Power ~vs~ Powerless

Sometimes I believe that you can overthink not just situations but LIFE itself…Here comes the worry monster and it just gobbles up all your happiness.

Lately, I have also noticed that people in general focus on the things they have absolutely no power over more often than not.

The things we can change we neglect to actually take action with procrastination being the devil…instead we focus on things that have already happened that we can’t reverse rather than the things we have the power to change.

I am totally guilty of worrying about things that will be no matter how much I may wish or hope it away.

My focus is being proactive not reactive to LIFE…this is easier said than done without a doubt.
Naturally, there are some situations that will only allow you to be reactive but this only means you weren’t proactive.

If someone slaps you in the face more than likely you saw it coming but instead of removing yourself from harm’s way (proactive) you stay and get slapped therefore you return the favor (reactive).
Life is the same way…but we chose to put the blinders on then look at adversity like a deer’s eyes illuminated by blinding headlights.

None of us have a crystal ball to help us along the way however there are red flags and major indicators that we overlook because we don’t want to accept the possible outcome.
Instead of dwelling on things we can’t change let’s focus on what’s next and the things we can change!

You will soon find that your stress level will be almost non-existent….Life is too short to get stuck in a rut we have to keep it moving. People will not only see “happy” on your face they will smell it a mile away and hate you for it….because they too want to be happy just like you!

Blinders of Hope

So many times we go into a relationship believing we can change that person to be what we want them to be.

You really can’t expect change overnight although for some reason we want miracles to occur.
If they were in the bar and clubs every chance they got when you met them; why get upset if they continue that same behavior? You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into but YOU chose to put the blinders of hope on that he/she would change.

There are many instances that the person was willing to change for another person immediately. Sometimes it takes the right person to make an individual want to change. There is the fear of losing them if they continue their reckless behavior therefore “they change”.
Never pressure anyone that you enter a relationship with to change right now or else…Ultimatums do not always work and will drive them further away from you.

You must be patient and communicate your dislikes and things that make you feel uncomfortable as a result of your partner’s behavior. If they really care about you they will change their behavior not who they are. The first time a person says to you, “I am not changing for you or anybody else.” You must decide on whether you want to deal with that response or end relationship.

You are in for a downhill battle to nowhere. If this person wants to hang out all the time and leaves you in the house that is a RED FLAG. Have a separate social life; that is totally fine if you both are respecting your relationship while you mingle amongst the wolves. This only becomes a problem if you never plan to spend time with your partner outside the bedroom.

I am confused when it comes to people believing that their behavior is directly connected to who they are. In my opinion, there is a disconnect; as well a direct connect when it comes to behaviors that become habits. Meaning changing behavior is far more of an easier task than changing the core of who you are.

Lastly, be open to the fact that your partner may want you to change certain behaviors as well. You both must be flexible if you want your relationship to blossom.

***Remember to search your own soul for specific answers.
I sincerely thank everyone for reading my blog and sharing your views on life.
All of my posts are personal lessons I’ve learned through my “personal” walk and life experiences.
The purpose of my blog is to encourage others and in no way will I ever directly tell anyone to do anything because the decision is yours and yours alone.
I advise this does not mean you make a decision based solely on what is communicated to you via my blog. My responses are based on “What I would do” if I were you; based on my personal experiences.
In the end, the decision is totally yours and something you will have to live with not me. If someone told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you? If so, stop reading my blog. Thank you!
Straight from my Heart, Patrice


***There is always a grey area when it comes to what I have written. Will there be cases when you should mind someone else’s business? Of course! That all depends on the severity of the situation and if someone’s life is at risk.**** Just be careful you don’t put yourself in harm’s way when you decide to play private detective or a good Samaritan.

You just found out something that was rather disturbing about someone and all of a sudden you feel compelled to tell them? Well, you really need to mind your business!

Even if you were part of the fiasco just shut your mouth please. Stop whatever it is and keep it moving. If whatever you found out does not directly affect you shut up!

“I really think she should know that he is cheating on her”. First, why is it any of your business? He’s your friend ok I get that part but the worst is when you have no affiliation with the person but you think they should know? Once again, just mind your business.

He’s your friend and you want to protect him, right? You tell him and then what? He will continue to see her because they already discussed having an open relationship…feeling dumb right now?

You are a person that feeds off of drama that is all. If you must be a blubber mouth please make sure your facts are solid as a rock and get ready to get the donkey poop smacked out of you if you bark up the wrong tree.

You see her out hugging on a guy and he even kisses her on the cheek as they walk away holding hands. It’s her cousin fool and they are not “kissing cousins” as in tongue all over the place! They are just very close and love each other as family.

Everything is not as it seems and you better just look the other way. Be more concerned about your folks cheating on you since that should be your only agenda.

Whatever is meant for them to know; they will find out without you poking your nose in their relationship. If the situation occurred several months ago or even years why the heck are you divulging the information now? You are a rat bringing old rotten cheese and love drama.

My name is Patrice and I don’t know anything unless it is about me. I have a life of my own.

