we have the power to change.

I am totally guilty of worrying about things that will be no matter how much I may wish or hope it away.

My focus is being proactive not reactive to LIFE…this is easier said than done without a doubt.
Naturally, there are some situations that will only allow you to be reactive but this only means you weren’t proactive.

If someone slaps you in the face more than likely you saw it coming but instead of removing yourself from harm’s way (proactive) you stay and get slapped therefore you return the favor (reactive).
Life is the same way…but we chose to put the blinders on then look at adversity like a deer’s eyes illuminated by blinding headlights.

None of us have a crystal ball to help us along the way however there are red flags and major indicators that we overlook because we don’t want to accept the possible outcome.
Instead of dwelling on things we can’t change let’s focus on what’s next and the things we can change!

You will soon find that your stress level will be almost non-existent….Life is too short to get stuck in a rut we have to keep it moving. People will not only see “happy” on your face they will smell it a mile away and hate you for it….because they too want to be happy just like you!

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You Were Smaller When We First Met!

How do you tell your partner “You have gotten too fat”? They usually know they have gained way too much weight and have either accepted it or become depressed so tread lightly.

Instead, you ask them to work out with you at the gym. Better yet take long walks with the love of your life. Long walks are a good way to spend quality time together. Get a cook book on how to prepare heather meals.

If a trainer fits your budget, hire one that will train you as a couple. The last thing you want is for your partner to become unattached to you because of excess weight gain. But if they met you already juicy and plump then you shouldn’t have any issues.

If your health becomes affected as a result of your weight then you have an entire different issue.
I never imagined in my life that my weight would be an issue and it is a battle every day.

Men usually have no issues with my new-found plumpness but I do!

I think before I eat, try to be consistent in the gym and refuse to buy larger clothes.
The stair master is a huge challenge but I feel accomplished after 15 minutes on that beast of a machine. My goal is work out for 30 minutes on the stair master and I am half way there!
Doesn’t matter if I ever lose another inch what matter is my HEALTH.

straight from the Heart, Patrice McCullough

Blinders of Hope

So many times we go into a relationship believing we can change that person to be what we want them to be.

You really can’t expect change overnight although for some reason we want miracles to occur.
If they were in the bar and clubs every chance they got when you met them; why get upset if they continue that same behavior? You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into but YOU chose to put the blinders of hope on that he/she would change.

There are many instances that the person was willing to change for another person immediately. Sometimes it takes the right person to make an individual want to change. There is the fear of losing them if they continue their reckless behavior therefore “they change”.
Never pressure anyone that you enter a relationship with to change right now or else…Ultimatums do not always work and will drive them further away from you.

You must be patient and communicate your dislikes and things that make you feel uncomfortable as a result of your partner’s behavior. If they really care about you they will change their behavior not who they are. The first time a person says to you, “I am not changing for you or anybody else.” You must decide on whether you want to deal with that response or end relationship.

You are in for a downhill battle to nowhere. If this person wants to hang out all the time and leaves you in the house that is a RED FLAG. Have a separate social life; that is totally fine if you both are respecting your relationship while you mingle amongst the wolves. This only becomes a problem if you never plan to spend time with your partner outside the bedroom.

I am confused when it comes to people believing that their behavior is directly connected to who they are. In my opinion, there is a disconnect; as well a direct connect when it comes to behaviors that become habits. Meaning changing behavior is far more of an easier task than changing the core of who you are.

Lastly, be open to the fact that your partner may want you to change certain behaviors as well. You both must be flexible if you want your relationship to blossom.

Disclaimer
***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others and in no way will I ever directly tell anyone to do anything because the decision is yours and yours alone.
I advise this does not mean you make a decision based solely on what is communicated to you via my blog. My responses are based on “What I would do” if I were you; based on my personal experiences.
In the end, the decision is totally yours and something you will have to live with not me. If someone told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you? If so, stop reading my blog. Thank you!
Straight from my Heart, Patrice

Random Thoughts…

Once you accept that pain and disappointment has to be a part of your life you have built a foundation that will not allow you to be happy ever.

There is nothing wrong with having expectations but you must realize that most of the time people won’t live up to those unrealistic expectations that you feel are totally achievable and fair.
What it actually is, we want that person to be like “us” to do things the way we would like them to be done and that is wrong! It’s no better than forcing your religious beliefs on people. You must allow others to be who they are and adjusting to you will take time. You can only hope that the person you are with is open and can observe tension when it occurs in the relationship.

Pain associated with life is inevitable but it’s how you recover from that pain you will come out stronger or more broken.

Have you ever seen someone smiling during an argument or burst out into laughter during conflict? In your opinion you may perceive them as being crazy but realistically they saw the confrontation coming and have been down the road many times before. We have experienced the same stressors many times but tend to react negatively instead of learning from the other encounters and expecting a different outcome.

Stress kills and there is no way around the chemical effects that occur within your body however you can subside those detrimental effects by keeping stressors to a minimum. Your outlook and how you deal with any stressful situation will determine a positive or negative outcome internally and externally.

Straight from The Heart, Patrice (Patty Cakes!)

Relationship Blues

So you had an argument with your sweetheart and now you are angry with the world? Get over it or deal with it better yet check your issues at the front door before coming to work or interacting with others. “Misdirected anger “is a dressed up term for “jackass” because anytime you are angry with someone that had nothing to do with your foul mood you are a jackass. Disagreements will happen between folks in a relationship which is nothing new. Why get stressed over it? Remain civil, talk it out like mature adults not like 5 year-olds in a shouting match.
Besides, if someone has that much power over determining your mood you may want to stop depending on others for your happiness.