Learn to Cultivate Your Relationship…

There will be a multitude of situations in life that you will need to cultivate like a harvest. This includes relationships. We want this prefect ready to go relationship with a person that is not categorized as “work in progress”.  In fact, the person who desires this perfect relationship and man/woman to go along with it all is the one with the most issues. Most people want what they are not or can’t offer. 

This does not mean you welcome a person into your life that cheats, and abuses you on all levels. Please don’t ever believe that people will change just because of marriage. They will be the same person they were prior to getting married. Change will only come if they decide on their own to make that change. You can’t change a person it is ultimately their decision. You will hear people say ,  “She changed me” nope buddy you made that change on your own. You decide to change because you knew that you wold lose her if you didn’t. “He changed me,”  Nope lady you changed on your own because you realized you have a good thing going with him. 

Relationships are very similar to building a house. You must have a strong foundation or the infrastructure will collapse. You must maintain your relationships and implement upgrades and improvements along the way within. Ever notice how dedicated most are to their jobs? They are loyal to the employer, remained employed over the years, received promotions because of this! The same should apply to your relationship. Be loyal, dedicated, respect each other’s time, produce, don’t make unnecessary mistakes and I could go on. Your actions mean everything. Don’t show up for work or scream at your boss and see what happens next. You will be fired…Life is so short that you really need to know that the right person needs a little cultivating. 

Have a wonderful day and I wish you a successful and healthy relationship!

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Why Hide Something Beautiful?

Just when you think someone is your friend they prove otherwise. I must admit when I saw her post on Facebook it really hurt my little feelings.

Sometimes I can be overly emotional; however this is only when bamboozled into thinking you really care about me as a Human Being First than a friend.

For example; I post pictures of Timmie and myself on my page all the time. There are several posts that represent positive feedback not only about Timmie but about MEN being wonderful. Not all men are dogs or no good dead beat Fathers.

Funny I stumbled across a post that went against the “loving” activity on my page.
Her statement was valid however; not in my case at all. Just because your relationship/marriage was ruined as a result of social media does not mean that will happen to my relationship.
Only the strong survive who have REAL LOVE as the foundation of their relationship. Trust and loyalty means everything if you don’t have that you have nothing! Yes, we had to rebuild our trust now it’s solid as a ROCK!

There are just not enough positive things said about Black Men in general when it comes to relationships and being a parent.

I am beginning to think that if you are happy MANY people hate you and want you to be miserable with them. There are so many folks who lived a miserable life for as long as they can remember. But whose fault is that? Definitely not my fault you are miserable.

If you smile too much you are phony and don’t even think about being overly positive then you are annoying. Who in the heck came up with the statement “behind every smile is pain”? That is the most ridiculous thing ever! You better believe that if I am in “pain” I won’t crack a smile no way no how!
I just believe that being unhappy is a choice no matter the situation since it can always be much worse.

Question

Hello Followers,

I want to take a moment to thank you all for your support. Your comments and taking time out of your busy day to read my blog does not go unnoticed. It actually warms my soul to know you are interested in what Patrice thinks. Thank you…Ok! I have questions for you…please respond your thoughts matter to me.

I am still trying to figure out something that I already know. Well, at least I think I know the answer and could be totally wrong.

(Question #1) Is it possible to have problem-free relationship? Of course, most would say “Every relationship has problems!” Then you will have some that will say, “It depends on the couple and how they relate”.

There are actually couples who NEVER argue! (Question #2) What exactly are tolerable issues and what aren’t?

Followers I really would like to hear from you.

Love,
Patrice

Hero?

***There is always a grey area when it comes to what I have written. Will there be cases when you should mind someone else’s business? Of course! That all depends on the severity of the situation and if someone’s life is at risk.**** Just be careful you don’t put yourself in harm’s way when you decide to play private detective or a good Samaritan.

You just found out something that was rather disturbing about someone and all of a sudden you feel compelled to tell them? Well, you really need to mind your business!

Even if you were part of the fiasco just shut your mouth please. Stop whatever it is and keep it moving. If whatever you found out does not directly affect you shut up!

“I really think she should know that he is cheating on her”. First, why is it any of your business? He’s your friend ok I get that part but the worst is when you have no affiliation with the person but you think they should know? Once again, just mind your business.

He’s your friend and you want to protect him, right? You tell him and then what? He will continue to see her because they already discussed having an open relationship…feeling dumb right now?

You are a person that feeds off of drama that is all. If you must be a blubber mouth please make sure your facts are solid as a rock and get ready to get the donkey poop smacked out of you if you bark up the wrong tree.

You see her out hugging on a guy and he even kisses her on the cheek as they walk away holding hands. It’s her cousin fool and they are not “kissing cousins” as in tongue all over the place! They are just very close and love each other as family.

Everything is not as it seems and you better just look the other way. Be more concerned about your folks cheating on you since that should be your only agenda.

