Five Years Still No Ring? WTF?

Ok, like seriously, how long do you expect a woman to wait around for you to marry her?
Five years is way too long but hey that’s just my opinion since I was dumb enough to do it.
As 2014 is fast approaching; I decided to end whatever it is we had for so long.
Most folks that I asked to give their opinion on this mess, said,”Why should it matter as long as you are happy”?

Well, that’s exactly it, I am not happy knowing that he got all this milk and cookies for FREE!

There are details that can’t be shared in a public forum however there were SEVERAL factors that assisted me with making this final decision.

In order for me to discuss the topics on my blog guess what? I had to go through it myself!!!!! Hated it…but hope that my life experiences will STOP someone else from making a HUGE mistake.

Is it dreadful to be in a long-term relationship if both parties aren’t considering marriage heck NO but it has to be mutual?

Dude! Don’t pull the “Will you marry me?” when I have one butt cheek out the door…that is just WRONG in all sorts of ways.

Being married for 10 years previously sort of makes me not in a rush to run towards the Alter but if I am playing house for 5 years hmmm? IDK just does not seem right.

No, I will not change my mind nor my heart…my mind is made up. Being an old maid does not scare me…being alone does not scare me although; I am totally too hot for that. LOL

I will not date anyone that isn’t a potential husband considering I am 43 not 23…

Boxing Ring Love…is so not cool…

Sometimes we experience situations in life that will make us question our self-worth if you can step outside of yourself for a moment to actually realize it.
We claim to respect and love ourselves but we allow others to throw us out like Monday’s trash or flatten us like a steam roller; then have the nerve to profess our love to them after being thrown under bus right before they rip your heart out of your chest.

I wonder if we really like to feel pain; otherwise why wouldn’t be just tell the loser to get lost? The first lie, the first cry from being hurt beyond repair should be lesson enough but we keep enduring it for days that turn into months and one day it’s years!
You become so mentally and emotionally worn out that you will no longer be any good for the next person if you don’t give yourself time to heal and focus on loving and respecting yourself FIRST.

It may sound corny when your hear folks say “love yourself first” but that’s a FACT!
How can you allow someone to mistreat you and give them your heart? I am sure there are many reasons you would give but none that would make any logical sense. She/he used to be so nice or we have a history together is surely what they say most of the time.

History means nothing if he beats on you…History means nothing if she cheats on you. What they used to do and used to be like means zero what matters is how they are presently treating you.
Never use kids as an excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship because when you think you are doing the kids a favor you are doing them a disservice. Kids are smart and they can sense when their parents aren’t happy and they talk about it in their adult life too.

Trying to love someone that actually hates themselves is a never ending battle you don’t want to start. Now just imagine two people getting together and they have no self-love…that is a huge disaster waiting to happen unless they are open to change and willing to love and accept being loved in return.
When its’ all said and done every experience is a lesson so you aren’t dumb because you fell once or twice for the wrong person but if you repeat the same behavior than you should question yourself.

Make sure you are where you need to be mentally and emotionally before you drag someone into your life…

Don’t Mistake Love for Abuse…

My thoughts based on my personal continuous journey on trying to learn to love myself unconditionally; understanding that the act itself does not make me “selfish” but demands in a subtle way for others to love and respect me.
It amazes me how we actually believe that we are wise when we make all the wrong decisions.
The areas in life we need to be the strongest in we are so weak that it almost destroys us. What makes it worse is we know exactly what the future has in store for most situations; yet and still; we allow ourselves to get sucked in.
Eyes wide open; we dive head first letting our emotions and hormones take front seat.
Listen to your inner voice that is there to save your life! Never ignore your gut. If it hurts it’s not love, if you are sad most of the time you are forcing something that is not meant to be.
You can’t be the only one who compromises alone with no reciprocation from another. You will risk being drained mentally and spiritually beyond repair becoming biter; holding an ugly grudge against all that truly want to love you unconditionally with no strings attached.
Never allow a human being to ruin the core of who you are and suck you dry having you afraid to love again. Be wiser in who you decide to love.
Love only those who are “worthy”, who respect you; who make time for you; who make you feel like you are the only one in their life when you know that is far from the truth when they may have kids.
People who make excuses for not treating you like a “human being” should be removed from your life permanently. It is easy to do once you decide to love yourself unconditionally. When you get hurt enough you will wake up and if you don’t; you will have a miserable loveless life searching for love in all the wrong places. Love starts from within.
If you don’t respect and love yourself unconditionally, why should you expect another human being to do the same?

