Boxing Ring Love…is so not cool…

Sometimes we experience situations in life that will make us question our self-worth if you can step outside of yourself for a moment to actually realize it.
We claim to respect and love ourselves but we allow others to throw us out like Monday’s trash or flatten us like a steam roller; then have the nerve to profess our love to them after being thrown under bus right before they rip your heart out of your chest.

I wonder if we really like to feel pain; otherwise why wouldn’t be just tell the loser to get lost? The first lie, the first cry from being hurt beyond repair should be lesson enough but we keep enduring it for days that turn into months and one day it’s years!
You become so mentally and emotionally worn out that you will no longer be any good for the next person if you don’t give yourself time to heal and focus on loving and respecting yourself FIRST.

It may sound corny when your hear folks say “love yourself first” but that’s a FACT!
How can you allow someone to mistreat you and give them your heart? I am sure there are many reasons you would give but none that would make any logical sense. She/he used to be so nice or we have a history together is surely what they say most of the time.

History means nothing if he beats on you…History means nothing if she cheats on you. What they used to do and used to be like means zero what matters is how they are presently treating you.
Never use kids as an excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship because when you think you are doing the kids a favor you are doing them a disservice. Kids are smart and they can sense when their parents aren’t happy and they talk about it in their adult life too.

Trying to love someone that actually hates themselves is a never ending battle you don’t want to start. Now just imagine two people getting together and they have no self-love…that is a huge disaster waiting to happen unless they are open to change and willing to love and accept being loved in return.
When its’ all said and done every experience is a lesson so you aren’t dumb because you fell once or twice for the wrong person but if you repeat the same behavior than you should question yourself.

Make sure you are where you need to be mentally and emotionally before you drag someone into your life…

But he Told me He Loved ME?

Dedicated to a young lady that I have been communicating with via email. I hope this helps you a little to understand what you are going through…and know that you are NOT alone!

As days go by thoughts of you diminish. In my mind you are no longer a dream I once desired…As a matter of fact you never were what I thought you were.
The fairytale love does exist but not with you and there is nothing I can do to change your heart.

Time heals all pain is truly something I believe…but the first thing you must do is leave…in order to start the healing process…It’s amazing how much success and happiness comes into your life when you remove yourself from a bad situation and stop wishing for something in that person you never had….just be glad that you have the guts to walk away especially when there was nothing else to talk about…

You’ve been there before over and over and nothing has changed…It’s like sitting at a stop light and it never turns green…no progress in your personal life or love life is a waste of your time with someone who is determined to make your life miserable.

They will even try and make you believe that you are the problem when their behavior clearly dictates otherwise.
Justification for hurting you is never acceptable so never ACCEPT excuses from anyone for treating you badly.
I understand that some folks are hurt beyond repair although they tell you that they are happy they really aren’t…Happy people don’t hurt people period!
Love is supposed to make you feel like you have a runner’s high not like you just got hit by a bus!

If you cry tears of sorrow more than tears of joy something just ain’t right…No relationship is perfect but this does not mean that you allow someone to use you as a human punching bag or mentally toy with your emotions.
“I love you” means nothing if you can’t show ME!

Purge for 2014…

Throw out all the garbage (people) in your life…move on to bigger and better things.
Start counting your blessings not your woes…

Stop tolerating folks that are bipolar before you become just as crazy as they are.
One minute they are UP and the next they are DOWN! “Ain’t anybody got time for that!”

We all have bad days but when it’s every other day you may need to seek some sort of mental help if prayer isn’t working for you.
Some folks are so naive that they confuse someone caring about them as an annoyance.

They’d rather chase after someone that treats them like a second rate citizen.
If someone wants to see you and enjoys your company; what’s wrong with that?
If you don’t feel the same about them why send mixed signals?

You can’t expect someone to be there only when you decide that you want to see them; but when the role is reversed you throw them shade.
If you are into folks being desperate to be with you even that gets old after a while, kind of like a new car once the novelty is gone you want a brand new CAR!
Never force yourself on anyone when there are so many other people who would love to be in your company 🙂

Hey! Come to think of it YOU are your best company ever! Sounds strange but if you can’t stand to be alone and enjoy some “me” time…hmmm?
Work on loving yourself more and trust me watch how many people start to fall off…just try not to hug yourself in public too much.

Be more understanding instead of blowing your top; work on seeing things for what they really ARE not for what you HOPE for them to be.
Smile more but not the big cheesy phony smile; think happy thoughts and keep a positive mindset and watch more smiles magically form on your lips.
Those goals you set for yourself; well, dust them off and conquer those suckers with a vengeance…
It’s time for you to start feeling “accomplished”. Go ahead, stick your chest out and hold your head up high!
Get out; meet new people; sometimes strangers are the nicest people and can become one of your best friends…who knows!?

I almost forgot! Stop letting SEX determine how much you love a person because after the nut then what?

Food 4 Thought

Many times we don’t want to hear the truth and shut down never giving the other person a chance to speak.
We yell, scream and sometimes shout obscenities!
Most of the time people don’t have a clue about you making assumptions but that one person you decide to not hear out is telling you the truth.
Just listen and process what is being said even if you feel it’s nonsense in the beginning.
Sometimes we behave in an unfavorable manner never actually realizing it until its brought to our attention.
Don’t end up being one of those people who gets introduced by saying “that’s so and so that’s just how he/she is don’t pay so and so any mind, ignore them”
This means you have been a rude jackass and its accepted amongst your peers and family!
Then you meet me and I say, “I don’t give a damn how so and so is they will not speak to me or treat me with disrespect”.
We are work in progress. Constructive criticism is a good thing for everyone.
The most important thing is knowing when someone is being cruel or really care enough to call you out in private of course.
The truth may appear to be cruel but we all know the truth stings a bit at times so swallow and digest and expel all that you feel is realistically irrelevant or holds no validity.
Be honest with yourself, know who you are and what you are capable of.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire…

When you ask for the TRUTH be prepared or don’t ask…

When someone asks you a question and you can’t find it in your heart to tell them the truth, just say, “I don’t want to talk about it right now, this does not mean the answer to your question is a YES or NO, I just need time to think about how to respond to you.”

