When They Don’t Love You Back

Sometimes we meet people and fall in love with them not having any idea how, when or why it happened. It may not be romantic love in the beginning. You may love the way they look at you or the sound of their voice…as time goes by you begin to fall in love with the very essence of their presence.
The most important person to love more is you; never stop loving yourself chasing after the hope of what will never be. They will either love you or they won’t. “I can grow to love you” or “You are someone who I can easily fall in love with” are the things you need to hear and they must show you as well. If someone ever tells you that don’t love you and most importantly never show you then you need to really think about what you want.

You are not in the business of healing broken hearts or people with a shattered hurtful past. Tell them to go away and check back in with you when they are ready to love you like you deserve to be loved and that is unconditionally.

Having someone love you to the moon and back is a feeling that I can’t explain. You don’t have to be afraid to give them your all and hand over the key to your heart.
You know deep down inside that they will never leave you because you are the only one for them and you don’t want to be with anyone else but them just the same. You may try to venture out but then you begin to compare them to others and they will never measure up in a million years!

Sadly, there will be people that come into your life that will not feel the same way about you no matter how much you try to win them over. If you have to put in too much work just so a person will love you it’s not worth it. Be careful of the needy, crazy folk that move fast trying to get you to go through extreme measures to be with them. They are simply caught up in the moment and must realize that love does not always happen overnight or at first sight although it has happened many times before.

People who act in haste never taking time to really get to know you are those you need to be leery of. The man that truly loves me knows my favorite ice cream, color, my likes and dislikes, why I need time alone, understands when I don’t feel like talking, will never yell or curse at me, accepts me with open arms even when he’s upset with something I may have done or said, cuddles, tells me he loves me every single day, makes sure I am ok in every way within his power and never desires to be with another woman.

I never realized how good it felt to be loved to the moon and back until it was gone. Be careful not to let go of a pot of gold for rocks sprayed with gold paint.

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The Truth Stings Like Hell…

I always used to tell myself that the truth will set me free.
When I think about all the truths that were either told or revealed to me it makes me wonder if those truths really set me free. In fact, some of those truths made me feel like I was trapped in misery that seemed to take forever to overcome. Prayer helped me find the happiness that was once lost.

I’ve learned to never allow anything or anyone to steal my joy or to break my spirit when I realized I have power over my LIFE.
Words can truly hurt worse than a punch in the face since the sting or pain will pass in a very short time. The truth mixed with hurtful words can leave a wound in your heart and sometimes your soul; so deep that you may never recover.

No matter how much it hurts; give me the truth full throttle don’t hold back! I will respect a person that tells the truth over a person that pretends to love me in a bed of lies.
Some truths took the air out of my lungs and I began to feel dizzy wondering how in the world did I not see this coming? Dummy me; Blindsided by false loves before my real love came with the reality of a loving relationship that was ruined by my own doing.

Your past can ruin your future if you are not careful. We all must accept what happened in our past and move on knowing it was a lesson to be learned. Letting go of our past seems almost impossible since we have built a wall of protection with bits and pieces of our “hurtful” past being the foundation.

If we can only learn to turn the negatives into positives! Life is a journey that will not always be filled with sunshine. The old saying still holds true “Only the Strong will Survive” the weak will fall by the waste side allowing their past to destroy their future happiness.

They always say that over time the pain will heal but it seems to always become a permanent imprint on our life in some sort of way. It’s hard to forget that hurt even though you may not feel the pain anymore you can taste it right on the tip of your tongue. Allow that pain to become your strength…

Straight from my Heart, Patrice 🙂

Don’t Be Angry…

The very man/woman you are pouring your heart out to with hopes they can shed some light on your relationship woes is the very one who is envious of what you have. Just go talk to granny or pops and get some old school advice. Let’s hope they are not worse than your imposter friends.

When you tell someone about issues you are having in your relationship then wake up the next morning and it’s all over the 8 o’clock news don’t be angry. Learn to be more selective with the company you keep and whom you share your personal life with.

