A Stranger’s Heart…

I was sitting on the bench waiting for a delayed train at Metro Center listening to music.
It seems that people will talk to you no matter if you have headphones inserted in your ears which seems to be a way of telling people you are trying to tune them out.
I am always aware of my surroundings so unfortunately this young lady walked towards me as I looked up and struck up a conversation.

The first thing that came to mind is “Why is she bothering me and does she not see that I am listening to music?”
Well, I took my earphones out of my ears and welcomed her conversation which was about the shoes on my feet.
Her eyes were bright and full of excitement as she complimented my shoes. Something told me that she had something more to tell me and it wasn’t about my shoes.
I motioned her to sit next to me. I kind of don’t like people standing over me while conversing and my feet were hurting a bit from wearing the same high heel shoes for over 9 hours so standing was not an option.

We ranted on about how shoes have evolved over the years and how fashion repeats itself. I welcomed her conversation and was just as excited that someone loved shoes just as much as I do. She knew the history of the high heel being created by a man who saw his wife reach for an object with her heals
lifted and thought it was sexy and that is how the high heel shoe was born!
The conversation shifted rather quickly and her eyes seem to drift off to a place of deep thought which had me worried. I thought “Oh goodness let me find out she’s about to hit on me”.

Out of nowhere she began to talk about how she’s never been married and always wanted to have children. I started looking for the train with hopes it would pull up soon but oh no the board indicated that there were still “Major Delays”. My day did not go so great and I really didn’t want to hear anything else she had to say I just wanted to listen to my music.
My heart became heavy when I looked at her again. She had this look of deep sadness that appeared on her face.
I thought to myself, “WHY ME LORD?” She began to share some horrific details about how every man she had ever been with cheated on her. The young lady was well-dressed, very pretty, great smile, slim build and very intelligent. But what was going on inside?

I listened and my mouth dropped open (rude me!) I just could not believe the things she told me that happened to her during those awful relationships. She allowed lots of those things to happen but she thought she was in love and they loved her…gee whiz!

The train finally pulled up and I sat there and didn’t move as if I were stuck!
Tears started to pour from her eyes as she apologized profusely telling me that she had to talk to someone it was just “one of those days” that she just felt like she didn’t want to live anymore.

I asked what her name was and I told her mine. “Nice to meet you Michelle” and shook her hand.
“You are a person that God loves with all his heart so when you say things like that it hurts him deeply”.
“You need to find love within and know that God loves you first and that is all that you need”
This is far too much for anyone to have to deal with and I wanted out fast… She replied, “I know”

For some reason I could not move!
She asked me what she was doing wrong and I replied, “Honey, I really don’t know”.
I had the nerve to start crying right along with her and I know we looked real crazy to everyone that walked pass us but oh well.
This lady was in a dark place and I could feel her pain it was really heart wrenching. “Are you sure they all cheated on you?” She replied, “Yes, there were only three that I have ever been with and trust me I am certain they cheated on me.”

I pulled out the tissues and handed her half of them as we wiped our tears this man leaned over and asked were we ok?
“Yes, thank you we are fine just talking about shoes”…he chuckled as he walked away.
We talked about lots of things but too much to write about and very disturbing as well.
My closing remarks to her were as follows… “Just because a man is having sex with you does not mean you are in a relationship and you must ask where you stand with him and hope he will be honest.”
“You have to look at how he treats you not what he tells you…never lose yourself in a relationship and become so dependent on anyone that you feel like life is no longer worth living if they decide to dump you.”
“I don’t know what you see when you look in the mirror but you are an absolutely stunning young lady that has so much to offer the right man, please pray that God will send you a mate”.
She needs to give herself time to heal from all the past relationships. Her sadness came from wanting to be married and have children. Michelle can’t have kids now but she can still become married to the right man one day. I will keep her in my prayers. WOW! That was tough…I swear to be nice to everyone as much as possible…you never know how much you can hurt someone.

Hurt People

Good morning!

Thanks to everyone that actually took the time to read my blog.

Your support is appreciated😄
Some of the comments and especially the emails received brought tears to my eyes…

I’ve read some emails and actually broke down crying uncontrollably because I never knew there were so many hurt people.

Knowing that my words changed lives and encouraged them to not commit suicide is a feeling that can’t be described.

I’ve respected their privacy and they trusted me enough to share what was eating them alive.

All I can say is we must stop hurting people it’s really bad guys. Stick to the golden rule treat others like you would want to be treated.

You’d be surprised of how fragile some folks are who pretend to be strong. I can’t believe the mean things people do to each other not caring about anyone but themselves.

I’ve become a better person as a result of the many emails received realizing that I need to change.

I love everyone even those who hate my guts and did me wrong. To hate someone just isn’t part of my DNA.

Call me silly but hate is a strong emotion that eats at your spirit like cancer!!!

We have to care about how we treat others starting today!

The Truth Stings Like Hell…

I always used to tell myself that the truth will set me free.
When I think about all the truths that were either told or revealed to me it makes me wonder if those truths really set me free. In fact, some of those truths made me feel like I was trapped in misery that seemed to take forever to overcome. Prayer helped me find the happiness that was once lost.

