Can I Have Your Number?

Telling a person who is on a mission to get in your pants that you are taken is like jumping in front of a bull with red on.

I am not judging anyone because my closet has more than enough skeletons but that’s over and done with. Patrice is a better person as a result of doing some rather unsavory things in my life.

Thank goodness my conscience is alive and well to eat away at my very own happiness even when thinking of doing someone wrong.

It appears that the majority have no respect for your relationship if you don’t…makes sense?

If you entertain advances whether you are a man or woman from another person and you know damn well that you have someone that loves you to pieces shows you have no respect for your relationship. (Run on sentence?)
I write exactly how I speak it’s a curse!

Why should anyone else care about whoever you are with especially if you never mention that you are involved?

Most thirsty folks could care less if you are involved with someone else they just want to be sexually satisfied. It’s all about getting their rocks off and nothing else matters.

Once you introduce outsiders into your relationship you are setting yourself up for DRAMA!

You might as well go into your relationship telling your partner that it’s an open relationship. They have two choices deal with it or leave.

But of course most of us are selfish and want a main squeeze and a side piece or two. Gee whiz! Oh well that’s life and it can get ugly at times.

Having a choice is better than being in the dark. Let folks know what they are dealing with so their heart is not totally given to you.

No matter the situation feelings develop even when we try to fight those emotions with all our might we fall. We fall hard too!

Now what?

Single for Life

What exactly makes a person decide they want to be single for life? I can think of lots of things but my reasons would be different from yours or maybe not?
It all boils down to being sick of being sick and tired of the same bulls*t over and over and overrrrr again! I swear some folks act like they have 9 lives even after wasting 8 of those lives.

I have found that you can tell someone that you are not happy and they will try to force you to be with them; it’s clearly insane. If someone tells me they are not happy and want to bounce; I will kindly show them where the door is with no attitude…thank you for not wasting any more of OUR time. It was somewhat nice while it lasted…have a nice life.
No matter what you say to yourself being alone is no fun; an unhealthy relationship is by far not the better option.
This really gets confusing sometimes for so many of us!

It seems that every relationship comes with its own set of issues that we choose to either deal with or run from. What I find that is hilarious is we end up dealing with same issues with a different person with a variance of severity. Then we must wonder if those problems are in fact manifesting within us and not the other person. Is it possible that we could be the problem? Indeed but not all the darn time…this is when a self-evaluation is needed.

My cousin and I were driving in her car yesterday after having dinner. She actually said something to me that at that particular time peaked my interest making total sense. Have you ever said to someone or to yourself “If this does not work,I am done”?

Well, my cousin told me that it’s ridiculous when all you need is time to get your mind right and allow your heart to heal. You never know if you will meet the love of your life when you least expect it. Don’t shut the possibilities out by throwing up a brick wall that reads “DO NOT ENTER”.
We let so many ships sail by because we are hurt or allowed someone to waste our time that was never meant for us to be with in the first place. Please stop asking, “How do I know if they are the right person?” When you know the very moment you meet them unless you are detached from reality. Wake up, look and listen…observation is critical. Listen to half of what is being verbally communicated and all of what is VISABLE.

Sometimes I wonder if being single something that was predestined for me or whether meeting someone that possess 90% of my character traits and defects (LOL) would make a huge difference.
If I can meet someone that is not the opposite of me that may work! We would understand each other therefore knowing what the next move would be if that makes any sense at all.
We all are on a quest to find LOVE…the type of love that last forever and doesn’t HURT.

Straight from My Heart, Patrice

We Have A History…OK?

If someone tells you to jump off a bridge, would you jump? If you are a jumper STAY OFF MY BLOG!!!!

This is my opinion based on my very own personal experiences and pure observation:

Sometimes we lose ourselves in relationships by placing too much emphasis on the other person neglecting the most important person and that’s you not them. The worst thing you can do is depend on someone to love you when you don’t love yourself…that is truly sad.

If a person starts of telling lies and cheating more than likely they will continue to do so if you are still hanging around…you are simply saying “it’s totally fine to DOG me out”. Begin to take full responsibility for the role you play in a disastrous unfulfilled relationship and stop pointing fingers. “It takes TWO to tangle” …

There is huge difference between a good history and bad history. I strongly believe that you must be happy no matter what the situation is. There is no perfect relationship but being happy is so worth working through the tough times. My philosophy is that I am responsible for 60% of my happiness the other should be fulfilled by my mate….30% give or take a little. (Vice versa)

Otherwise, why do I need him? Ok! SEX…hmmm? “After the nut then what?”
Can a person change? Of course they can! If they want to change you can’t make them decide to change no matter how much you try.

STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART, PATRICE
PatriceMAuthor@gmail.com

But he Told me He Loved ME?

Dedicated to a young lady that I have been communicating with via email. I hope this helps you a little to understand what you are going through…and know that you are NOT alone!

As days go by thoughts of you diminish. In my mind you are no longer a dream I once desired…As a matter of fact you never were what I thought you were.
The fairytale love does exist but not with you and there is nothing I can do to change your heart.

Time heals all pain is truly something I believe…but the first thing you must do is leave…in order to start the healing process…It’s amazing how much success and happiness comes into your life when you remove yourself from a bad situation and stop wishing for something in that person you never had….just be glad that you have the guts to walk away especially when there was nothing else to talk about…

You’ve been there before over and over and nothing has changed…It’s like sitting at a stop light and it never turns green…no progress in your personal life or love life is a waste of your time with someone who is determined to make your life miserable.