Remember that every time you decide to share your personal life you are taking a risk of that person having diarrhea of the mouth. People will pretend to care about you just to get close and destroy you.

I will never understand why someone would waste their time and energy trying to make someone miserable other than it has to be a sickness. I’d rather blog, work out or read a book before I spend my time hating on someone. Serioiusly? GET A LIFE!

Some folks can’t hold water. Right after you tell them something ten other folks will know every detail you shared with big mouth. In this world you basically can’t trust anyone but who wants to live life that way? This is exactly why you look for red flags!
People will show you their true character over time.

If your so-called friend tells you something that another person said about you that was negative you really don’t want to tell them a darn thing about your personal life.

I’ve had a female tell me that some chick came to her and had all this negative mess to say about me and she listened. The winch had the nerve to chime in with the heifer.
To make matters worse she in some way thought that her telling me that she agreed with the hater chick made her noble. #Blown.com

I was thinking in my head this b*tch is fake and phony and I wish she would leave me the heck alone. Both she and that hating chick can go kick rocks who by the way smiles in my face like nothing was ever said. Whoa!

Real women come directly to you when they have a problem they feel needs to be brought to your attention not gossip to others!

These are the types of people you never tell your business to no matter how much you want them to be your friend they are NOT.

Again, don’t be angry when the entire neighborhood knows your life story because you decided to share it with a snake.

Straight from The Heart, Patrice McCullough

Random Thoughts…

It’s difficult to not equate wealth with success in a world driven by capitalism,how much money you have in the bank,how big your house is and how fancy your car is.

No wonder so many have problems having and keeping a healthy relationship when all we think about is where our next buck is coming from and where it has to go.

That’s exactly why it’s so important to have someone willing to build with you and not take; always having their hands out begging for your hard earned money. Even if you have it does not mean you want to give it away. When you have two people who support each other in many ways especially financially it really alleviates stress.

The same dedication a person gives their employer when they have a strong work ethic should be similar when you are in a relationship with your partner.

We work hard for everything and everyone but our relationship! We become best friends with others when our best friend should be our partner. I often notice that the things a person did to win someone over stops. But you expect them to stick around and for what? You basically baited them in with what you are not and will never be.

Betrayal from the start is not good for any new blossoming love. People size you up just so they can do and say the right things to get you where they want you then BAM! People can be so phony and hardly know who they really are themselves. For some, life is a big stage where they play many characters depending on the situation. I’ve heard so many people say to me “I really thought I knew her/him”. Well, buddy you just never know what you are really dealing with all you can do is hope for the best.

Straight from The Heart, Patrice McCullough

How Can You Ever Trust Again?

A few people requested that I write about trusting when it comes to relationships. This is going to be really hard to write about since it is hard for me to trust as well. Sometimes I don’t trust myself and wonder if there will ever be someone in my life that I can honestly say that I trust 100%. What’s funny is a cheater never wants to be cheated on.

People always say without trust you have nothing but in the back of our minds we all have doubts which I call our survival instinct.
The worse part about that “doubt” is that it hardly has anything to do with the person we are currently with. That doubt is a direct result of what someone has done to us in past relationships that haunt us for the rest of our lives that we attempt to suppress. We have all been hurt one way or another when it comes to being in a relationship and you gave them your heart.

This young lady in particular mentioned that every one that she ever dealt with cheated on her! Lust is an evil thing and is hard to resist

Now she is engaged and is about to drive her fiancée insane with her insecurities. Whenever someone text or calls him she wants to know who and why? He happened to have female friends before he met her that are supposedly strictly platonic but she is still not comfortable with him engaging with the opposite sex on that level. This is not off to a good start since it is totally healthy to communicate with the opposite sex with respectful boundaries set in place of course.

I didn’t have time to ask her whether or not she had proof that all of ex’s really cheated. I find it hard to believe that all of them cheated on her but it is very possible. Exactly how many times can you trust someone with your heart when you have been deceived and hurt repeatedly?