Mean 4 No Reason

The young lady that hands out the express newspaper at the metro has such a pleasant smile.
Taking a few more seconds to look at her while saying good morning because I sensed something.
I noticed her eyes looked sad behind the smile.
I see this woman every morning and for some reason something was tugging at my spirit!
As if I don’t have my own personal battles…Taking a moment more to look at her while saying good morning; I asked her, “are these people mean to you that come through the metro?
She replied “yes, but not all”
My heart sunk as I took a deep breath.
I replied, “don’t you worry about them ok?, have a nice day”
She thanked me as I noticed that sadness in her eyes disappear.
People can be so mean for no reason and it hurts.
They ignore her like she doesn’t exist, push the paper away or give her dirty looks.
What’s wrong with saying, good morning and/or no thank you?
They look down on her because of her job.
They look down on her because of her race.
But she’s a human being first!!
Shallow people get on my nerves.
We have to stop being hateful towards each other.
We have to stop trying to make others feel inferior because we think we are so perfect based on what society dictates.
YOU WILL ANSWER FOR YOUR ACTIONS!!!

Not everyone deserves your love…

You know when you meet someone and after the first couple of dates if they are someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sounds crazy but its true unless you are more focused on being a man or woman of the world and love doesn’t matter to you.

It is very possible to fall in love with someone within an hour of meeting them.
More realistic to say it takes months or years for love to de…velop but if your heart feels it you can’t deny it no matter how hard you try to fight it.

Your spirit longs to be with them and you are compatible in every way becoming one mentally and sexually.

You make each other laugh and when you touch it’s electrifying and they become a force in your life that you need like the air you breathe. This is dangerous if the other person doesn’t feel the same about you!

Never settle when you know you are a diamond.
Even if it hurts sometimes you have to let go to save yourself the intense pain you will experience if you prolong the inevitable.

Your heart and your emotions (lust) can take control of your ability to make a rational decision that can lead to a road of emotional destruction.

Save yourself the agony and pain for something that is temporary for pain that is long term. The sooner you remove yourself from a going to nowhere situation the faster your heart will heal.

ASSUMPTIONS…

It’s difficult to not assume but the best way to find the answer to your question is to simply ask.
If only they would tell the truth but sometimes deep down we really don’t want to hear the truth.

We believe that our assumptions hold more truths than the answer we will receive from asking for the real truth. The truth can sting and hurt but you have to embrace it…

Our imgainations get carried away and we bring those thoughts to LIFE.
Most people will lie to protect your feelings but what they fail to understand is that once the truth is revealed involuntarily you will crush that person’s spirit which is far worse than hurt feelings.

Lying to someone when they trust, care, love or are developing feelings for you is the ultimate betrayal when they let you into their life and open their heart.

Easier said than done but it is so much better to just tell the truth! That way you can move on with your life and allow the other person to be with someone that really does care about them.
If you must lie to keep someone around that’s just not right.

Show No Mercy, Get No Mercy!

Forgiving someone does not make you weak.

Forgiving shows you understand that human nature is flawed to the point that we cause anguish having no regrets at that moment or remorse. We all are guilty of hurting someone whether it was intentionally or not.

You may have cared that you hurt them and then again you felt like they deserved it. Honestly, not a soul alive deserves to be hurt. Unless, you know the root of their troubles and what has shaped them into this awful cold-hearted human being you have no reasonable excuse to hurt anyone emotionally or to retaliate against them.

“Hurt people hurt other people”, strangely they find some sort of pleasure seeing others miserable.

Knowing this about our flawed nature will help you better understand why it is so very important to forgive. God knows, from my personal experiences how hard it is to forgive when you would rather bash their head in!!!

Oh no, that is not healthy for not only them but for the spiritual being that lives inside of you. You are a bright light shining ever so bright but every time you HATE or HURT another human being that light inside of you becomes dimmer and is finally replaced with darkness.

Forgiving does not mean you have to continue to endure a person’s abuse there comes a time you must forgive them and move on to the next chapter in your life.

The most important aspect of forgiveness is having the ability to let go! Holding on to things that someone has done to you in your past will keep you from enjoying the wonderful future you have right in front of you.

Open your eyes and let your heart heal so that you can receive all the blessings that are waiting for you.

Forgiving sets you free! Forgiving does not allow others to have power over you!