I’ve learned to never allow anything or anyone to steal my joy or to break my spirit when I realized I have power over my LIFE.
Words can truly hurt worse than a punch in the face since the sting or pain will pass in a very short time. The truth mixed with hurtful words can leave a wound in your heart and sometimes your soul; so deep that you may never recover.

No matter how much it hurts; give me the truth full throttle don’t hold back! I will respect a person that tells the truth over a person that pretends to love me in a bed of lies.
Some truths took the air out of my lungs and I began to feel dizzy wondering how in the world did I not see this coming? Dummy me; Blindsided by false loves before my real love came with the reality of a loving relationship that was ruined by my own doing.

Your past can ruin your future if you are not careful. We all must accept what happened in our past and move on knowing it was a lesson to be learned. Letting go of our past seems almost impossible since we have built a wall of protection with bits and pieces of our “hurtful” past being the foundation.

If we can only learn to turn the negatives into positives! Life is a journey that will not always be filled with sunshine. The old saying still holds true “Only the Strong will Survive” the weak will fall by the waste side allowing their past to destroy their future happiness.

They always say that over time the pain will heal but it seems to always become a permanent imprint on our life in some sort of way. It’s hard to forget that hurt even though you may not feel the pain anymore you can taste it right on the tip of your tongue. Allow that pain to become your strength…

Straight from my Heart, Patrice 🙂

Single for Life

What exactly makes a person decide they want to be single for life? I can think of lots of things but my reasons would be different from yours or maybe not?
It all boils down to being sick of being sick and tired of the same bulls*t over and over and overrrrr again! I swear some folks act like they have 9 lives even after wasting 8 of those lives.

I have found that you can tell someone that you are not happy and they will try to force you to be with them; it’s clearly insane. If someone tells me they are not happy and want to bounce; I will kindly show them where the door is with no attitude…thank you for not wasting any more of OUR time. It was somewhat nice while it lasted…have a nice life.
No matter what you say to yourself being alone is no fun; an unhealthy relationship is by far not the better option.
This really gets confusing sometimes for so many of us!

It seems that every relationship comes with its own set of issues that we choose to either deal with or run from. What I find that is hilarious is we end up dealing with same issues with a different person with a variance of severity. Then we must wonder if those problems are in fact manifesting within us and not the other person. Is it possible that we could be the problem? Indeed but not all the darn time…this is when a self-evaluation is needed.

My cousin and I were driving in her car yesterday after having dinner. She actually said something to me that at that particular time peaked my interest making total sense. Have you ever said to someone or to yourself “If this does not work,I am done”?

Well, my cousin told me that it’s ridiculous when all you need is time to get your mind right and allow your heart to heal. You never know if you will meet the love of your life when you least expect it. Don’t shut the possibilities out by throwing up a brick wall that reads “DO NOT ENTER”.
We let so many ships sail by because we are hurt or allowed someone to waste our time that was never meant for us to be with in the first place. Please stop asking, “How do I know if they are the right person?” When you know the very moment you meet them unless you are detached from reality. Wake up, look and listen…observation is critical. Listen to half of what is being verbally communicated and all of what is VISABLE.

Sometimes I wonder if being single something that was predestined for me or whether meeting someone that possess 90% of my character traits and defects (LOL) would make a huge difference.
If I can meet someone that is not the opposite of me that may work! We would understand each other therefore knowing what the next move would be if that makes any sense at all.
We all are on a quest to find LOVE…the type of love that last forever and doesn’t HURT.

Straight from My Heart, Patrice

The Shoes I Wear…

My closet holds tons of shoes.

Most of my shoes look beautiful on my feet but some are very painful.

The shoes I wear may look great on the outside but the sole is worn so thin on the bottom that with every step there is a rock piercing through the ball of my feet.

They may look pretty on the outside but at the end of the day when I come home my feet are in so much pain.

I am the only one walking in those shoes…

Walking down the street people say “Hey, girl those shoes are bad to the bone, I want some just like those” If they only knew no matter what size you buy ½ size bigger or the perfect fit they hurt no matter how nice they look.

This particular pair of shoes looks good on the outside and every female wants a pair when she sees them. Let me tell you this…they hurt so much that I had to retire this one pair of shoes that all the girls flocked to.

Hurt

When a person is ANGRY and tries everything in their power to cause you harm.
Remember…Behind all the hate and anger is a mountain of hurt.

Even if you are directly connected to the pain they are feeling; once you ask for their forgiveness you have done your job. If they can’t accept your apology then they have to answer to a higher power.

Most of the time you may not have anything to do with their hurt but for some reason they target you because they are not mature enough to deal with the “SOURCE” of their anger.

This is not to excuse their behavior; I am asking you to just understand that they have some serious issues. It’s even worse when the anger is over some man/woman that does not want anything else to do with them…but because they are with you it’s a thorn in their backside. Some folks don’t know how to let go!

The battle is not with you it’s within them…
Don’t feed the fire just pray for them and leave it alone.
Do not allow them to suck your happy spirit dry!