Whatever is meant for them to know; they will find out without you poking your nose in their relationship. If the situation occurred several months ago or even years why the heck are you divulging the information now? You are a rat bringing old rotten cheese and love drama.

My name is Patrice and I don’t know anything unless it is about me. I have a life of my own.

Mind your darn business and you shall see how much happier you will become. So busy cleaning other folk’s back yard that you have maggots in yours.

Five Years Still No Ring? WTF?

Ok, like seriously, how long do you expect a woman to wait around for you to marry her?
Five years is way too long but hey that’s just my opinion since I was dumb enough to do it.
As 2014 is fast approaching; I decided to end whatever it is we had for so long.
Most folks that I asked to give their opinion on this mess, said,”Why should it matter as long as you are happy”?

Well, that’s exactly it, I am not happy knowing that he got all this milk and cookies for FREE!

There are details that can’t be shared in a public forum however there were SEVERAL factors that assisted me with making this final decision.

In order for me to discuss the topics on my blog guess what? I had to go through it myself!!!!! Hated it…but hope that my life experiences will STOP someone else from making a HUGE mistake.

Is it dreadful to be in a long-term relationship if both parties aren’t considering marriage heck NO but it has to be mutual?

Dude! Don’t pull the “Will you marry me?” when I have one butt cheek out the door…that is just WRONG in all sorts of ways.

Being married for 10 years previously sort of makes me not in a rush to run towards the Alter but if I am playing house for 5 years hmmm? IDK just does not seem right.

No, I will not change my mind nor my heart…my mind is made up. Being an old maid does not scare me…being alone does not scare me although; I am totally too hot for that. LOL

I will not date anyone that isn’t a potential husband considering I am 43 not 23…

Purge for 2014…

Throw out all the garbage (people) in your life…move on to bigger and better things.
Start counting your blessings not your woes…

Stop tolerating folks that are bipolar before you become just as crazy as they are.
One minute they are UP and the next they are DOWN! “Ain’t anybody got time for that!”

We all have bad days but when it’s every other day you may need to seek some sort of mental help if prayer isn’t working for you.
Some folks are so naive that they confuse someone caring about them as an annoyance.

They’d rather chase after someone that treats them like a second rate citizen.
If someone wants to see you and enjoys your company; what’s wrong with that?
If you don’t feel the same about them why send mixed signals?

You can’t expect someone to be there only when you decide that you want to see them; but when the role is reversed you throw them shade.
If you are into folks being desperate to be with you even that gets old after a while, kind of like a new car once the novelty is gone you want a brand new CAR!
Never force yourself on anyone when there are so many other people who would love to be in your company 🙂

Hey! Come to think of it YOU are your best company ever! Sounds strange but if you can’t stand to be alone and enjoy some “me” time…hmmm?
Work on loving yourself more and trust me watch how many people start to fall off…just try not to hug yourself in public too much.

Be more understanding instead of blowing your top; work on seeing things for what they really ARE not for what you HOPE for them to be.
Smile more but not the big cheesy phony smile; think happy thoughts and keep a positive mindset and watch more smiles magically form on your lips.
Those goals you set for yourself; well, dust them off and conquer those suckers with a vengeance…
It’s time for you to start feeling “accomplished”. Go ahead, stick your chest out and hold your head up high!
Get out; meet new people; sometimes strangers are the nicest people and can become one of your best friends…who knows!?

I almost forgot! Stop letting SEX determine how much you love a person because after the nut then what?

Don’t Mistake Love for Abuse…

My thoughts based on my personal continuous journey on trying to learn to love myself unconditionally; understanding that the act itself does not make me “selfish” but demands in a subtle way for others to love and respect me.
It amazes me how we actually believe that we are wise when we make all the wrong decisions.
The areas in life we need to be the strongest in we are so weak that it almost destroys us. What makes it worse is we know exactly what the future has in store for most situations; yet and still; we allow ourselves to get sucked in.
Eyes wide open; we dive head first letting our emotions and hormones take front seat.
Listen to your inner voice that is there to save your life! Never ignore your gut. If it hurts it’s not love, if you are sad most of the time you are forcing something that is not meant to be.
You can’t be the only one who compromises alone with no reciprocation from another. You will risk being drained mentally and spiritually beyond repair becoming biter; holding an ugly grudge against all that truly want to love you unconditionally with no strings attached.
Never allow a human being to ruin the core of who you are and suck you dry having you afraid to love again. Be wiser in who you decide to love.
Love only those who are “worthy”, who respect you; who make time for you; who make you feel like you are the only one in their life when you know that is far from the truth when they may have kids.
People who make excuses for not treating you like a “human being” should be removed from your life permanently. It is easy to do once you decide to love yourself unconditionally. When you get hurt enough you will wake up and if you don’t; you will have a miserable loveless life searching for love in all the wrong places. Love starts from within.
If you don’t respect and love yourself unconditionally, why should you expect another human being to do the same?