You have to keep trusting until the next person you decide to be with proves otherwise; never accusing them of anything without solid proof. Never go digging for dirt what is meant for you to know will come to light without any effort on your part on anyone else for that matter. Some things are better left alone without you ever knowing. Is this the person I want to really be with? This is a very important question you ask yourself before you decide to cheat.

Sometimes hurt people tell LIES because they want you to hurt always remember that. This is not to say if a person knocks on your door and says “I am sleeping with you partner” that you don’t take them seriously. You must always ask the accused first before jumping the gun with your emotions.

Let’s say that maybe they did sleep with this crazy person on your doorstep; take a moment to think about what exactly drove them to go through such extremes that they felt you had to know. People make mistakes and this means that sometimes they may “cheat”…is this a forgivable sin? Yes, when you think about the fact that you two are not married in the first place and want to build a life together indeed it is forgivable. If your mate decided to have unprotected sex with someone than that is another story and very reckless.
Cheating for many is a way to find out if the person you are with is who you ultimately want to spend the rest of your life with. Sounds crazy but if you have no need to cheat or desire to be with anyone then you have your answer.

I’ve had situations that looked really bad but I really didn’t do anything wrong…but once I was grossly accused there was no coming back from that. When you know deep in your heart that you love a person and would never cheat on them but they accuse you that is extremely damaging.

Then you have situations where a person did in fact cheat. What does that mean? It is time to look into what you may lack that caused them to stray or maybe they are just greedy and have no self-control. You have to really sit down and think about what happened and what may have caused it to occur.

Ask them if cheating is something they can’t resist or do they believe they will ever cheat again? What can I do to make this never happen again besides leaving you? Be prepared to hear the truth…ask for the truth! You don’t need to be protected from the truth in order to be destroyed later.

People don’t often want the truth they just settle for the appearance of the truth.

Straight from My Heart, Patrice McCullough

Random Thoughts…

Once you accept that pain and disappointment has to be a part of your life you have built a foundation that will not allow you to be happy ever.

There is nothing wrong with having expectations but you must realize that most of the time people won’t live up to those unrealistic expectations that you feel are totally achievable and fair.
What it actually is, we want that person to be like “us” to do things the way we would like them to be done and that is wrong! It’s no better than forcing your religious beliefs on people. You must allow others to be who they are and adjusting to you will take time. You can only hope that the person you are with is open and can observe tension when it occurs in the relationship.

Pain associated with life is inevitable but it’s how you recover from that pain you will come out stronger or more broken.

Have you ever seen someone smiling during an argument or burst out into laughter during conflict? In your opinion you may perceive them as being crazy but realistically they saw the confrontation coming and have been down the road many times before. We have experienced the same stressors many times but tend to react negatively instead of learning from the other encounters and expecting a different outcome.

Stress kills and there is no way around the chemical effects that occur within your body however you can subside those detrimental effects by keeping stressors to a minimum. Your outlook and how you deal with any stressful situation will determine a positive or negative outcome internally and externally.

Straight from The Heart, Patrice (Patty Cakes!)

How Important Is Being Accepted Socially?

No matter how much you smile or how much you love there will always be someone who will not accept you.

When you base your life on the acceptance of others just for the sake of fitting in you set yourself up for failure emotionally. There are some sick unhappy people who will pick you apart and try to find everything negative about you they can…stay away from those types!

We all have some bad in us but our goal should be to have the good outweigh the bad.
We can all learn patience and how to be gracefully insulted while we seek understanding when communicating with someone who may offend us. We don’t have to accept anyone into our circle but you should respect who they are and not speak foully about them which by the way makes you far worse.

There are many people who morph into someone they are not just so they can simply “fit in” losing their true selves. If you are outspoken and rough around the edges that is who you are and if people can’t embrace your realness that is something they have to deal with.

You will never know a person’s journey and what shaped them into who they are today so before you reject someone try to accept them for who they are most importantly understand that you are not perfect as well.

It takes all kinds of personalities to make the world a more exciting place to live!
When it’s all said and done…I would rather be rejected for being me than accepted for pretending to be someone I am not.