They will even try and make you believe that you are the problem when their behavior clearly dictates otherwise.
Justification for hurting you is never acceptable so never ACCEPT excuses from anyone for treating you badly.
I understand that some folks are hurt beyond repair although they tell you that they are happy they really aren’t…Happy people don’t hurt people period!
Love is supposed to make you feel like you have a runner’s high not like you just got hit by a bus!

If you cry tears of sorrow more than tears of joy something just ain’t right…No relationship is perfect but this does not mean that you allow someone to use you as a human punching bag or mentally toy with your emotions.
“I love you” means nothing if you can’t show ME!

I just want to have sex…that’s it

If a person tells you in the beginning “I just want to have sex” why do you expect more from them as time goes by?

You have to be up front with folks and let them know what you expect from them.
If they feel they can’t deliver then they are not for you. Beware of LIES folks will tell you anything and everything you want to hear believe only ACTIONS.

If you both aren’t expecting anything (best case scenario) then it’s fair game.
However, someone will eventually get their emotions caught up in this little fling thing you have going on so you have to be realistic. “We are just friends” that’s cute at first but it can get ugly in the end. People have mastered how to be honest but somehow they seem to tell you more lies that bury the honest part.

Listen to your gut when it tells you to “GET OUT”. Most importantly be aware keep your eyes and ears open at all times. They will not only show you how they feel they will tell you unknowingly sometimes.

People who are afraid to commit are the most dangerous people to trust your heart with.
Stop thinking you have this magical power to change someone’s heart.

It takes a miracle from God and you being the one in a million individual to change that person’s heart when they are hell bent on never falling in love again because they feel it’s just not worth it.

Sex is VERY intimate especially for women. SEX changes the entire game!

Does Love Expire?

We all have different thresholds when it comes to how much we will endure.
If the wind blows some of us in the wrong direction we give up. Fighting for love just doesn’t seem advantageous to me or maybe I am just lazy. Love to me should come easy, flow with no restrictions and happen when you least expect it never actually planning it.

The first time a man tells me that I must not really love him because I won’t argue will make me run for the hills. You have got to be freaking kidding me? Do you think I want to live my life arguing with anyone? That’s a double negative dude and you can keep it moving bye- bye. Anything worth having is worth fighting for when it comes to relationships, no way! You are either in this or not buddy take your pick because I am not fighting or forcing anyone to be with me.

Some will fight through quicksand for years until they finally decide they have had enough. I am lover not a fighter but have been known to stick around way too longer than I should for the sake of finding love. After a while, I begin to feel like a used sucker providing perks that only a husband should be privy to.

Love expires no matter what they say about it being forever. There is indeed a thin line between love and hate as well. When people play games with your emotions it can be devastating especially when the entire relationship was never real.

How can someone FAKE a relationship that last for years? I have no idea but it has been done even when it comes to marriages. My honest opinion would be it’s nobody’s fault but my own if I don’t realize he’s a phony when the writing is almost always on the wall.

We not only know when someone is taking us seriously we can feel it but instead we choose to hope that one day their feeling will change. Lust will get you caught up every time.

Never ignore your instinct or the little feeling you get when things are not right it’s how you protect your heart. The one thing that scares me the most is that I actually may enjoy being single for the rest of my life if that means peace of mind is the prize.

Dating & Money!

Women who expect a man to take care of them 100% is complete nonsense while you sit on your arse doing nothing. Clean up the house, cook do something!
If you do expect a man to support you 100% do not be upset if a man requires the same.
Being lazy and greedy has nothing to do with whether you are a female or male.
Nobody that has good sense wants to be involved with a broke, lazy, greedy bum who constantly has their hands out in the palm up position.
It does not have to be 50/50 but don’t expect the man to do everything alone just because you spread your wings.
80/20 works for me!
If a man CHOOSES to be your sole provider by all means allow him! Just treat the man out to dinner and OFFER to help sometimes.

ALIVE BUT DEAD?

What if you died tomorrow? What would people say about you?
Do you feel you have accomplished enough in life?
Have you wasted your life chasing after things that have no significance?
Are you afraid of being alone when you came into this world alone (minus twins)
But you will leave alone unless fate decides otherwise.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when we need to really think about how far we have come and where we are headed.
Take your heart with you and guard it with care but don’t forget to bring your brains with you.
Love yourself and allow others to love you.
Life will present hurdles so JUMP! You may fall but you MUST get back up!
No matter how small your dreams are or goals you must make progress baby steps are fine.
Don’t become stagnated while on your journey keep it moving! You may be alive but you are really dead on the inside if you let your life waste away. In order to be happy you have to learn to depend on yourself!
~Patrice

The Man I Will Fall In Love With…

Sex in a relationship is indeed important. However, sex alone should not be the deciding factor on whether you fall in love with someone. Lust should never be confused with LOVE.

A man that will not verbally or phycically abuse me is a man that I will fall in love with.
A man that never makes excuses but finds resolutions is a man I will fall in love with.
A man that takes care of his kids not just financially but who gives them the love they need to grow is a man that I will fall in love with.
A man who has character and feels no need to lie to me is a man that I will fall in love with.
A man who is not afraid to commit, communicates, loyal,God-Fearing, Hardworking, Ambitious, Humorous and is sensitive to my needs is a man that I will fall in love with.
A man who is not afraid to apologize when he his wrong is a man that I will fall in love with.
A man who will rub my feet when I tell him that they hurt is a man that I will fall in love with without asking him to.
A man that loves his mother and respects all women no matter where they are from or what they have done is a man I will fall in love with.
A man who will love my children as much as they love me is a man I will fall in love with.
A man that I can tell him just about everything and will never judge me is a man that I will fall in love with.

I would be just as worthy as he is to me no double standrds allowed.
Everything else will fall into place…