“I don’t want to lie neither do I want to hurt you so please respect that.”
The truth hurts and sometimes it may cause you to lose friends and/or damage relationships beyond repair but it is far better to be truthful considering lies hurt far more than the truth when things are finally revealed.

Betrayal does something to your soul when you gave a person your trust. The truth may hurt but you will be respected once they get their emotions in check.
For those who can’t accept the truth then that’s their problem if they prefer a liar instead.

Not everyone deserves your love…

You know when you meet someone and after the first couple of dates if they are someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sounds crazy but its true unless you are more focused on being a man or woman of the world and love doesn’t matter to you.

It is very possible to fall in love with someone within an hour of meeting them.
More realistic to say it takes months or years for love to de…velop but if your heart feels it you can’t deny it no matter how hard you try to fight it.

Your spirit longs to be with them and you are compatible in every way becoming one mentally and sexually.

You make each other laugh and when you touch it’s electrifying and they become a force in your life that you need like the air you breathe. This is dangerous if the other person doesn’t feel the same about you!

Never settle when you know you are a diamond.
Even if it hurts sometimes you have to let go to save yourself the intense pain you will experience if you prolong the inevitable.

Your heart and your emotions (lust) can take control of your ability to make a rational decision that can lead to a road of emotional destruction.

Save yourself the agony and pain for something that is temporary for pain that is long term. The sooner you remove yourself from a going to nowhere situation the faster your heart will heal.


It’s difficult to not assume but the best way to find the answer to your question is to simply ask.
If only they would tell the truth but sometimes deep down we really don’t want to hear the truth.

We believe that our assumptions hold more truths than the answer we will receive from asking for the real truth. The truth can sting and hurt but you have to embrace it…

Our imgainations get carried away and we bring those thoughts to LIFE.
Most people will lie to protect your feelings but what they fail to understand is that once the truth is revealed involuntarily you will crush that person’s spirit which is far worse than hurt feelings.

Lying to someone when they trust, care, love or are developing feelings for you is the ultimate betrayal when they let you into their life and open their heart.

Easier said than done but it is so much better to just tell the truth! That way you can move on with your life and allow the other person to be with someone that really does care about them.
If you must lie to keep someone around that’s just not right.

You Are Not Worthless!

Never be an option in someone’s life. If a person does not appreciate you they don’t need you nor do they deserve you. One day, and it may be many years from now they will realize that they lost out on the best thing that EVER happened to them.

Know your worth. We should never allow anyone to use us but we do simply because we gain something as well.

When feelings get involved that’s when you have a problem. Know when to walk away especially if you know that there is no future you are just temporary. It’s not fun being part of a heavy rotation.

Feeling Annoyed Today :(

I am at a point in my life that I have zero tolerance for nonsense. The things I used to ignore are indicators that there may be a mental issue with certain folks.
It doesn’t take much to get on my nerves especially when you are an adult and should know at the minimum on how to be respectful.

Some situations no matter how the other person is behaving you always take the high road it’s just not worth looking like the second donkey. Civility will keep your blood pressure down as well.

Besides, most of the time the people who annoy the heck out of you aren’t meant to be in your life anyway.

Random Thought:
No matter how much I may want to body slam a chick for talking sideways out the mouth ignoring her is just as effective even if you just don’t get the same satisfaction out of dabbling with violence.

Well, the police will place those nice silver tone bracelets on you and you will have a record follow you for the rest of your life! So, ignoring is by far the better choice praying that person doesn’t violate your space making you lose all control.

Another annoying thing is guys who are desperate and smother you with this idea that they own you. Are you kidding me? No ring and you want me to do what and not to do what? You will NEVER own me ok so move out of my way while I do me.

I am just annoyed today about everything for no particular reason…I listen to every word and read every text as if it’s the last word I will ever read or the last word I will ever hear.
I always seemed to miss so many things in the past that people said to me, you know those indicators (warning signs & red flags!) because I was caught up in the moment.

I let their actions that revealed everything I needed to know get tucked under the rug giving them a pass. How many freaking passes do you give a person?
I just can’t deal with anymore liars, phony folks, cheaters or people who are just down right inconsiderate in every way possible it makes me ill.

I am not perfect but at least I am not scum beneath the earth that goes around reeking havoc wherever I go.

Dating Games

When you are dating someone and you somehow come up with this verbal contract that you will not do this or that, unfortunately, that will not hold up in a court of law.

I am trying to figure out why people think they have the right to “own” you in a sense but never fully commit by either proposing or actually marrying you. I’ve heard many times that in order for you to move on to the next level you have to start somewhere. That’s fair, however; do you really know for certain the other party is on the same page as you are? We all know marriage is no guarantee of commitment these days!

Are they saying or doing “just enough” to appease you? Can I get a freaking promise ring or something?

They know exactly what to do to keep you dangling and your feelings grow deeper for them never knowing they are not really that into you. The sex is good they have your mind, have you coming back every time.

In reality, you are single and should be free to do what you please within reason and remaining as respectful as possible. Instead, we give our all when in fact the other party has no intention of ever fully committing which actually sucks when you think about it.

People will lie just to have two pieces of pie. They want to gamble and string you along until they decide who they want to settle down with if they ever do. You are either in this or not there is no in-between life is too short to play games.