Mind your darn business and you shall see how much happier you will become. So busy cleaning other folk’s back yard that you have maggots in yours.

How Important Is Being Accepted Socially?

No matter how much you smile or how much you love there will always be someone who will not accept you.

When you base your life on the acceptance of others just for the sake of fitting in you set yourself up for failure emotionally. There are some sick unhappy people who will pick you apart and try to find everything negative about you they can…stay away from those types!

We all have some bad in us but our goal should be to have the good outweigh the bad.
We can all learn patience and how to be gracefully insulted while we seek understanding when communicating with someone who may offend us. We don’t have to accept anyone into our circle but you should respect who they are and not speak foully about them which by the way makes you far worse.

There are many people who morph into someone they are not just so they can simply “fit in” losing their true selves. If you are outspoken and rough around the edges that is who you are and if people can’t embrace your realness that is something they have to deal with.

You will never know a person’s journey and what shaped them into who they are today so before you reject someone try to accept them for who they are most importantly understand that you are not perfect as well.

It takes all kinds of personalities to make the world a more exciting place to live!
When it’s all said and done…I would rather be rejected for being me than accepted for pretending to be someone I am not.


It seems easier said than done but you must not let the mishaps of life keep you down.

It is normal to feel a certain kind of way when someone does something to you the first time that you have no control over. But when you keep allowing people to keep doing the same things to you that hurt or makes you angry you can’t blame anyone but yourself.

People will do only what you “continue” to allow them to do. People “show” you how they really feel about you although their words say the exact opposite. Pay attention to actions more than the lies they tell you to keep you on a string.

Some folks really believe that they want to be with you because they speak it but they don’t show it. Don’t waste your life with someone that disrespects you when there is someone out there that will love you like you deserve to be loved. It is far better to be alone (single) than with a person that hurts you and breaks your heart everyday.

What exactly is “flirting” ~vs~ being “Nice”?

Hello Folks!

I was wondering how can you really tell if someone is flirting with you?

What if you are wrong? What are the signs that they want to see you in your panties? What is it exactly that a man says to a woman to give her a hint that he’s totally interested?

Nice shoes? You smell good, what are you wearing? So, do you come here often? I hope to see you again…You work out huh?

I am asking because a friend of mine was on the phone with me when this guy asked was his jacket too big? Ok, I engaged and said a little but it looks fine since guys shouldn’t wear tight clothes. So, my friend shouts “He’s flirting with you!”

That was flirting? Hmmm?






Woke up this morning, my chest felt tight as I fought back tears. I was overwhelmed by sadness and had to figure out where this feeling was coming from.

I concluded that those emotions were from a series of events that occurred over the past 30 days. I decided to not deal with those three situations when they actually happened which resulted in everything coming at me at once!

Tears fell uncontrollably.
But then I begin to feel numb all over. My mind was confused as my heart took over. Nothing could stop the flow of tears even if I willed them away with all my might.

Accepting that sadness, hurt and death are a part of life is the most difficult thing for me.

All this time, I thought I had control over my emotions. Happiness will always resurface in my life since thats my favorite emotion. However, realizing that the less favorable emotions must have their roles as well will allow me to cope better.


I will be 42 next year and God knows time has flown by like a 1,000 Lockheed SR-71 Blackbirds. I remember telling myself that I am still young at the age of 23 so what’s the rush to “accomplish” anything or set goals?

Having someone teach me the importance of College or to become a functioning member of society was foreign to me. Trial and error was the only way for me to figure out what was important in life which kind of stinks when you have folks around you that could have warned you first.

All I needed was a little guidance and who knows where my life would be now? The past is exactly that. Now it is time to move on without any regrets. Nobody ever wants to talk about death but it’s inevitable.

Get it? We will all die at one point that means we have no time to waste. Being young or old does not determine when you will leave this earth so why gamble? Just do it! Set goals try to accomplish as much as possible. Realistic goals are easily attained start off small then set goals that you never dreamed you could accomplish and go for it! Fear is our worst enemy and failure isn’t always that bad because it gives you a second chance to do it right the next time.

Time is gone can’t get it back but if I could be 23 again the sky would have been the limit for me. It is very true that it’s never too late. But gee whiz don’t use that for an excuse to delay what you can do now.


My hips are wide my butt is round and plump. My butt sits up and out hmmm? I have big Shapley legs, average bust size with a pretty small waist. However, I am still FAT but most guys call me PHAT. Either way, never mind what the freaking acronym for PHAT is! They both sound the dang same for goodness sakes just don’t refer to me using either term thank you very much. Matter of fact at what stage in a man’s life do they discontinue using daunting terms that are rather abrasive if you ask me? You call me crazy and say ” gosh you look great.”
But the scale never lies when someone that is a little over 6 feet is the same weight as me standing a little over 5 feet…WOW! How is that even possible? Well, it is sadly to say . Consequently, I am able to carry the weight very well. Magically the FAT is distributed evenly if that makes any sense…I posted my pics check me out standing at a hefty 190lbs! There has to be some scientific explanation.